Who're You Going To Kiss

New Years Eve is with one exception a changing celebration so while the venues are different. the one constant is the midnight kiss which occurs after the customary countdown. This is when you step out of the old and into the new. At the stroke of midnight you kiss your nearest and dearest and you must ensure that the kiss lasts at least a full minute or it does not count and would be deemed a wasted buss! In the absence of your ideal kissing partner you should always have a backup plan to avoid being locked into any less than comfortable clinches. If at a dance, you must be cognizent of the time and if it is close to the kissing hour you are advised NOT to accept a dance from your sisters husbands Uncle Jim who aside from being a cigar aficionado, is not even close to Fred Astaire and is certain to trample your tootsies. You must also run from a dance with the self proclaimed Romeo who has been to the bar at least one time too many, no need to join him when he loses his footing as a fall to the floor would not be an attractive look for you at any time. Should you find yourself at a house party and figure out that you are the intended of the only other unattached person in the room, you must casually slip away to the little girls room at 11:59, but be sure to lock the door behind you! This will avoid any discomfort and/or dishonesty unless of course he is your type.
In the end, remember that it is your decision who to kiss. Happy New Year!

Best Loved Holiday Movies and a Box Of Kleenex

Each year around this time we have a plethora of tear jerker holiday films from which to choose whenever we turn on our television sets. We all have our absolute favourites and some of us even juggle plans with our real worlds in order not to miss a single frame. You might wonder what keeps us coming back year after year after year when it is clear that we know what will happen and we can effectively participate in the dialogue as if certain parts were written just for us. It seems a given then, that it is not mystery or curiosity that has us captivated, it is in fact familiarity and an all abiding love for the soppy or syrupy sweet classic that thankfully only gets trotted out once a year. We diehard fans of the old do not prepare for watching these masterpieces in the usual way we'd prepare for viewing a rented DVD. No popcorn, chips/dip or chocolate chip cookies for us. No sodas or ice cream, no tv. dinners. We the faithful need only one significant extra to ensure that our experience is the best it can be. We need a jumbo 3 ply box of our favourite tissues. We may put some emphasis on being comfy and cozy and elect to don our favourite pjs and argyle bed socks as we snuggle up with our pet pooch-aptly named- Bogey, but always, never far beyond our reach is that old trusted box of kleenex, the perfect accompaniment like wine and cheese, cheese and crackers or Lucy and Desi.

Bathing Beauty

Although it is snowing almost non-stop there is no sign that swimmers are weather motivated. For those dedicated fans of water movement, it is a year round activity so thankfully there are a myriad of venues available. We have those overly heated outdoor pools where pool entry is indoors while the swim is underneath the sky no matter the weather. For those who choose these pools there are waterproof rabbit fur lined hats with adjustable face masks; this feature is especially important as frostbite is a real danger on days when the barometer takes those low low DIPS!! A small percentage of water people have indoor pools at home so there is no fashion requirement, in fact no specific swimsuit requirement either. The one place where the winter swim wreaks havoc with your physical image is the old indoor community center pool. It is here that any number of fashion statements are made and most of them are poor to put it kindly. In these pools you will find people who have not bought a new swimsuit in eons; the colours are chlorine faded and the elastic supports are not so supportive anymore. Next up are the senior swimmers who faithfully attend water aerobics classes modelling their brand new one piece goldenager attire complete with matching hooded towels and multi-coloured plastic shoes. Last but not least are the young moms who while they may have temporarily foresaken their bikinis in favour of the unmodest one piece cut up to here and down to there, have not given up flaunting, and I am not talking about their newborns. I suppose that all female swimmers have delusions of being bathing beauties and I do not intend to burst their water bubbles!

Last Minute Frenzy

The stores are jam packed, filled to rhe rafters but we're not talking merchandise, we're talking people. All those poor souls who have left their Xmas to do lists until 2 days before the eve now populate the stores in much the same way I imagine the small outposts were populated during the days of the Gold Rush. This migratory pattern however is unmotivated by any type of monetary reward; instead people seem to be fighting to stake their claims in the aisles, which have clearly become todays mother lodes. Once they have what they so desperately seek, could even be argyle socks...they head straight for the cashier to "register" their claims, oops I mean purchase their wares. Does this sudden accumulation of potential wealth- of course I meant to say -"things" make them happy? If yes I wager there would be a lot less bickering at those check out counters. What about the recipients of the bounty? If they were happy to receive, then would there still be such a high ratio of regifting? I think that the whole process strikes fear in all hearts; the giver and the receiver alike. Nowhere is there a trace of honesty. The giver will not admit to spending as little as possible although these times dictate frugality, and the receiver will never admit to the absolute uselessness of the "GIFT" for fear of insulting anyone. So in all I'd say stay home, do not buy, do not race willy nilly up and down the aisles otherwise you are guaranteed to catch something from being in such close proximity to assorted microbes. Last minute frenzy can only turn out to be a lose lose situation.

Jolly Jumpers Et Al

As public awareness continues to grow regarding the developmental needs of young babies, more and more new products become available and are touted as the lastest must haves if you want your little budding genius to excel physically as well. Beyond the Baby Einstein and other 'mental' enhancements on the market there is now a whole new focus placed on baby's physical prowess. Where once the old tried and true Jolly Jumper seemed to fade from the forefront as an unsafe place for baby, it seems to be experiencing a rebirth as it is once again in high demand with nary a trace of the recent trend to steer clear of it. The Jolly Jumper comes back with a vengeance only because some marketing genius has found a way to make it irresistable to the legions of parents who are heavily into overzealous overprogramming. These are the parents who have already registered their 'stars' in the Rolls Royce of pre-schools despite the fact that baby will not be in attendance till the year 2013. These are the parents who have signed up for virtually every Mommy and Me course that is being offered. We now have legions of infants and their proud moms doing a mean Salsa and and mastering Pilates classes with Tai Chi on the horizon. The only way to maintain this frenzied activity at home is to make full use of the Jolly Jumper. Simply popping baby into the jumper is no longer an option if you and your baby are high achievers. Before placing junior into that jumper you must ensure that he/she has a specific reason to have their little feet tap at the surface of the floor. What could be better than adding music to the mix? You have only to place a musical mat that responds to the slightest touch, under the area where the jumper is. What you get is the desired over-stimulation; each time babys foot touches down on the mat, the music will play. Jolly Jumper is considering giving away a free musical mat with each jmper purchased.

24 Hour Shopping

How considerate of some large retail corporations to extend their hours in the weeks preceding Christmas. It warms the heart to see the signs on some store doors announcing not just an extension of store hours, but a 24/7 period of operation. An answer to our shopping prayers indeed...Now on any given day instead of sleeping through the night we can interrupt our 8 hours by dashing out of bed at 2:00am and racing over to the store for some much needed retail therapy! What a revelation. No more standing in check out lines and no more hordes of bargain seekers to fight over merchandise with. The aisles are ours for the conquering and isn't that how it was always meant to be? We should not lose sleep over the minimum wage earned by the staff who'd clearly much prefer their shifts to jive with the lives of their family members. This is the mighty pre Xmas season after all and why give any thought to anyone elses family when you have yourself to think about? The season of family, of giving, of generosity? If we support these all night opportunities as consumers, then we clearly make a statement about how selfish we are and that puts us right up there with the great minded CEOs who hatched their plot motivated strictly by avarice. Tis the season to be greedy??

The Journal

She had no one to talk to about all that worried her as she tried to make a life for herself and her family in a new country. With rudimentary language skills she felt her limitations were magnified and wondered how long it would take until she got a true feel for the lay of the land. Her children began school and formal language instruction . She spent the time in between walking them to and from school, turning the small living space she had been given in a distant relatives home into a haven for her son and daughter and trying to learn as many new words as she could retain. Her husband would not arrive for six months so it all rested on her tiny shoulders. She felt the burden like the weight of a ton of bricks and as the weeks passed she seemed to be buckling beneath the load. One day on her way home, she paused to look into the window of a small neighbourhood bookstore and there she saw a small leatherbound journal, a quill pen and a jar of ink. It occured to her that her new life seemed to be unfolding in much the same way that a story does from its onset. The beginning is the promise of the end once the middle has been read, and so too was this, her new life in this new place. She recognized that this was her beginning and that she needed to be the author of her own lifes middle in order to arrive at the ending she had dreamed of before she arrived in her new country. The journal in its newness was the clean slate of her life and she wanted to fill its pages with all those words that would be the story of her life in her new home. She entered the store clutching her well worn bilingual phrasebook and managed to make her purchase.

The Heat Is Off

Living sandwiched between other apartments on the south side of a high-rise has until now precluded the use heating, as the interior remained toasty warm no matter how low the exterior temperature. This year however the cold began to seep in gradually which finally required that the thermostat be elevated for what I thought would be a quick fix. After 30 minutes of on "high" the cool draft was a bit of a shocker to say the least. It was then I realized that the routine electrical inspection of the unit -which resulted in a 'filter' change- had somehow turned this once comfy cozy living space into the tundra zone. The weather continued to get colder as did the flat until finally I had no choice but to purchase a small ceramic heater. I connected it to my trusty surge protector and as the small rooms began to warm up I congratulated myself on managing this latest crisis. My newfound comfort was short lived as suddenly without warning with the wind beating against my windows, the heat was gone as was my computer, cellphone charger and the few other electronic necessities which had been housed by my surge protector. Electrical overload! Since I am and have always been a non handyman I had great cause for panic during those first instants of the return of the deep freeze. Thankfully logic triumphed and I gingerly unplugged the electrical blanket and re-plugged it into the socket on the other side of the room. Instant success!! After a fine roasty toasty sleep I woke up with a perfect action plan. I purchased a new surge protector and decided to plug in only the bare necessities. I am newly confident in an area that had previously been a definite gray zone for me. Everything is working including the miraculous mini ceramic heater. I also purchased a smaller surge protector which is plugged in just beautifully on the far side of the room. In the end all my electronics are suitably 'housed' and totally on task, but the heating unit in the apartment is still not working.
No, I do not intend to try to fix it myself although I bet I could.

