A Tourist In Miami

If you are under 60 years of age (terrific random digit don't you think??) and happen to find yourself visiting Miami Beach,
please be aware of the following: 1. Everyone drives very large cars
2. Most restaurants are fully booked by 5:00pm
3. Golf carts abound

It is a well known fact that people tend to shrink in stature as they grow in age so it makes more sense to them to drive the largest automobile they can get, there is clearly something about the sheer size of the vehicle that seems to lull them into a false sense of height; of course it's best not to tell them how they really look to us as we drive behind them; little heads that can barely be seen above the headrest.
Golden agers as a group become more cautious regarding their entertainment expenses and while they do not wish to waste money they also do not want to deprive themselves of the social outings that are integral to their social sense of well being so restauranteurs have created something called the Early Bird Special; this is actually a stroke of entrepreneurial genius. Seniors continue to gather en masse for resto dinners but they do their congregating at 5:00pm. This entitles them to meals from the regular menu at a reduced price. Clearly a win win situation because the golden agers get to go out and be home in time by 8:30pm for their nightly dose of t.v. and all this allows eating establishments to clean up and prepare for the real/average dining times of 7:00pm and onward. The staff doesn't mind this extra work in view of the increased pay/tips that an entirely new dinner shift will bring. Everyone knows that seniors have a 'thing' about condo living and how better to enhance this living experience than by introducing the senior condo special; the golfcart! This handy dandy little moving device is easy to hop on and off even with walkers, canes and assorted shopping bags. Before it became the new standard mode of transportation from the car to the elevator, the golfcart was relegated to golf course use by players and tournament officials. Thanks to the boomers who have joined the ranks of the largest retirement contingency in history, the cart has a brand new life. Just think of the gleeful handrubbing that goes on behind closed doors in executive meetings at the manufacturing plants as they do the happy increased productivity dance while counting their dividend cheques.
Once you stop feeling like a voyeur into Miami's special senior strata and if you can ward off the panic that seems to well up as you project yourself into this category (time waits for no man) you can relax, sit back in your Muskoka chair and enjoy being a tourist in Miami.