Shift Work

Although we know that envy is not an admirable charater trait, sometimes we just can't seem to help ourselves. How many couples do you wish you could trade places with because as you see it, they look soooo happy ALL the time!? You probably go through many different mood swings as you ponder this anomoly; you begin the "disbelief" phase by not quite believing that any couple could be THAT happy and then you move on to the wondering phase. You wonder why your girlfriend or boyfriend can't be as attentive, handsome, beautiful, talented. funny, and unabashedly brave about sharing each and every part of their lives with you! Next comes the"red" phase wherein you are surprisingly overcome by a pure and unadulterated feeling of envy which begins when you start looking to find fault with the "dream team" and find it you do. Strangely though, finding imperfection doesn't make you envy less or feel better about what you think you are missing, While you lament all those things that you see as minuses in your own relationship when you compare it to that of the "model" couple, raely do you ever really glean sufficient "inside" info to make any kind of an accurate or valid judgement. You never learn for example that "he" works the night shift from 7:00pm till 2:00am. You never learn that "she wakes up to hear about his work"day" and as he falls asleep, she prepares to leave for her early morning shift. When he wakes up to prepare for his night job, she is on the subway en route to her second job. When she finally gets home just before midnight, there is no one there to greet her or to ask about her day, and so it goes until that one day in the week when if the stars are properly aligned, they both have the same day off. That one day is always more difficult than easy and usually entails housecleaning, shopping, banking, and any number of assorted tasks that are relegated to the back burner during the rest of their hectic work week. If they do manage to muster up some energy, they will on occasion venture forth which is where you spot them, the PERFECT couple. so happy and seemingly carefree. You don't see how tired they are and you never see them displaying anything but contentment to be in each other's company. You see what you fear you will never have, and you are envious.. You wish you could be that couple! Whenever those uninvited feelings of angst begin to settle over you like a shroud, there is a perfect and highly effective antidote available.... get jobs that offer shift work. To maximize your odds of success, make sure that you are always on opposite shifts and almost never have more than one common day off together. There is of course always the option of finding yourself a musician or an on call obstetrician because both of these professions will afford you endless nights, weekends and statutory holidays where you are sure to find yourself alone. If you follow this simple plan, I promise that you will slay the "envy" dragon, faster than a speeding bullet!