Les Truffes!

What a revelation- in our local open air market- to find a small booth featuring vegetables far removed from normal grocery store fare. Along the two narrow aisles are several baskets bursting with vibrant colour which display any number of unfamiliar looking, hydraponic, organic and sometimes ugly vegetables and/or roots. Many of these shall remain nameless because the plans we'd made for a brief walkabout with the stand operator flew right out of our minds when we found ourselves face to face with a small basket (about a quarter full) of truffles! At first glance all we could see was a black asymmetrical mass made up of what appeared to be earthen covered blobs which while they varied in size did not vary in ugliness. Truly the worst looking "veg"? in the place yet absolutely the most exotic and beyond a doubt the most expensive. After we had agreed that these were in fact the real deal, we were understandably overjoyed as well as totally surprised at our find. Then something strange happened to us and we morphed into truffle 'hiders' as we tried to keep anyone else from noticing this treasure trove in a basket. We actually "stood guard" shielding them from view and protecting those ugly truffles as we tried to calculate how many if any of the miniscule blobs we could afford because there was no question about us ever being able to manage paying for one of the larger ones. We ended up buying two teeny truffles and watched the man wrap them as if they were precious pieces of Murano glass being readied for air transport. On the way home we stopped at our neighbourhood Italian restaurant and turned one of the truffles over to the chef who kindly agreed to add it to our favourite pasta dish. There are no adequate descriptors to let you know how amazing the meal was. On Sunday night we arrived at a friends' home for an anniversary dinner and instead of the de rigeur bottle of wine, box of chocolates or bunch of flowers, we offered our hosts a little earthy truffle. Not as expensive as a bottle of Cristal but so much better and more appreciated.

Gone Fishing

There appears to be a parallel link between online dating and fishing yet despite many similarities, if you think about it, fishing is probably easier as well as more efficient. You go fishing and you are in the great outdoors not stuck at home in front of your computer. You go fishing and get to reel in any fish that bites. YOU get to decide if that particular fish is a keeper without any of the double talk or false representation that you surely would have had to put up with online. If you've decided that a particular fish is not for you, all that is required is that you dump it back into the lake. Unlike online, you do not need to fret about causing the jettisoned fish any feelings of rejection, it's the cleanest kindest "no thank you" there is and as yet there us nothing like it when it comes to getting rid of an online wannabe. When you go fishing there are no videocams so a bad hair day is a non-issue and you'll not be reproached by any fish for the sloppy way you are dressed or for your 1920 waders. You do not need to hide behind a cyber false identity when you go fishing, you can be your true self and know that you will only be judged on your hunting prowess not the amount of university degrees you hold or the work you do. You get to fish in a group or alone and again unlike online, no negative comments will be made regarding your choice. I think that the best part of fishng is that you get to be quiet. You do not need to type a million fancy words a minute and even better is the fact that you really do not have to listen. If we are honest, we'd have to admit that fishing beats online hands down!!

Take Me Out To The Ball Game

Whenever trying to enhance the at times oppressive atmosphere of your work place and in an effort to team build, what better way than to have a "night out" at the local stadium for a rousing spectator sport experience. Hire a bus, invite any and all co-workers with significant others and extended family members, simply board the happy yellow bus and off you go for what will definitely prove to be a memorable time. Of course while your intentions are pretty honourable (though you do confess to being a bit of a sportsaholic) you still have to do a fair amount of promotion if your idea is to fly, besides which you need to reach the necessary magic number to be able to hire that school bus at a reasonable rate. You must then make a seating plan for the game itself ensuring that nobody is placed beside a person that they are not overly fond of which is quite a challenge even though you deal with this type of issue on a daily basis and it is one of the reasons you've decided to take on planning this excursion. You can only hope that once all is said and done, nothing goes awry; you pray that no one gets lost in the crowd and that the collective behaviour of the group is in no way an embarrassment to your company. If all this is in place then you can count on a good time being had by all.

