Punctuality

I wonder how it is that on any given occasion when I have attended live musical or theatrical productions, no matter the venue, latecomers have always been quietly and efficiently seated even after the event had begun, yet when I try to enter the auditorium mere minutes after the start of a play being performed at a local high school, I am faced with locked doors and no possibility of entry. The locked doors are indicative of the militant stance of a group of high school teachers who have devloped a highly effective method for teaching hard core punctuality. You have to look beyond their present limited scope and see them for perhaps the true visionaries that they will turn out to be. I can see the future headlines: Local opera adopts new punctuality clause purchased from the High School Teachers Consortium. This will enable the Opera Co. to exercise any number of punitive options when deciding not to allow people in during THE main event! These could range from the simple door lock to a full fledged "door block" which would entail large (burly) men in elaborate costume (to match the scenery of course) holding "real" spears, to block all entrances while the opera is in progress. You might also come to find a group of large powerful Katrinkas who stand on guard by the doors using their enormous hats to camouflage the doorways leading into the theatre. As for the ballet, the perfect punishment for not being on time might just be as simple as several men in tutus standing outside the entrances offering compulsory ballet lessons to all offenders. While I am reluctant to say that rigid discipline is adviseable as a solution to changing bad habits, I must confess that those anal high school teachers who kept me from seeing Ophelia might have solved the dilemma of how to make everyone punctual.