Thanks To My Editor ( N.D.)

As we near the end of the year I need to confess that I have a partner in this blog venture and it is time to give thanks to the person who most supports my writing. My "editor" is always willing to read through any drafts or embryonic potential publishing matter and the invaluable guidance I receive is what enables my thoughts to make their way to the 'publish post' option. There are many opportunities for my editor not to be able to opine due to the fact that it can often be a time consuming affair yet no matter how busy, my editor is always there with advice and often a necessary nudge; sometimes even a push! With stories galore to share my editor chooses to remain in the background and focusses on my blog. I would love to edit for my editor and so while I say a formal 'thank you' here, I offer the same selfless services whenever my editor decides to become the 'writer'; no I did not submit this draft for editing.........

Don't Go Changing (S. V.)

We are raised to stick to our guns, stand by our convictions and not to give up when we KNOW we are right...for US!!!! If we listen well, we let these 'orders' guide us and then suddenly we are the adults with newlings to raise and form. We clearly cannot foist our belief and/or value systems on anyone, not even on our children, but we can demonstrate through our actions so they can get the gist of who we are. Hopefully, they will find at least a few things to emulate and then to incorporate into their own set of values and the ways which they think are right for them. As we get older, if we are in tune, we may recognize that we need not stagnate or mark time. How fortuitous that there really are options available; we can stay on the narrow road and continue to be inflexible, we can hang on tightly in order not to cede control, or we can step back, become more mellow and be open to what in the past might have seemed too scary. Sometimes the mere mention of the word 'change' is enough to strike great fear in the hearts of many. I believe that the key to overcoming the panic that thought of change provokes, is to be vigilant and not to change the you that is at your very core who you truly are 'au fond'. All the other components should be like Lego, easy to connect once you've learned how to play so that you really can connect. You may be lucky enough to get to a point where you can let someone in; let them see who you really are without all the protective barriers that you have so painstakingly erected and which have been intact for most of your adult life. If you choose to let yourself be truly visble, then you choose to allow yourself to be vulnerable and with that choice you forefit any guarantee that you will be safely protected. For this reason, you must be careful in your choices because the wrong person will not be able to see you. the wrong person will be lost in their past and on a plane so far below yours that it will be impossible for them to make the shift that you have made. At the end of the day you will be much stronger than you ever thought possible as you leave the old carapace behind and become the butterfly you never thought you could be. Just don't go changing the things that have always made you the individual that you are.

The House Party With A Twist

You have decided to spend a long weekend up north with friends and from the time you arrive it feels as if you have entered a small town pre-Christmas house party zone. One on Thursday, one on Friday and tonight you have yet another. Although you feel partied out you have no readily acceptable excuses available so you console yourself by plotting to put in a brief appearance and then make an early getaway to prepare for your return trip home in the morning. The glow from the brightly lit home shines through the large bay windows reflecting off the newly fallen white snow in the front and the small river at the back. The cars drive slowly down the small street and dislodge the guests who gingerly make their way up the path to the front door. Then it is your turn and the large wooden doors open. You step in from the cold, hang your coats and as your eyes adjust to the light you see the other guests; some seated some standing all with drinks in their hands all in party conversation mode. You join a small group and wonder only for a moment why the conversational tones are hushed, but only for a moment because that is when you hear it. The soft background music that gently wafts into the foyer and seems to settle like a melodious cloud over everyone. No piped in Christmas carols here, but instead, the brilliant sounds that can only come from a live musical instrument. You find yourselves drifting towards the piano as if under a spell. Then you see her, the pianist, tucked away in the corner by the fireplace. Your eyes are drawn to her magical hands and for a long moment you are unable to take your eyes off the perfectly formed fingers that glide effortlessly across the keyboard. Ice cubes tinkle in glasses as people wander in and out of open rooms and somehow, as soft and unintrusive as it is, the music is everywhere. The pianist has created the perfect background pallet for the rainbow of colour that her music seems to paint. This house party is perfect and you know that you will be staying a lot longer than you'd originally planned.

Family Holiday

As we enter the Christmas holiday season it seems that the buzz centers once again on family holiday plans. Much is said about the package deals available which will transport your family unit far from your snowy wonderland to a tropical beach with plenty of sand and sun. If your group is hale and hearty a winter vacation is the way to go and depending on your particular family preferences, you get to choose anything from the 5 star with the hot tub getaway to the esthetically challenging quincee {sp? } hut that you get to carve out of the snow (no not an igloo)all by yourselves. The choices you make will obviously impact the amount of luggage and 'things' you must bring along, not to mention the utensils and/or chains, ice picks etc. for the drive away holiday and/or the size of the limo to the airport which again depends upon the number of family members and the volume of bathing suits, towels and 'just in case' hurricane/tornado/tropical storm apparel. The dilemma of which way to go has been passed down through the ages for as long as there have been Christmas holiday celebrations and it is believed that this quandry is at the root of that old lament; "decisions decisions decisions." Our family happily has another take on holidays and we seem to celebrate whenever we are lucky enough to be together. We need no luggage or "things" and we do perfectly well just bringing ourselves. Our destinations are sometimes wont to change at the last minute and this never wreaks havoc with our flexibility quotient. We get to"holiday' as a family whenever the fates are kind. With the exception of one small black bag that sometimes comes along, we are seasoned travellers who look forward to each and every trip; location notwithstanding.

Shareholders Meeting

The biannual coming together of workers and the uber bosses they rarely see during the course of their work days is usually a time fraught with anxiety. The workers must be prepared to be unceremoniously dumped on for any number of reasons, most ironically having nothing to do with the actual job they have been hired to do. It is perhaps possible that the shareholders are having a bad spell at home and they bring this negative aura to the meeting where they take out their misery via many cutting and critical remarks all made under the guise of "I only have your best interest" etc. etc. etc. The shareholder could be suffering from a bi-polar type of illness but in honour of this meeting he/she has forsaken all meds and again the worker is trounced, only verbally we hope. The boss who is usually supportive, turns into a raging "yes" man/woman who all but forgets workers names in a desperate attempt to curry favour with the omnipotent. Essentially the worker bee is left to stand alone at the mercy of the basic character of the shareholder because it is evident that it matters little whether or not the worker is doing the greatest job on earth, the only thing that matters is the perception the shareholder has, of the worker, not the work he/she does. Normally I would not personally endorse any particular product through this forum but after hearing so many horror stories I feel that it is now time to put in a plug for a recently published workers guide which has many helpful suggestions to alleviate worker stress around these meetings. One of the most helpful hints I read in this must have book is as follows: "Do not let anyone talk down to you no matter their status because this is bullying in the adult arena" I agree with this and further suggest that you either walk away if someone speaks to you inappropriately or cup your hand to your ear as you smile and calmly say; "are you speaking to me? I can't seem to decode speech when it is at high do". Another hint addresses heresay which comes into play when a shareholder tells a worker how his/her co-workers have been polled and 'all agree etc. etc' At this point the worker might like to set the record straight by reminding the shareholder of the inaccuracy of polling results but he/she is better advised to casually mention that idle gossip is never the way to go, and then maybe casually drop the name of a well known lawyer who everyone knows is just the perfect person to look into launching a pro bono defamation of character suit on behalf of the persecuted worker.

This guide has numerous scenarios culled from various workplaces and I predict that in a very short time frame it will become a #1 bestseller. The book is called A User Friendly "Green" Guide on How to Become the Mouse That Roars No Matter Who The Cat Is.


Author: B. Poisson





ISBN62da

Long Underwear

The cold weather is back and the onus is on me to prove that I do in fact prefer the rigors of staying warm in the bitter cold to the thankless task of staying cool when the temperatures are in my opinion, way too high. As a connaisseur of "layering' although I fit quite well into this group, I have chosen to break away from the mainstream to found my own wee niche called 'attractive' layering. The rebel in me rises to the challenge of disproving the heretofore synonymity of the words layering and unattractive. I have decided to forsake the heavily padded snowflake infested pastels of old and go for the wafer thin and delicate slinky black that has only recently become an option. Every good layerer knows that it is futile to waste any thought on what goes underneath the underneath but in my new role as a maverick layerer I have come up with a myriad of choices to replace the same old same old. These range in various styles of decolletage and 'interesting "T"s in a rainbow of muted hues with nary a white or beige cotton blend in sight. Once the ensemble is complete and to my liking I might finish it off with a cashmere layer of socks (black of course) and voila! Long underwear a la haute couture.

Sleeping In

For years I have felt myself to be sleep deprived and to counterbalance what I perceive to be at least a bit of a problem, I make promises to myself throughout any given week. My promises are either to take a cat nap after work, to go to bed earlier than usual or to catch up on all the hours missed by having two sleep in days each weekend. This is all in an effort to be proactive but by the time Friday rolls around and I have fulfilled neither of the first two, I plan for the big sleep in. I stay up really late because I know I can sleep in. I turn off all the telephone ringers and then the funniest thing happens. My inner body alarm clock goes off anywhere between 6:00 and 7:00am and no matter how few zzzzzs I've had, I am fully awake. I fool myself into thinking that I can drift off again but with the sun reaching its long fingers of light under my window shades, this becomes mission impossible. My head begins to fill with the endless possibilities that a brand new day offers and then suddenly everything becomes crystal clear. No matter how little sleep I've had or how much sleep I know I need, the bottom line is that I cannot possibly donate another moment of a precious new day to my bed and my lost sleep. I have finally decided to focus less on my grown up nocturnal challenges and more on the philosophy of my younger days, 'Carpe Deim'!!