Feedback

All self-help gurus advise us to seek feedback in instances when there is a negative end to an interview and we have not been selected for a position we had applied for. This appears to be easier said than done and the masses usually take the rejection and move on to the next without ever asking what they might have been able to do differently that could have resulted in a different outcome. It occurs to me that the power of feedback is such that it should be encouraged in most situations where we seek to ensure positive rather than negative outcomes. Having a handle on self-improvement is indeed an empowering thing and wherever possible we should be brave enough to request feedback because although it can sometimes make for difficult listening, it is sure to enrich most of our future endeavours both within and without the working milieu. How cool would it be to ask for feedback in the dating arena? Just suppose that you meet someone with whom you are contemplating a relationship and while there are those starter flames, for some inexplicable reason they flicker and extinguish before you get to see the fire. Instead of hearing that you two are probably not a "fit" and letting things go, you'd be best advised not to go quietly and or gently into the night but to ask for "feedback"! If you do, you'll know if the "fit" is there the next time you see sparks fly.

Fads, Passe Fads, and Followers

Everyone likes to think of themselves as having at least a few individual qualities that make them unique, unlike anyone else. How then do we explain the incredible power of the "FAD" which turns all of us at some point or other from the individuals we pride ourselves on being, into bumbling followers suddenly intent on emulating either another person or something we consider worth aping that that other person does. We unilaterally give up all potential creativity as we are starstruck by the "latest" FAD and we just cannot let it race by without jumping on the bandwagon no matter how fast, jerky or short-lived the ride. Being a follower is not necessarily one of those admirable traits therefore, increasingly, people have chosen to keep the fact that they are followers under wraps. This is done easily enough by allowing the bandwagon to run it's course and then just as it returns from a public run of several successful months and is about to settle into the old bandwagon parking lot for has-been fads, these followers jump on! You might argue that if the fad is past its prime the follower is not a follower, but I believe that a follower is a follower even once removed. The only thing missing and this is what essentially differentiates between the two types of followers is the manic vs laconic speed with which they follow. Following is a multi-level action and in the future when using the word, certain qualifiers will have to be included to ensure the correct meaning has been represented. We all remember that way back fad called scrapbooking and almost all of us have been in homes whose bookshelves and coffee tables house a wide array of these "masterpieces" which were put together LOVINGLY by the scrapbooking fad followers, and while I thought I'd heard the last of this one particular fad, I was wrong. The snail followers have jumped on the scrapbooking bandwagon and are now in the throes of a true fad resurrection so I guess we'll just have to make more room on those shelves because after all even if you are not a follower you can't totally fight a fad!!

Insomnia

Why is it that sleep is never elusive when one is on holiday but get to the night before you return to work and your brain decides that sleep is NOT for you! Furthermore you are kept awake by a myriad of thoughts that fly through your brain at the speed of mach one. There appears to be no point in trying to slow down the process or endeavouring to clear your head because somehow you just know that most of your efforts in those arenas would turn out to be for naught. You actually do have two or three choices but these involve elements of luck and talent and none are foolproof. If you choose the medicated path and elect to pop a few or imbibe some magical sleeping potion you must remember that the wake up is foggy and in fact the whole day could be a definite drag as you suffer the long term effects of ' les somnombules'. You might try a normal?? drink, whichever tempts you from Port to warm milk keeping in mind that the former is probably the more effective if you are under the age of 65. Personally I think that warm milk is a seniors placebo. You might be best off writing down any disturbing thoughts you might have swirling about in your mind as these are without a doubt formidable detriments to your getting a satisfying and restful sleep. Finally, you may consider a journal or a blog and quite possibly these options will turn out to be the most cathartic and sleep inducing of all the choices available in order to help you to help yourself. Bonne Nuit???

Monday In The Park With Fred????

A cool sunny holiday Monday is the ideal day to take a meandering stroll through a beautiful wooded park with a new someone whose smile shines as brightly as the sun. You do not know where the walk will lead but you set off down the path anyway hopeful that you have chosen the perfect ambulating companion. If you have been able to reign in your old ways you will succeed in not jumping the gun and will start (if you are meant to start) only when the pistol shot is heard and not a moment before. This will allow you to "walk" in the moment free of plotting and unnecessary committment which pretty much guarantees a perfect trip down the lane with nary a hidden agenda in sight. In fact if you have chosen wisely not only will your heart be protected, but you will avoid the pitfalls of ill advised "rush" decisions and enjoy your afternoon as it was meant to be enjoyed.

