When I was much much younger and my innate sense of competition was at its peak, I thought nothing of challenging myself in many unfamiliar arenas and was never in any way concerned that I might possibly fall from my lofty perch atop that proverbial branch. I liken my total disregard for possible failure as a byproduct of youth and parenting; I was an exteremy cocky young person who had been raised to KNOW that maximum effort would breed maximum gain.
Not to sound smug or to rest on my laurels, I must confess to achieving whatever it was I set out to do which as we all know, does wonders for the confidence quotient. The years passed without me taking stock of exactly how challenging my life has been yet today it is only as I glance back (better than peering intensely back!) that I am able to recognize that the youthful cocky me has at some point been replaced with an older version that just might be reticent when it comes to challenges and or new things beyond the 'senior' comfort zone. Clearly this does not please me and while I may rage against the injustice that time has (supposedly) wrought ( silently or at high do as needed) within the confines of my own mind, if I were being true to myself I would have to take the blame for allowing the passing years to whittle away what once was as natural as breathing; my sense of adventure, discovery,mind growing, and a veritable cornucopia of things too numerous to list here. The question now is can I begin a sort of backwards march away from the abyss and back towards the core where things are new again, ever-changing and growth is sure to occur.
I am thinking yes, but at the same time considering a 'maybe' panic button.
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