An Alternative To Pre-Christmas Hysteria In The Malls

If you are at all interested in keeping your sanity while the world around you seems to go mad in a shopping frenzy, do your Christmas shopping in August. One advantage aside from the obvious -lack of hordes who are all away on summer vacation- is that the sales are genuinely sales. End of August is the time when everything needs to be removed from store shelves to make way for the transition (through merchandise) from summer to fall. The markdowns guarantee that the leftover stock will clear with ease and you reap the true benefits in your wallet. The pre- Christmas sales are simply someone's clever idea of selling a mirage. In November the prices are generally higher then they need to be which allows those savy big corporations to offer us 50% off if you opt for door # 1 or the ever popular "buy one get one free" should you go for door #2. All their brilliant sublimimal messaging lulls you into a completely unrealistic state where you are certain you are actually saving! During the month of August you also have a good chance of being able to walk the entire mall without being plowed down by a runaway pram or toddler. You have no reason to duck as no one will be walking too closely beside you thus removing the threat of bodily harm which is inevitable during the pre Xmas season when the throngs juggle their oversize packages, boxes and unruly children. The other plus to the August shop is the parking lot which is easy to enter and/or exit and where you can actually find a spot. It is clear that during the Nov.-Dec. season the only one who can navigate those lots is Santa, because he doesn't drive, he flies!!

Saying Goodbye To A Friend ( L. L.)

How odd that friends from our past with whom we lose touch remain, at least in our perceptions, our friends. You move away and the day to day contact is gone but the feelings remain intact defying both time and distance. It is perhaps more difficult to handle when suddenly and with no preamble or warning your friend is gone because when you begin that inevitable road trip backward in time, you need to travel on your own. The one who could so easily corroborate all your memories is not going to be able to give testimony. Your memories need to become totally independent and must forever more stand on their own. You reminisce, you are back in Vermont, you laugh, you cry, you become wistful, you say goodbye but deep down you know that as long as you remember, there is that certain voice that you will always be able to hear.

The Visitor

He arrives at the airport and although he is 40 minutes early he makes his way to the arrivals lounge and takes up his position at the appropriate gate. He watches intently his eyes wading through the masses that seem to be like a moving tidal wave of people entering the arrivals hall from the inner sanctum of the customs area. The info board warns of a delayed flight and still he waits patiently no grumbling or agitated movements, but an inner calm below the surface masks the sheer excitement of this impending visit. As all who wait are usually rewarded so is he when the crowds suddenly part and he finally sees the face he had been searching for. A tall elegantly turned out man with a twinkling smile comes into view and the wait is over. The two men hug for several moments and to anyone watching the love is apparent. The years since they were last together and the oceans that separate them fade away as the brothers begin their reunion.

The Writer Goes West

After several years of non-stop writing his perseverence seems to have paid off...finally! In matters of discipline, the writer is an expert and no matter how dire the circumstances the writing never wavered. Time was found when none seemed available and somehow the writing continued. Dry spells were ignored before they had a chance to rear their heads and so it went, for years. The writer and his small but loyal coterie of supporters never once doubted that success would be his but they were not clear about the timelines. If he is nothing else, our writer is modest to a fault which has proved an invaluable quality when one considers the disadvantages to the swelled head syndrome. Only in fables of long ago might one find a moral to prove that big heads have their uses so since this is today the writer simply packs up his writing gear, gets those bags backed and heads off to a small island of his destiny, in the west.
Bon Voyage!

What To Do When The Road Is Finally Paved (D.M.N).

You feel as if you have been living in a war zone. Not only have you been dodging a multitude of roadblocks (see stockades)but the intolerable noise factor makes you wonder if the daily intrigue you've undergone in order to leave and/or return to your home each and every day for the past 8 weeks is worth waging personal transportation war over. You had begun to ponder living elsewhere for the duration when just as suddenly as they invaded all the trucks are gone and the street has been returned to you; peace and quiet miraculously restored. Unlike a post battle scene there are no visible scars to bear witness to the siegelike state in which you had been dwelling and although you find it hard to believe, the artillary noises have not left any permanent dents in your hearing. What stretches before you like an amazing vista (that is if you are an admirer of cement and tar) is a beautifully flat paved road. It is in fact so perfect that you are hesitant to drive on it, walk your baby in his pram or even use your bicycle lest you leave any tire marks. Digging out your old nearly worn fuzzy slippers you you put them on, go out the front door and gingerly take your first steps onto the 'new' surface. You begin to walk, (almost on tiptoes) and suddenly the street that seconds earlier had been sooo silent, is teeming with neighbours you'd forgotten you had while the war raged, you barely hear their footsteps as they shuffle along smiling at their good fortune, they have won back their street. You quickly glance down and notice that everyone is shod as you are, almost like post traumatic syndrome behaviour it seems that you are all reluctant to mar the pristine patina of the street where you live. Suddenly you all turn at the sound of a strange noise you can't quite identify which has broken the hushed tones that had prevailed until this point in time; then you see him, your neighbour the firefighter. He is bravely wending his way down the street on ROLLERBLADES!!!!

Taking A Break/Making A Change

At some time or other everyone needs a break from something. This can be as simple as a deviation or two in our day to day routines, as radical as a career change, a leave of absence or as simple as a change of address. Whatever needs taking a break from should be treated as a priority. How odd that we often procrastinate when faced with things we 'must' do that are the even the slightest bit 'difficult' and whose outcomes are uncertain. When our list of 'to dos" exceeds the size of our 'don't want to dos' it is clearly tme to revisit our situations and make at least a few changes that would alter the negative ratio. Kick boxing is a little known source for boosting our combative skills and may help us 'tackle' at least a few of those things we have been keeping on the back burner. You can try Tai Chi, Yoga or just plain walking but whatever you decide, make that change and/or take that break NOW! You CAN do it!!!

Click Click Click

Guess what causes the "click click clicks" that you hear even in a noisy crowded room from someone seated across and two seats over from you. Use your imagination but know, even if you do figure it out, the constant sighs intermingled with the endless clicks, were rather annoying and distasteful to say the very least. It's not as if you can turn to the click clicker and request that he cease all further clicking because (a) that would be rude and (b) it is quite possible that the clicks are involuntary. It is when you come to suspect that the click click clicker is completely unaware that his click clicks are disturbing, that you change your mind-set. Suddenly you feel empathetic and each click click click instead of causing you to erupt into nervous laughter, has you thinking about how best to deal with the invasion of your hearing sphere. You come upon the ingenius plan of holding your thumb over the opening of your ear, the one closest to the clicker. This proves effective in blocking out the sounds and your evening can proceed with nary a click click click click to bother you. CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK!

Halloween

Here is the question, kind of.... remember way back when our children were small and we had to coordinate these Halloween nights? We needed to walk the kiddies through our neighbourhoods AND we needed to light that candle inside our perfectly? carved pumpkins in order to let the trick or treaters know we were home and more than willing to give out candy. Looking back it is easy to recall those exhausting pressurized nights when we tried so hard to be everywhere and to do everything but today, in what appears to be a time span that has run its course quicker thatn the blink of an eye, the children are grown and gone and somehow the urgency to dole out the sugar has faded; or has it? In the rosey glow of a first and second Halloween with no children to costume, we think; well we've paid our dues, we can now breathe easy as we are happily? out of the running, ahead of the Halloween race to get that pumpkin carved and lit, to get those candy bowls filled and to have endless supplies of coins for Unicef. The key word here is 'THINK!!" We do not expect those eerie Halloween pangs of wisfulness to kick in with such an intensity so it comes as a tremendous shock to when we inexplicably find ourselves in the candy aisles of the supermarket buying out a substantial portion of their wares. What is even scarier is how we grab our purchases and sneak off to a friends house to help THEM give out candy. It seems we care little that we have not bought a pumpkin or candy in years, and we find that in fact it is quite like riding a bicycle. We are back where we were always meant to be: answering each and every knock at the door and disregarding our older achy backs as we bend and scoop the loot for a new generation of little ones who may know more than we do about how important it is to have these special occasions to celebrate. So much for getting what you 'think' you wish for.

Faublous Eighty!!!

No words are adequate to describe our own personal woman of valour who today marks an awe-inspiring milestone that we are so fortunate to be able to celebrate with her although some of us are not in the same geographical area. It is testimony to the wide net she casts with love, that we can and do feel so near despite the many many miles that are between us. Our guiding light, our shining star our mother, like no other before her and we four, the smartest children who ever lived for having the sheer genius required to choose the very best that heaven had to offer. It is often said that we pick our parents and what a pick we made! So Mom will be glad to know that today is not only about her, it is about us too, her four jewels, her four treasures, her two sons and her two daughters. Today is our day to pat ourselves on our backs for choosing so perfectly. Today is the day when we recognize yet again how lucky we are, how much we love and respect our mom and how much joy she has always made sure we had in our day to day lives both as little ones and now adults. In a way, today is a day like every other, it is yet another day for us to continue to show Mom that she is respected, admired, oh so easy on the eyes and totally loved.

Self Absorption

Judge for yourself:




A woman of impeccable taste who spends real time getting ready, is clearly always perfectly turned out no matter what the occasion. She never needs to ask for anyone's opinion because she KNOWS everything she needs to know about her "look" and has the confidence that her years of experience will guarantee the photo finish product she expects of herself before she takes even one step outside her dressing-room.
Recently this woman along with her husband, son and grandchildren attended an in house dinner party at an old friends place. Upon arrival she deposited the de rigeur hostess gift on the table and as she greeted her old friend, the friend whispered; " you have a small hair curler in your bangs." The woman quickly removed the intruder, thanked her friend and proceeded with her evening unfazed. My take on this is that this woman whose family was with her all the way to the party, never once noticed the little pink object that wasn't meant to be there, and this leads me to the obvious; all those family members who were in attendance are way too self-absorbed.