Gossip and Other Slurs

Too often we hear people (unfortunately usually women) say things about others and do nothing by way of making them accountable for the heresay that they seem to thrive on spreading as far as the mouth can infect. We listen, we even tell others what we have "heard" making us links in the unbroken telephone chain that is so much more onerous than that old childhood game of a similar name. When we reflect on what we should have done, we are usually filled with remorse for not having taken action to thwart the advance of the rumour and as we all know, hindsight is perfect. The best plan is perhaps to have a plan in place that you can summon whenever the "occasion" arises and arise it will as long as people have big mouths. Gossip mongers are not to be confronted head to head as they tend to be dangerous so it is a much better idea to appear to be proferring advice to HELP them curb their rumour spreading ways thus taking an offensive rather than a defensive stance. I recently told a notorious gossiper that I was afraid people might label her a total fool if she continued to spread utterly unfounded stories, and she was at a loss for words when faced with a non agressive statement which appeared to her to be an instance of my honest attempt to save her from herself. I told her that I was sure she did not want to have her image defined as a spreader of uncorroborated nonsense and I must say it felt great to listen to her scramble and backpaddle to distance herself from what she had been spewing as of late. I discussed the probability that as a result of her indiscriminate gossiping, she has lost all credibility and I basically let her understand that she had no recourse but to cease and desist as she needs to focus all her energy on beginning the arduous task of rebuilding HER reputation! This woman is total poison but I have no feelings of remorse. I did what I should have done many times before and it feels great. Try it!!!

Face To Face Or The Net?

The club is dimly lit, you enter alone, you spot the trio on the small stage in the far corner and what you hear is most definitely music to your ears. You have decided not to spend another night alone at home and not to sit at your computer looking for company online; this is how you come to be shown to a small cozy table in a Blues club. From somewhere deep inside, you have gained the courage to venture forth on your own and you are looking forward to having music surround you instead of silence or t.v. babble. You quickly forget that you are solo and you begin to feel as one within the small crowd of live music lovers. The truth is that you did not go out looking to meet anyone so you are quite surprised to actually become involved in a conversation with someone who is both attractive and intelligent who like you, loves to listen to your favourite kind of music. The evening flies by on the wings of interesting conversation and terrific music so that in the end you are convinced that your decision to take yourself out for a night on the town was the right one. Certainly this was the better option, and had you stayed home on the net, you probably wouldn't have been given that telephone number, at least not YET!!

Oh Baby!

For the unborn child nothing can be more off-putting than having its mother to be talking at the highest decibel possible. It is odd that with all the research available, modern moms to be believe that the only way their unhatched darlings can hear them or the music they play (for them alone???)is if the sound bites are at full volume. Long ago moms to be would softly sing or hum to their unborn children and the in utero listening experience was always a pleasure, but todays hatchlings are not blessed with parents to be who display any kind of intuition insofar as what their babes would like or enjoy. It is almost as if they NEED to hear their own voices in order to be convinced that baby hears them too. This creates difficulty for all extended family members as well for they are the unwitting and suffering bystanders who must somehow continuously adjust the television volume in order to hear only partial commentary of a hockey game or only half the punchlines during their favourite sitcoms so disruptive is the mommy babble. The new moms to be are the disc jockeys of the only radio? station that is available to their children and they have the exclusive rights to say and play what they want. This of course means that there is no variety available for these babies and the unfortunate reality is that today more children are born with difficulties in focussing. Can you really blame them if they opt to tune out? What remains to be seen is how other family members choose to deal with this increasingly difficult situation.

