Eating In Bed

At some point in time, all parents teach their children not to eat in bed, and this teaching usually begins once the bottle stage has passed. This is also probably baby's first exposure to the fickle authority of the parental units who initially were fully supportive of in crib meals that were liquid and dispensed via sterilized drinking vessels... (baby bottles) Unsuspecting Baby hasn't been around long enough to have twigged in to the fact that eating/drinking in bed is only allowed for that brief period of time when it is convenient not so much for baby but for Mom and Dad who profit from this cribside service by getting to spend a bit longer in their own beds. The switch from permissive to prohibitive where in bed eating is concerned is not unlike mach speed and babies grow, never quite understanding how languishing 'acrib' could have turned so quickly into being strapped into a highchair in the upright position. The erstwhile pleasant 'laissez faire' style of eating is now rife with rigidity and from toddlers to teens mealtimes seem to be all about discipline. Eating and drinking has evolved into a series of more unwavering rules then a new army recruit can expect. T.V. tables set out in front of the sofa notwithstanding, all food must be consumed while seated on a chair in either the kitchen or dining room, and good manners are non negotiable. Where does this leave those who have never quite gotten over the shock of no longer eating/drinking in bed? It leaves them longing for a return to the cradle of course, where they felt peaceful and entitled to enjoy their consumption of choice. Some groups of people have managed to bend the rules and have found it possible to reintroduce eating in bed. The first group is the passive agressive in bed eater who selects one fruit each night before going to sleep. They know they cannot engage in any repast that will result in even the slightest bit of muss or fuss so they never choose grapefruit, oranges, cherries, watermelon or other juicy treats, more often than not they go for the banana which is duly peeled in the kitchen leaving no debris, and if they are slightly daring they may go for an apple but that means there is always that telltale kleenex folded over by the bed and this of course contains the pips, core and an occasional stem. Let's call the next group the Romantics. They simply invest in a beautiful wicker breakfast tray and voila! They eat croissants and jam while drinking their Tassimo Lattes or Bodem press and the tray catches any and all crumbs. The final group is the largest by far. Pregnant women who suffer from morning sickness don't even bother with the tray pretense. They use the common knowledge that crackers alleviate this nasty condition, and simply keep a box of Saltines on their night table. This works out quite well because the box is easy to reach and they are way too queasy to worry about catching any of the crumbs. Eating in bed is actually an excellent and much needed way to return to those lofty days of yore.