The Board Meeting

In the workplace there is only one thing more unnatural than being confined with all your colleagues to that tiny spot called the staff lunchroom, and that would be the staff meetings where you are gathered in the boardroom scattered at various long tables all with an unobstructed view of that incredibly cutting edge WHITE BOARD! You are prisoners of odd and usually random groupings which unfortunately makes this situation so unlike any other social function where you might be tempted to alter pre-arranged seating and actually be able to switch the placecards around. There are no placecards so you are doomed to spend the entire 4 hours in the company of many with whom you'd rather not even be on the same bus; small consolation that if you were on a bus you might perhaps have an actual seat while they stand above you hanging on to those bars. The CEO takes you through your paces and when you do get to chat within your small groups it is interesting to note that those who daily try to command every possible situation, continue in that vein as they take over the tables where they sit until theirs is the only voice you get to hear. These monopolizers have no clue as to the meaning of 'shared' conversation and as you try to analyze the data on your agenda it quickly becomes clear that there is nothing 'shared' at all except for this one individual's negativity. Unless this is how you intend to allow your life at work to be you have one of two options from which to choose; Get up and move to another table or simply feign an illness and skip the meeting!

A Flame

When one speaks of flames what exactly is it that is meant when referencing all the possibilities where flames are concerned. There are eternal flames, past flames, (old) rekindled flames, (what was old is/can be new again) flames that are only really embryonic in terms of intensity, and flames way too hot to handle. (clearly the opposite of the embryonic!) Each strata of the various types of flames is unique yet all of them need to be handled with extreme care. Flames when mishandled have a terrible way of burning and not even flame resistent clothing can prevent the scarring. It really doesn't matter if you are able to diagnose your personal flame type; what does matter is that you see it for what it is and not be afraid to face what it brings. The saying 'don't get too close to the flame' is a rather broad preventative that in the end could cost you the undeniable once in a lifetime chance to experience something quite extraordinary.

Rats In The Cradle? No In The Window!!!!

Aside from dashed dreams and loss of income, razing the infested eating area that has always been a disease waiting to pounce, is a necessary step to take if the area in question is ever to be HEALTHY again; the upside would of course be no deaths due to poisoning. In a predominantly rat/mouse infested radius no matter how many inspectors were/are duped into issuing a 'Pass' rating, the bottom line is painfully evident when a simple camera lens is able to capture the image of Mr. Rat in a restaurant window standing guard over the green Pass permit. All this media coverage and nary a shot of the restaurant kitchens, washrooms etc. where in all probability, legions of rats run amok undetected by the paparazzi. Add to this leaked purchase receipts for indoor combat gear and you can pretty well picture the dress code for the food preparation staff. Mr. Rat calmly sunning himself for all to see is a final indicator of how brazen these rodents have become and leads me to believe that there is no alternative other than the big raze. The kitchen is hot enough without the added layers of protective clothing, and billy clubs should NEVER inadvertently be used as mixing spoons,

Foliage

There is only one valid reason to head for the woods in the autumn, at least as far as I'm concerned, and no it's not for the hunting although all wannabe hunters taking part in their qualifying rounds as we speak, would beg to differ. Not that I have anything against hunting especially as I am a qualified archer (arrows work well when hunting apples) on the contrary, I might like to try it someday, but not in the fall. I think the fall needs to be reserved for appreciation of the incredible palette of colours that our woods put before us each and every year. The hues are often so vivid that shades are required to make it easier for the eyes to bear the profusion of reds and oranges -so like flashes of flame- as you negotiate your steps among the trees. When face to face with spectacular autumn, it would be foolish to waste our attention on fleeting glimpses of fur, coloured vests and antlers when we really should be concentrating on nothing but the foliage!

Thanksgiving Long Weekend Looms

The perfect time to give thanks and ponder life as we know it, is upon us. Aptly named, it seems to generate thoughts on any and or all the components of our day to day and at some point no matter what the sum total is, we need to acknowledge that we have much to be grateful for. We begin perhaps with the little things such as gratitude for long weekends, and move on to the larger items like family, close friends and health. We do this simply by word motivation which thus begs an answer to the question what if there was no official "Thanksgiving," would we steal any time whatsoever from our hurried lives to really take an honest look at who we are or what we have? I think it is fair to say that many of us do in fact take fleeting moments to sit back and admit how lucky we are, but there are also many who would be lost sheep in the gratitude department were it not for this holiday. Many need to be enticed into the realm of counting blessings and because most methods used to encourage this are not successful, how fortuitous that we have Thanksgiving Day and its accompanying long weekend. Not only do we get the 'day' itself but we get a cornucopia of days just in case we happen to be too busy on THE day! In all, Thanksgiving is a win win time of year and the only way to improve upon this tried and true occasion, is to have at least one for every season.

Nostalgia

Well it happened! The switch has come to pass, the new boss is ensconced in his office and all seems ok until...the 'old' boss comes for a visit. Suddenly all your efforts at acclimatising to the changes the 'new guy' brought with him seem inadequate as you realize how much you have missed the old guy! He re-enters your work space bringing with him that aura of calm and joy that you realize you have been missing all the while you had been thinking that the transition was going fairly smoothly. So much for that ridiculous theory. New guy is nice and does his job well but old guy.....that's a completely different story. Old guy brings his heart everywhere he goes and that is impossible not to notice. You may not remember all that he did each and everday during his time at the helm, but it is clearly impossible to forget the man himself when you are confronted by sheer wonder as the essence of his being once again fills the building. His visit is thankfully brief as if he too feels the incredible power of nostalgia and knows as do you, that there is only so much of that one can take in the professional arena.

Film Festival

An unexpected gift of two tickets to a foreign film causes only the briefest of hestitations; You have the option of taking the two tickets but as you do not have anyone to share them with, you opt to take only one and the ticket donor assures you that she has someone in mind for the other. You arrive at the theatre and not five minutes after you take your seat, the other person who shares your 'pair' takes his. He recognizes that you too are there by virtue of a mutual friend and a conversation begins. The small talk fades away as the evening begins and you thoroughly enjoy your first festival experience from a movie perspective. There is however the added dimension of a more personal slant when the screening is over and another conversation begins. Small talk gives way to bigger talk and the scene shifts to a local restaurant. What a great idea it was to take only one ticket!

Labour Day Weekend

It came as a great surprise to me that the one weekend in the year that I have always dreaded could turn out to be totally fine and without any of its usual back to school/end of summer angst. A slight mind shift will reveal the possibility that both the return to school and the end of summer, need not be fraught with regret but can in fact be a simple transition; we do actually go from this time on to the next and the "going" is truly something we should be grateful for. It is suddenly clear that this is simply the close of a certain season and all that comes with it, so if we can make the decision to greet the fall with open arms we are more than likely to reap the many rewards that this colourful season has to offer which will definitely make our adieu to summer easier to bear. We can look forward to the cacophony of colours that our trees have in store for us and all the apples we can possibly hope to pick will soon be available as well. The usual variety of outdoor sports and activities will certailnly be enjoyed with much less sweat as we head away from the extreme heat and humidity. So as long as we remember to make time for what is really important, we should be just fine. It is true that the long hazy days of summer are perfect times to spend with family, and if we try to maintain that focus, we should be more than good to go when we bid farwell to summer.

Piano Tuner Or Stalker

Where do you draw the line when you notice that your piano tuner appears to be paying way too much attention to your "piano"? You have had your piano tuned and that should have been that for at least six months yet your tune meister continues to telephone you with suspicious regularity, (like a run on metronome!!) strongly suggesting that he return to your home in order to determine if your "piano" is as it should be. He actually tries to sell you on the need for further tuning; his persitent calls and persuasive telephone messages have left you feeling rather annoyed and defensive to the point that you are on the verge of issuing a terse "tune off" even though you are not usually aggressive or rude when responding to those who are. This piano tuner seems to have overstepped a professional divide that should never be crossed and now it is up to you to make sure that harmony is restored. At least there is no monetary cost involved!!

Suit Of Armour

Now that you have arrived at your new posting, it would seem that you have come unsuitably attired. In all your careful preparation you have neglected to dress for the job you have and you find yourself in dire need of a stylist to make the transition go a bit smoother and to keep you safe at the same time. No easy feat unless of course you can find the perfect clothing advisor who well understands the demands of the job and can see the whole picture, not to mention someone who has your best interest at heart. It seems to me that the suggestion of protective gear made in jest is in fact probably the way to go. Your 'special needs' dictate a full outfit that will include a head device sporting hearing filters that will allow you to let in only those sound bites that you feel comfortable with so in this way although you will see line-ups of the disgruntled you will not have to deal with the words (complaints!!). The jettison levers guarantee you a more peaceful entry in this the New Year, because when used properly their jet powers afford you the luxury of dispensing with no fewer than 300 complainers at a time which you must admit is new techmology at its best. With your custom-made"suit of armour" you can march into 'battle' with increased confidence and no fears!

All Day Breakfast in The Sun

What are the odds that you will find perfection on a small patch of pavement in front of a bakery situated in a remote corner of a mostly full suburban parking lot? If you are a skeptic, let me assure you that you will indeed succeed if you seek. The perfect all day breakfast is readily available at this unlikely site and while you may assume that many parked and moving cars will cancel out the possibility of any ambience, you would be wrong in your assumption. Seating at small outdoor tables affords you the opportunity to feast in the sunshine and feast you do, on a breakfast that is not only yummy, but healthy to boot. If you are lucky enough to be breaking bread with a sparkling conversationalist, you will easily block out the sometimes raucous conversations of the nearby diners and you might even think you are at a cozy outdoor cafe in a way cooler geographic location far away from where you actually are . You will linger over your coffee and have no inclination to clockwatch so it will come as a great surprise to realize that you have spent more than two hours en plein air over breakfast!

Picnic At The Beach

I have always loved picnics. When we were little Mom used to take care of loading up the basket with our favourite sandwiches, fruit, cookies, and homemade lemonade. We'd stake out the perfect picnic table and race off to the huge park with many many swings and a super long slide, and when we were finally too hot to race around it was off to the lake to cool off. We were not great eaters but picnic food is special isn't it? I remember that we were so happy when called to lunch and none of rushed back to play until we were totally finished eating. There was something magical about a day at the beach with Mom and Dad. As a mom I wanted to recreate those picnics for my children and I found that I was the one trying to include everyones favourite foods, omit their dislikes and basically think of everything, which is exactly what moms do but I had not seen my mom planning and/or preparing so it was a revelation to find out just how much effort goes into the simple picnic. Now that the kids are grown I assumed that my picnic days were behind me. I never expected to have anyone prepare a picnic for me, and that is why I was so surprised when upon our arrival at the lake, my friend removed a rather large cooler from the back of his car. We found the perfect picnic table and when the cooler was opened I found picnic fare unlike any I'd ever had before. No homemade drinks but a perfectly chilled bottle of wine, no sandwiches but crusty baquettes with any number of possible bread toppers, an amazing dessert, etc. etc. Not surprisingly, I still love picnics and not even a bit of rain can change that.

New/Old

After years of only cursory contact, I have recently begun to see (again) someone whom I knew well eons ago and I am amazed at how easy it was to rekindle a past friendship. What has proved even more remarkable is that although essentially ours is an old friendship, what we have now is both new and familiar as opposed to old and stale. We never run out of things to discuss and it seems perfectly natural that today after a rather lengthy hiatus we manage to speak to or see each other often simply because we have both made a choice to find a place for"us" which is something that for one reason or another we stopped doing some 13 years ago. We are clearly not the same people we were then, but I like to think that today, we are the truest versions of ourselves. We are more patient, we listen better, we can be totally honest without fear of repercussion or judgement, we are kinder, we can laugh at way more things, and we are grateful for this second chance.

The Baby's Room

Tucked away in a bright cozy corner room on the second level of the house is the green and orange haven created for Baby N. by his parents and family. The oval white crib on wheels waits quietly for its very special passenger who will certainly develop an early love of travel as he is wheeled between Mom'n Dad's room and the nursery. He will never see the excited anticipation in the faces of his parents but those of us who have seen it, will tell him. When he arrives, he will take his rightful place within the family and he will know from day one, how loved he is. The care and joy that went into the planning of his room will be as obvious to him as it is to us. This baby's room is perfect! It is beautiful, ready and waits only for him in order to truly come to life.

Go Home!

Although it has often been said that you 'can never go home again' I think that it is in fact quite possible to do. Perhaps you are not too thrilled about revisiting places from your past because of the memories you know will resurface and this is probably due to the fact that you believe on some intellectual level, that these are better left tucked away in the recesses of your mind. I find it interesting that the very memories we try to keep at bay are often the ones we need to revisit so we probably should be brave and take those trips back to wherever. We will hopefully be able to see 'home' through 'new' eyes thus lessening the potential power of any unhappy or painful past recollections and strengthening the original love that used to draw us back with such a magnetic force. While it is true that we will miss seeing certain people, we need never let that 'missing' altar the way we feel about 'home'. Remember that 'everything old is new again' so when we have the good fortune to re-meet those with whom we had lost touch, we come to the realization that these new/old relationships are the perfect antidote to the reluctance that sometimes precedes a visit to the past. If you are really lucky, you will manage to create new, strong and happy memories that will keep you coming back to your special place with a lighter heart.

Golf With Mom

I doubt that there are kids anywhere as lucky as my sibs and I because we have the most amazing mom. No visible signs of aging and no noticeable decline of energy despite the advancing years. As odd as it may seem, we four have trouble keeping up with her as do her many grandchildren who range in age from 10-27 years old. No amount of pre dinner prepping in front of the mirror results in our looking as beautiful or well put together as our mom so we don't even go there. We play golf every weekday with our stunning and classy mother who can still out drive and out putt while looking like a movie star and it is not at all surprising that Mom still turns heads wherever she goes, even at the golf course! On the wooded fairways and in the hushed silence that is our golfing milieu Mom points out the wild flowers, the natural springs and the waterlillies with the same appreciation as when she tells us to listen to the frogs at the water hole whose croaking does indeed sound like guitar twangs. Mom can still spot the wild raspberry bushes and for some reason they taste way better when she picks them. Mom is our own personal golf pro as she suggests which clubs to use for certain trickier shots and is always ready with helpful hints on how to avoid the sand traps. Now that we too are parents we can easily see in our golfing Mom yet another dimension although she manages a seamless extension of her skills as a mother. She has always encouraged, praised and taught, so it is not at all hard to understand why golf with Mom is not simply a game that is fun and competitive. Golf with our mom is the 'green' cup without the flag, but full of love.

Nothing To Say, Nothing To Hide, No Reason To Call

You have cut her loose..finally, and instead of seeking her out you must remember all the reasons that prompted you to let her go and stay far far away. There could have been someone who told you to jettison the one who you had been with for a pretty long time, and you decided to follow the strong suggestion, or you figured out that a two or three timing life wasn't a valuable or productive use of your time so you cut the expendable. The reasons matter little but what does matter is how you adjust to no more freedom then you ever had before. You mistakenly assumed that your activities were in danger of being curtailed and perhaps/hopefully now you are actually able to see that that just wasn't the case, you were soooooo wrong. Nothing and/or no one can ever stand in the way of you getting all that you think you want. Inasmuch as you have wiped out your last relationship you have absolutely no reason to maintain contact of any kind with her and should be concentrating on having your life exactly where you decided you need it to be, without her. Wipeout is the same as erasing and is therefore permanent. There is nothing to worry about either. All wounds heal and people move on to where they were meant to go. When you have nothing left to offer and no regrets, it would be the most honest and selfless thing to ask someone to go and then to actually let them do so.

On Becoming An Actor

How do you handle someone's declining memory without letting them know that you know their saddest of secrets? It is certainly a challenge to pretend that all is 'normal' when there are so many things that happen which show you that this is as far away from the truth as we are from the moon and stars. It occurs to me that it is perhaps a good strategy to behave like Sarah Bernhardt and give daily performances that are Oscar worthy so that you never tip your hand and reveal what it is that you know. Hopefully the acting will get easier with each passing occasion and your heart will hurt less after you have several 'good' performances under your belt. This is a harder than any audition you might have to endure because without even trying you've gotten the part, the role is yours for as long as it needs to be. There will be no nights or weekends off, no understudy will step in, and you are not at all prepared. You have no script to read from, no director to tell you where your mark is and you do not want to know about the last act. The only thing to say to yourself at this point is;

Break A Leg!

Jazz In The Rain

For the second year in a row you become one with the moving wall of people who like you love being outdoors on the streets of the big city humming, swaying and dancing to the 'surround sound' music from the bandshells that dot the perimeter of the 'jazz' area. You have taken nothing for granted weatherwise and are armed with your trusty plasic outer covering in case of rain, but with the sun shining and the promise of continuing summer-like weather you suddenly decide to throw caution and pessimism to the wind and you leave your plastic rain protectors in the car, just this once. You have the best seats/stands in the HOUSE when the first bolt of lightening brightens the sky and as blue fades instantly to a gray/black you continue to listen to the music which is fine despite the unheralded addition of the loud thunder claps. As the heavy rain begins to pour down you scramble for cover and join a new wall of people under the eaves of a large theatre. The mood continues to be upbeat and as you knew it would the rainfall ceases leaving a darkened evening sky and multi luminated puddles that glow in colour reflected from the lights still flashing on the stages. You bravely reassume the position and make an executive decision not to return to the car to fetch your rain gear. Jazz in the rain is still perfect!

Playing The Latest Numbers

The roster has grown and now includes numbers 4 and 5! This is quite a commendable tally especially when one considers the seeds that needed sowing with such care before any reaping could occur. It is definitely reaping time now and yet again the dilemma will be in how you cope with a double harvest when your 'farming' time is so limited. Although I dislike excuses and normally would not recommend that you give in to storytelling, under these specific circumstances you may want to try the old " sorry but I have a plane to catch, I'm off to Spain and will soon be running with the bulls", so I really do need to keep this meeting brief..........................
I am quite sure that this will work.

Bon Voyage!!!

The New Frontier

You may think that you are standing at a precipice because it suddenly feels as though you are on the verge of tumbling head first right into the abyss if you take a wrong step. There are no maps to follow (not covered on Mapquest) so basically you believe that you are totally on your own but this could not be farther from the truth. Just because a physical presence is absent does not mean that you have been left high and dry. You need only summon the essence of the one who has left or those you have left, and when you do, you will step right back into the very aura you think has evaporated. If you have reason to lament a farewell, then you have the power to bring back precisely those 'things' you are so certain you will miss. Granted, their states will be greatly altered but they will nevertheless have the ability to give you what you need when you most need it.You will find that each journey taken, is only partially like an expedition to a new and unfamiliar frontier. Each time you venture forth, you will be armed with all those 'things' you have lived, learned and loved on your previous voyages so the more you travel, the more goodbyes you have to say, the stronger you become. Humility is what feeds our sense of trepidation and reluctance for change even as we know deep down that almost every change is for the best. There are reasons for everything and that includes why people's circles interconnect. Once you determine that those mysteriously special connections NEVER disconnect, you will move steadily along your next path with barely a tear or a backward glance, you don't even have to say goodbye again.

The New Guy

We met our incoming head honcho today and he seems just fine. Everyone has more or less calmed down yet there is still a deep dark shade of blue that has invaded our workplace. We are so clearly experiencing that little known but powerful phenomenon known as workplace angst. It has become apparent that we are not simply losing our boss, we are actually losing a very unusual man who has managed to guide us not by weilding the power of his title, but by offering to share his expertise and knowledge as well as his friendship. When you have the incredible good fortune of working with a person who makes you a vital part of the daily work routine, you are not surprisingly reluctant to see him go but you are inspired to try really hard to handle this tremendous upheaval in order to make his departure as painless for him as possible. Knowing that he leaves behind him shoes that at best can be described as verrrrry large, you can only hope that the new "kid" on the block has flexible feet which will after a certain time, grow to be a near perfect fit for the shoes of a master!.

The Last Dance

Although I love music and dancing I am a far better listener that I am a dancer unless you count the Cha Cha. Once a year at our pre-summer dinner dance I get to kick up my old heels and thanks to an impeccable partner, I actually look like a real dancer. My partner is such an incredible dancer that all eyes focus on him and by osmosis the few that shift their gaze in my direction are totally fooled into believing that I am on the same level as he is. I however know the truth and that is that my dancing is very much like the emperor's new clothes; simply not there! My partner for these past 4 years has been my boss and when we began our once a year ritual, it was because I didn't know how to politely refuse without looking like a complete chicken so I tried hard to overcome what I knew to be the fear of showing my colleagues how bad a dancer I really am. Once I conquered my demons, I found that there could be joy where I had least expected it. I will always be grateful for this unexpected gift, and tonight after our last dance, I have to admit that this is yet another thing I will miss when he goes.

The Transfer

What do you do when you return from two days away from work to find that your boss is to be transferred? The thing is, do you do the generous/generic "right" thing when you respond as in "good for you every change is a good change", or in a case where you actually LIKE your boss do you give in to the strong urge to break into loud sobbing and wallow in self pity under a cloud of dark thoughts? Maybe the powers that be have designed these transfers to weed out the weak and if this is true, the transfer thus becomes a barometer by which YOUR abilities are to be assessed: will employee "X" be able to handle this change or crack under the pressure that comes with breaking in a new administrator? If the transfer is not necessarily something you wanted to see happen, then for self-preservation purposes it is most likely that you will have to do the best acting job of your life. Considering that you must maintain at least the appearance of strength and control you will choose to smile and say all the normal things you are expected to say like: "of course it will be odd to come into work everyday and see a STRANGER in your office", or perhaps you'll go with the old "this place will never be the same once you leave" , or the often used "that's great news I wish you all the best in your new location". You will never reveal what you are really thinking because that just wouldn't be professional would it? How bad would you look if you threw yourself at his/her knees and begged them to stay? How crazy would it sound if you said that you can't see how you will ever again feel as good about going to work as you do when he/she runs the show? You will simply have to get a grip and stop being so selfish. When you understand that your boss wants this transfer which brings him/her closer to home and family you will simply have to say "thanks": for all the years of generous leadership and unlimited support, for always trying to make things better, for affording us so many opportunities to learn and finally, you will say thanks for being our fearless leader.

The Resurrection

Numbers one and three have risen again so it's back to the mixed grab bag for our fearless dater. Number One however has undergone a name change and will from now on be known as Sparky, while Number Three retains her original moniker! How now will our dating hero make his ultimate decision? Will any bamboo be involved? It is hoped that he will be at least a bit cautious where Sparky is concerned, and more flexible with Number Three. For now the score is Sparky two points, won on Saturday, the universal date night, over dinner and a romantic stroll? which may just be a sign that the tides have turned and you are back in like Flynn, while Number Three waits patiently? for her day in the sun (and her points)not at all aware that she just may have already become one of the fish on the salmon run. Only time and the upcoming birthday will tell how she fares in her upstream battle. Will sparks fly on the 19th? Will green be the colour du jour? Stay tuned and Happy Birthday.

I'm Going Fishing!

After hearing the joys of fishing extolled via a myriad of descriptors which always seem to be male generated, ( "the gentlemen's sport " ) I have decided to see what all the fuss is about or if in fact there really is anything to make a fuss over. I have been advised by a near pro fisherman that I must have a license, so I have secured one and as I write, my waders, rod,(staff!!!!) net and tackle box stand at the ready by the front door, I am sooo prepared. I do have one minor concern; I love to talk, sometimes too much and I wonder if my fishing crew will be as happy to have me in the stern of the boat once we get there. I suspect it takes a special fisherman to smile when he finds himself in the middle of a small lake surrounded by schools of fish and perhaps too many syllables. My 'rockin' fishing hat is not only going to keep the harmful rays at bay, but it is sure to be the perfect showcase for the new fishing pins that I just HAD to have. I may even decide to design and market a line of semi precious fishing ornaments for those discerning fishing lovers who have seen the wisdom in maintaining a jewelry fund!!

A Bachelor Again? Still?

When considering your status it is always important to be as honest with yourself as you possibly can before you make any life changes or poor decisions. Spend some quality time with the new you, ALONE, and if after six months, or six weeks (depending on how much time you need to do it right) you really believe that you have succeeded in reinventing yourself then by all means go ahead and proclaim your bachelorhood for all to hear but you are advised to remember that it is not always enough to simply "like" yourself because that is not a guarantee that you are totally prepared. If however you enjoy your own company AND you are absolutely fine with "alone" time, then maybe you are ready. At this point, it will matter little whether Sparky or Number Three have designated you as a "keeper" because you will be the one who decides who, what, where, when and how which is certainly the best of all possibilities.

Father's Day Postscript

All (but one) of your chickens have flown the coop and the one that remains is on holiday so what's a dad to do for dad's day? You decide that two out of three ain't bad so you invite your hatchlings for an afternoon barbecue. You do a nice sized supermarket shop and squeeze in a ball game all before your children are due to arrive; you are oranized, not exactly a dad quality but then you are after all no ordinary dad, you are a dad against the grain. At the last minute you find out that your daughter misread her work schedule and had to be at work at the precise time the barbecue was to have begun while your son upon hearing that his sister was going to be a no show decided that he'd not be coming either. This is where your against the grainness kicked into high gear. Instead of feeling blue, getting "lips", and/or eating all the food yourself, you wisely decided to freeze the feast and postpone the celebration until all three of your babies are available. Most men would not be as flexible but because you are secure in the knowledge that your children so love you each and every day of the year, you can hold Father's Day whenever you like because for you, any/everyday is Father's Day.

Dad's Rules For Dating

It goes without saying that our father's rules for his daughters' dating lives differed greatly from what he expected of his sons. When my sister and I tried to gain some parity with our brothers, it was always a no go.


For Les Girls


1. No key to the house till you're 17 (Ring the bell, Dad will answer) (He mostly answered except for the times he slept so soundly he did not hear the bell)

2. Do not come home pregnant (this was an edict issued on a first date to an in house coed party when we were 12!)

3. No boys to call us on the phone after 8:00pm.

4. No going out with any boys who did not come to the front door to collect us

5. No dating at all before the prospective beau sat down for "the" chat in the tall backed 'interview' chair in the living-room

6. No dancing cheek to cheek especially at family celebrations or Dad would simply dance/follow you around the dance floor with Mom in his arms

7. No pdas.

8. Curfew ALWAYS non-negotiable

9. No make-up

10. No boys at home unless parents were there too

In later years one rule was added:

11. If after an interview Dad offered the young man in question a drink, and his offer was accepted, Dad served the drink and announced that the suitor was probably an alcoholic and therefore entirely unsuitable.


For Les Boys


1. Do you have your key?


2. Do you need the car?


3. Don't forget to fill up the tank if you do a lot of driving


4. Have fun and see you in the morning



Note to my brothers who found our rules quite humorous: It is very clear that Dad loved us more because he gave us way more rules and regs!






Happy Father's Day to the man who always kept us safe, WE were the luckiest.

Ten Things I Learned

When we are very young, our 'real' and 'true' education begins. (NOT the one at school!!) We learn many things from our parents (if we're lucky) long before we get to the "life" lessons that kick in in earnest almost as soon as we leave home. If you go way way back in time and try to compress all the lessons learned at parents' knees into a top ten list, the task will surely turn out to be a bit daunting to say the least, it did for me. I list ours here, in no particular order.

1. Family comes first, ALWAYS

2. LOVE
3. Don't ever lie to yourself

4. Find at least one hour in every twenty four, just for you
5. Don't be a quitter

6. You do not need a lot of friends and you are lucky if you have one GOOD one

7. Read Read Read, learn forever and always know what's going on in the world

8. Be kind and considerate, never selfish

9. Exercise Exercise Exercise: Play golf, tennis swim do archery, gymnastics, ski, (water and downhill )take Taekwondo, boxing, wrestling, roller and ice skate, toboggan, play basketball in the driveway, swim, lift weights, do push-ups, play ping-pong nightly etc.etc.

10. Always try your best and don't let anyone tell you that you can't

Dad, Not Just For Father's Day

Thirteen years ago last month our family lost its co-creator and although we had often heard/used that popular phrase, "time heals all etc.etc." thankfully, we never really had to test it out before. Suddenly the "allest" of wounds was upon us and we found ourselves clinging to the hope that time would indeed prevail and save us from the pain that we could not even fathom let alone discuss amongst ourselves on that day in 1995 and/or in the weeks, months and years that followed. We had been so well trained in the art of minimalism with regards to complaining or bemoaning any personally perceived injustice that we simply did not know how to deal with the gaping chasm that now seemed to be a permanent part of the fabric that made up our family. We had to learn how to be a different kind of family, and that took inordinate amounts of time and effort, not to master, just to be. Our family was like a rudderless ship, a vessel without its captain minus an anchor and though we are so blessed to have Mom our safe harbour, we found being witness to her loss almost too much to bear. Although I cannot pinpoint the specific year, I do remember the first time a 'Daddy' memory did not cause that desperate sense of loss that seemed to be my shadow everytime I thought of him, missed him, quoted him or tried to do things in a way that would have made him proud. I worried about Mom, my siblings and the grandchildren because as the eldest I thought that Dad would have expected no less of me. How I wondered could there still be that incredible drive within all of us to please a man who could no longer express the boundless joy and pride that he took in his family and their endeavours . We were driven to heal in the old school way, Dad's way, mostly on our own and with a hefty dash of stoicism to boot until that one day when surprisingly, we were able to talk about him again. It seemed that we had gotten all our memories back, and when that happened it was almost like having Dad back too. His birthdays were celebrated once more and Father's Day was no longer an occasion from which we felt excluded. Granted, no more ties, gloves, teeshirts, golf clubs, baseball caps, pajamas, pens, sweaters, bathrobes, socks, etc. were purchased for our father, but with each passing Father's Day we somehow got another tiny piece of him back. We remember that no one mattered more to him than we four, and I think we have managed to pass that on to our children. We remember how he would drop anything and everything if we needed him and today we are the same with his grandchildren. No one ever loved or believed in us more than Dad and now we stand firmly behind our sons and daughters encouraging and fully believing in them. I never looked for those unique qualities in anyone believing that when Dad was made they threw away the mold, but I was only partly correct because those qualities live and breathe in my three sibs, I just never really saw them until Dad was gone. As another Father's Day approaches, although I will forever miss my Daddy who claimed to be the "luckiest father in the whole world" I am so so grateful to Mom who said yes to a champion in life and love.

Being Naughty

Recently someone very close to me mentioned to me thay he had been "naughty" and unfortunately I knew exactly what he meant by those words. I asked if he had shared this revelation with his girlfriend of 3 years and naturally he had not. This is where my moral/ethics barometer kicked in and I found myself telling him that although what he does is his own business, the minute he forms a secret alliance with another woman who is aware of the existance of his girlfriend yet the girlfriend is totally in the dark about the OTHER woman, he is on the wrong path, no matter how you slice it. I think anyone can handle infidelity if and when they have to, and while it is always painful and never easy to deal with, at least the sense of betrayal would be somewhat less devastating when you are not a double recipient of deceit. There is no reason to add insult to injury by choosing to confide in the NEW (or sometimes rediscovered) paramour especially when you know deep down that there is only one person who deserves your total honesty, and that is ALWAYS the person who afforded you theirs, NEVER the one you have been "naughty" with.

The Letter

You receive a letter from someone you have not heard from in 37 years and the first thing you think is how odd that your address has not changed in these many years thus making it possible for that letter to reach you, what are the odds? Then you wonder why this person is SUDDENLY trying to get in touch. You have a return address but do not immediately sit down to pen a response; instead you ruminate a bit and try to locate the memories that are still somewhere in your head although truth be told you have not given this person so much as a thought in 37 years. You organize the memories and decide that it would be ok to write a brief note but you are cognizant of the fact that you do not feel like doing the big reveal so you compose a friendly but vague letter of your own. You really have no reason to suspect that the "letter" you received has any ulterior motives attached to it yet you are for some reason still reticent to say too much and I think that you are also not that curious to find out too much either. When is it that we get to be secretive with those who were once privy to our innermost thoughts? Is it self protection/preservation that impels us or something else entirely? When the memories are 95% good, perhaps the veil of secrecy should be pulled aside and if that is possible. then it just might be ok to re-find a long lost friend.

Friday Night Oudoor Jazz In The City

The plan is for the Three Amigos to take advantage of the free musical feast available downtown tonight. In theory, these seem like fine arrangements until we acknowledge the fatigue factor, that weekly mega dose of bone tiredness that nearly overwhelms us come the end of every work week. Add to that our intense dislike of crowds, a temperature of 32 degrees (without the humidex!) and you have the perfect blueprint for failed plans or....you could try the following. Go directly home to your A/C and after you've showered, settle down for a mini rest or a power nap. You'd be surprised at how well you can revive, and it may even be just enough to allow you to put your plans into effect after all. If you do it right not only will you be able to get out on a Friday night, but you will not spend the entire evening yawning and wondering how you allowed yourself to be lured away from home and comfy bed. The only problem that may arise is how to get back to sleep when you finally roll in in the wee wee hours after having had an amazing night with awesome friends. No cure for that as yet....

The Afterthought Phonecall

When you have been the victim of an uncermonious "kiss off" which was executed in a less than mannerly fashion, do you honestly think that the perpetrator deserves to have her case reopened and heard simply because she has phoned in a semi quasi remorseful toned "explanation"? What could the kissoffer possibly have to say that you might want to hear? It should be of no concern to you at all if the guilty party acted in haste and now that no one is knocking on her door, is rethinking? her actions. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to decide whether or not you will grant her so much as the time of day. You have a myriad of options available to you, and none of them include rehashing a lousy and less than honest goodbye. You might consider revisiting Number 2 who you lost in the winnowing process, but whose honesty quotient is just where you'd like it to be, or you may choose to become the consummate fisherman which just may be the best way to go. This would entail forgetting about everyone who was a part of this "fishing" expedition, going to a sporting goods store to buy the latest fishing gear, making sure the bait is in its prime, renting a seaworthy craft and going fishing again!

Home On The Range

After having been part of a family and living with parents, siblings, children, husbands and/or wives FOREVER, if you suddenly find yourself on your own you will most likely fall into one of the following two categories; you will either be pretty comfortable with yourself and therefore happy on your own, or you will no longer know who you are and this will result in your never wanting to go "home" because you do not think that you are great company for yourself. Instead of connecting all your inner dots you become a master procrastinator. You may go out to a pub near where you work and end up staying until last call, you might go to a dance club and and before the night is over you're enrolling in a weekly class, perhaps you attend innumerable baseball games and don't leave till the clean up crew comes in to "sweep" the diamond or worst of all you turn into a digruntled then disillusioned serial dater. Instead of all this frenzied activity and too many late nights, why not just bite the bullet and spend some time solo, start getting to know the person that you have become . You might be surprised to discover that you are excellent company for yourself and when you do, you will come to understand that contrary to what you thought, being alone does not have to mean being lonely. You will see why living on your own in a cozy happy nest that you have feathered, is an awesome place to be because it's your home, whether or not it's on the range!

Don't Be Led Down The Garden Path By The Wrong Person

Just when you figure that you have a handle on the dating thing and you believe that you are on the verge of a new relationship, you find that you are in reality on the precipice of a break up even before you get out of the gate. I am not certain, but I suspect that you would have avoided this unsavoury episode had you mastered your "guide" and taken from it all that you needed. It is probably true that as a proactive measure, the guide should never leave your side in order for you to reap its full benefits for those 'just in case moments' that have a way of appearing when we least expect them. For now, you can only wonder how it is that you missed the tangling vines and weeds as you strolled down the path and perhaps question how you missed the lessons demonstrated by Alice when she followed the Mad Hatter!

Yoga For Seniors At Night (DMN)

Long ago I was introduced to yoga and while initially the thought of becoming the requisite contortionist did not appeal much, I did manage to stick with it for about a year and always assumed that at some point later on, I'd return to once again twist myself into various versions of a pretzel because it was after all good exercise. Now, many moons later I went to see a class demonstration for seniors fully expecting a room full of peppy over 60 yoga wannabes in any number of ackward positions but I was way off the mark. The room was calm and quiet, radiating a low low low energy which was actually just a step above comatose. Nobody had broken a sweat (a total anomaly in a "regular" yoga class) and there was absolutely no moaning and groaning (another yoga anomaly). This is perhaps due to the fact that there was barely any movement at all unless you count the airy wide circled waving in the air of 48 arms. Each of the 24 people had their little yoga mats and hand towels but the hand towels were being used as pillows strategically placed under graying heads as their owners tried first to bend their knees (post replacement?) then extend their legs. (this looked nothing like the leg extensions I have known but did look a lot like stretching out and preparing to go to sleep) Eyes were closed and once the waving and knee bending stopped, and if the faint chanting in the background could be ignored, the room took on the definite appearance of a retirement home dormitory in the middle of the night. Yoga for seniors at night is just like a hot toddy!

Saturday Night In The City

You do not fit into the "date night in the city" slot and your alternative options might include watching the hockey final, going to a Yoga class for seniors or doing laundry so when an unexpected invitation to BINGO arrives you find yourself actually considering accepting, it's not as if you were up for scintillating conversation anyway, so why not?? You manage to get to the hall, purchase a dabber, get your stack of game sheets and find a spot all before the 2nd number has been called. For the next 2 hours or so you find yourself in a dabbing frenzy, grateful for both the loudspeakers and clear voices of the callers. You may even fantasize about winning the $4000.00 pot, but for the mostpart you become part of an eclectic crowd who knows just what it is doing. If people watching is for you, then make tracks for your local Bingo hall which is sure to offer all ages, all sizes and shapes and an incredible variety of personalities some of whom invariably end up at your table. You will be pleased with the small snack bar that offers everything from a Philly steak special for a mere $6.50 to a small cheesburger for only $2.62. You can certainly eat, drink and be merry for the same price as a movie, and never feel that on Saturday night, you are out of the loop.

For B.D.L.

When we get old enough to marry and start our families we may think we have become adults but at some point we recognize that to our parents even many moons after we have made them grandparents, we remain children.



You know that you are more or less all grown up when your perceptions undergo a radical shift and you find yourself more concerned with the type of daughter you are than the type of father your dad is. There is a silent starting line that you cross where the daughtering begins in earnest and this allows for your father to become more of a friend and less of a parent while stiill remaining "Dad". The propriety parameters once so distinguishable, change into blurred shadows so that you are never again simply daughter and dad. Your relationship grows on so many levels that although you may look back and be lucky enough to say unequivocably that you had the best dad growing up, you know that what you recall is only one dimensional when compared to what you have had these past years. Who could have predicted that aside from your other half, you would be able to call your father your best friend? One day you will see that you will forever have this special bond and that neither absence nor time will ever be able to break it: when you do, you will finally know what your dad knows and has always known; he has the best daughter/friend.

The First Sleep Over

You have been waiting for this moment since your first meeting and now that the invite has come, it is interesting to note how you really feel on the eve of this momentous occasion; flattered that an invitation has been received, relieved that you are in fact in a canoe and not alone in a kayak, a bit nervous, but a good kind of nervous and most definitely optimistic. What you know for certain is that you will not be driving all the way back from Waterloo tomorrow night and that alone has the power to lift your spirits . Now might be a good time to perhaps check into the condition of your sleepover attire. You must be sure that what gets packed into your oh so discreet weekender is in pristine condition. Crisp cotton pajamas must make an appearance even though you are used to sleeping in less 'formal' garb..( you are saving on a hotel so in the absence of the required 200 thread count pajamas, spring for a pair as you know this is an excellent investment) bathrobe has to be soft, fuzzy, cozy and clean, the same criteria applies to the slippers. ( remember to leave the 'orthotics' in your shoes and not transfer them to your slippers!) Your toothbrush should be new and your hairbrush clean. You must remember to audibly close the door behind you after saying goodnight to be sure you are perceived as appreciative, trustworthy and honourable. You should make every effort not to snore and/or do anything noisy that could prevent a second invitation from being extended.

Number Three Bites The Dust

After an auspicious beginning our valiant dating warrior has narrowed the field and decided to stick with Number One. It can't have been easy to give Number Three the gate but truth be told, if one is to be at all honourable, it had to be done. When considering a relationship it is always wise to assess the growth potential in order to get a truer vision of how things might unfold were you to pursue this avenue....other peoples children can be a sticky point, so you need to decide; you either want them or you don't and the faster you make up your mind, the better, before things go too far and you are like Hansel and Gretel lost without a way back. The kindest way is to shower her with praise and to voice your admiration for how devoted she is as a parent. Then you should remind her -from your own personal experience of course- of how time consuming this matter of single parenting can be making sure to embelish the facts so that even a blind person would clearly see that you are not into it even for the short haul.. If all that she does for her family is deemed so much more important than beginning a relationship with you, she will come away from the "kiss off" meeting feeling only good about herself and you have successfully extricated yourself from a probable disaster with nary a trace of scar tissue!

Second Job

Despite the fact that you have a full time job and no monumental financial woes, you might be interested in a second form of employ provided that it is nothing at all like your first. To broaden your scope and keep you from getting stale, second jobs although they tend to pay considerably less, are perhaps just what the doctor ordered. You get to interact with new people and as such your working environment is akin to being on a honeymoon where everything is new and you are not yet jaded. You are on your best behaviour with an eye toward appearing both interesting and interested so your productivity rate is elevated and your attitude positive.....for the mostpart. You do things at job number two that are almost diametrically opposed to what comprises your daily routine in job number one so that the usual workplace ennui doen't get a chance to surface. This second job is all well and good in the beginning but can become problematic with the passing of time. You will know that the time has come to look into giving your notice when job number two begins to feel like job number one on a really bad day; when your "new" co-workers pull ahead in the 'hard to get along with' race and stop being fun; when your 'new' boss starts to look like your old boss only with bigger horns; when the commute ceases to be an adventure in seeing the big city and turns out to be too time consuming and the new dress code offends your sense of individuality. The second job is like an interlude and while you are free to try it on, you must know that it is almost always temporary. You will be certain that it is over when your everyday colleagues, the same ones you complain bitterly about, start to look good and when you decide that it might be nice to sleep until 9:00 at least one day a week!

Surprise 50th

When planning a milestone birthday for that someone special in your life, why not forgo the old, stuffy, tried and true usual venues and/or the new "trendy" venues where one upmanship and innane gimmicks can easily cause you to lose sight of the essential reasons for the celebration. Go for a surprise party complete with a marching band, balloons and all the trimmings. Granted, this may sound too simple but consider the FUN quotient as you and your guests get to dress up and become the members of the band. Aside from the satisfaction you will derive from seeing Birthday Boy's genuine surprise, you get to fulfill your dream of becoming a performer! There is no intimacy in a restaurant party where you are pretty well stuck between and opposite the same small group all evening, and how many trips can you take to the restroom without people catching on to the fact that in your opinion the conversation has either dried up like a raisin in the sun with no chance of revival or your hearing loss has kicked in? Far better to surprise Birthday Boy at work when he least expects a throng of his nearest and dearest to cross the threshold of his store marching to their own beat bearing great bunches of helium balloons, the de rigeur gourmet food platters, a touch of bubbly and caring little for any innocent customers who get in the way. Happy 50th Mr. R.

You Were Wrong To Delay

It is always a pleasant surprise when you find out that doing something you were certain held no appeal whatsoever, is in fact not the ordeal you had been dreading. What can be even more surprising is how unbeknownst to you, your opinion has shifted to such a degree that once you actually get to it, you derive pleasure from what you had previously shifed to the back burner. Writing a blog can certainly cause feelings of trepidation but only around the areas of subject matter and content because of course you never really doubt your ability to express youreslf much do you? As daunting as writing a daily blog can be, once you find your rhythm it becomes less frightening whereas if you do the occasional piece of writing but have signed on for a certain number of postings you become the King/Queen of excuses; not today, too tired, no great ideas, cat has worms, first day of the soccer season, hot weekend date, tickets for the theatre, new restaurant to try or the old standby, my computer is in the shop! (mine REALLY is in the shop) Writing affords you the luxury of small forays into your past and allows you on some mysterious level to relive a moment that you have not thought about in eons, a moment that shines and whose brilliance you would not be seeing again anytime soon were it not for the writing. For me, this is enough of a reason to write as often as I can.

Fondue??? ( D.N. )

Just in case you see the error of your ways insofar as forbidden fruit goes, you might consider joining forces with an honest chocolate lover who has learned the art of moderation. The best possible combination is a fondue of formerly forbidden fruit (before it reaches its expiration date of course) and chocolate, but obviously not just any chocolate, you must never settle for anything less than the top of the line with the highest percentage of cocoa. If you choose fondue in a timely manner, you might be able to legitimize your operation before drastic measures are required and you have no choice but to enter the Witness Protection Program. I leave you with only one cautionary note; no double dipping!!!!Happy Victoria Day.

How To Hide Your Stash Of Forbidden Fruit, Chocolate, etc.etc.

Everyone has at least something to hide but more often than not there are things that we need to be hiding from ourselves. For a variety of reasons, hiding can be and often is an excellent means of self-preservation. We can hide how we really look when we see ourselves in the mirror with an affirming statement such as, " gee I look pretty good for a 64 year old!" We can hide how annoying we find certain colleagues by saying that we are lucky to work with people "most" of whom are positive forces in our work places. We can choose to hide our heads in the sand and not see the disturbing qualities -that seem to multiply with time- in certain family members and friends. We can hide our fears by working on our bravado skills until we really are not as afraid as we once were. We can hide just about anything from anyone and depending on the level of our hiding prowess, we can be really good at it. The trick though, is to hide and not seek if you want the ultimate hiding experience. Let's say that you love chocolate and although you should lower your consumption rate, you are lacking in the willpower department. You can always stash your chocolate as you would your forbidden fruit. The crucial difference between the chocolate and the fruit is that you must not seek out the chocolate in the willy nilly manner that you seek out the fruit. You will have to develop an honour system where chocolate is concerned-this is clearly not a possible option for your forbidden fruit- You need to determine just how much of the chocolate is truly necessary and after you have come up with a consumption schedule you can hide that chocolate safe in the knowledge that you are now on the road to becoming less self absorbed and more sensible in your dalliances with cocoa. As for the forbidden fruit, so far it has been proven that hidden away fruit is perishable and goes bad a lot faster than properly refrigerated fruit which can and should be left out in the open not only because it has nothing to hide.

For Mother's Day Sunday May 11, 2008

When I was a little girl I knew that I wanted to grow up and become a mommy, but in the blissful ignorance of childhood I had no idea what that would entail beyond the requisite adorable bundles of babies that I was so sure I wanted. I clearly gave no thought to actually "having" those babies but I did see myself with fluffy haired wide-eyed cherubs wrapped snugly in soft flannel blankets in tones of pale pastel. I gave no thought to raising these perfect angels but I did see myself bottle feeding my babies (clearly I had no knowledge of breast feeding and its obvious benefits) and making them even fluffier as they lay in their bassinets. I never saw MY babies crying, with diapers that needed changing. I never saw MY babies with colic, they were always smiling..and no it wasn't gas!! I never saw MY babies suffering from the terrible twos. By the same token I never saw MY angst on their first day of school anymore than I saw it when they were finishing school, moving out and leaving their mom behind. I never saw MY babies grown and self-sufficient making their way in the world on their own without their mom pushing them in a pram or leading them by the hand. I always knew that I wanted four children because I was one of four, and after having two miracles, I ended up having three more come into my life. Though I got to help raise them all for a fair amount of time, in what seems like the blink of an eye, all of them have flown away from the nest. I never knew that mom time would pass so quickly. My mom is the greatest mom ever and I didn't even try to be like her because I knew it would not be possible. I never understood it when my mother and father would say that their time with us had sped by much too quickly because although we thought they were the perfect parents, we four couldn't wait to grow up and leave home. Today it all feels like a near perfect circle. The babies are no longer babies but this mom remains a mom albeit a different one. Older, still learning the tricks of the trade and somewhere inside is a very happy little girl whose dreams of becoming a mommy came true.