Happy Belated Birthday

For as long as I can recall there has been a stigma attached to late birthday greetings and we would make superhuman efforts to be on time with our wishes even going so far as to get that telephone call in by 11:59pm. Heaven forbid we "forget" to wish our nearest and dearest all that they deserve and expect to be wished on their special day. If we are by some ill stroke of luck, late, we are sure to have to endure at least one if not all of the following and then some: silent reproaches, phony toned "that's ok, so you forgot" or "birthdays aren't that important to me anyway" or how about the sad sack " I know how busy you are and so I NEVER expected you to find the time to call me" etc. etc. Anyway you slice it, none of the myriad of alternatives to being a punctual bday greeter are the slightest bit attractive yet as we age the excellent memory we were once so cavalier about is simply no longer evident when it comes to remembering certain important dates, in fact it seems that the first thing to fall away from our memory is the all important family/special friend birthday. We can certainly try the old calendar reminders but more often than not we fail to glance at our calendars so that isn't even close to foolproof. Today in the age where there is a plethora of electronics that beep and speak "important" messages we should be able to mask our ageing memories and come off looking like the true caring folks we are. It is adviseable that after the age of fifty, everyone should have a Blackberry or a reasonable facsimile thereof and there are already many provinces which offer partial funding for the gray haired group.. In fact there are even some insurance companies that promise premium rebates if the policy holders own one of these. They of course program in their payment schedules first, then you input the birthdays....

The Check Up

Everyone has to make visits to medical professionals that they do not look forward to, in fact it can be said that some of these appointments fill us with dread. This is no reflection on the doctors who hopefully never realize just how little we anticipate our monthly/yearly/weekly visits.Whenever possible it is perhaps a wise move to plan these appointments with a friend because there is after all so much truth in "misery loves company". If we're afraid, what could be better than having a friend be afraid too? It's not that we wish our friends ill, it's that we like to share. Bringing a friend works on many other levels as well. You have someone to fret with while en route to the appointment, and you have someone to chat with during the long waiting room layovers between tests. A friend will never laugh more at how ridiculous you look in a hospital gown than they will at how equally enchanting they look. A friend will commiserate when the only television in the room is tuned to some totally inane and undistracting program and a true friend will confess to not being able to hear his/her name being called due to a partial hearing loss thus opening the door for you to confess your own partial hearing loss. In short a real friend allows you to make it safely through what without him/her would have been a totally harrowing ordeal. If you are smart, the next time you go for a check up you'll bring a real friend with you and to get the full benefit, make sure they have booked a check up too.

The Diplomat

If you are really and truly lucky, your boss is not merely the boss, he/she is more of a diplomat and as such so many unsavoury situations will be avoided as your personal diplomat shares his/her tactical expertise equally with all employees. For example, in a situation where someone needs to retire but no one dares broach the subject, the diplomat/boss will finesse the matter by "promoting" that person to a seemingly higher station that will be too difficult and totally untenable for the employee, thus percipitating the desired resignation..all this done minus the normal whining and disparaging remarks so that the boss looks like the caring individual he/she is while the retiree gets to bow out gracefully, ego more than less intact, unharassed and not at all demeaned. The importance of diplomatic training has been recognized by many governments as a vital part of good working relations within multifaceted companies to the point that funding has been made available for people in the corporate world to share in the highly sensitive training previously reserved for the diplomatic corps. In the new business world, the ace in the hole is undeniably the boss/diplomat. He/She is the successful author of varying trade agreements otherwise known as job shifting. The boss "suggests" the changes that he/she knows are needed and all manoeuvres are carried out with almost seamless military precision minus the emotional quotient that would otherwise be very much in play and would sabotage any effective change. If your company has a "diplomat" at the helm then you have nothing to fear. Your workplace will be maintained in shipshape order and you will be asked to change either positions or ships by special kid gloved invitation.

The Pack Rat vs. The Collector

Not everyone recognizes the difference between a a collector or a pack rat but becoming or remaining one or both seems to be highly appealing whenever we are faced with the opportunity to jettison anything from either office or home. The collector masquerades as a semi quasi artiste who purposefully amasses many sets of many different things which can and are at times catalogued not only for efficiency but to prevent the "collection" from being mislabelled the horde of a pack rat. For some reason, the term pack rat never implies anything admirable while "collector" has possibilites and is not automatically frowned upon. There is at times a fine line which differentiates one label from the other but more often than not the lines are blurred to such an extent that it is almost impossible to tell them apart. The sad truth is that almost everyone (except the spartan purists) has pack rat tendencies and these can grow in power until you are at high do with no chance to dig yourself out alone. You are forced to hire p.r. assistants, (the stronger the better) and relegate almost all your spare time to the "dungeon" where you have stored what you have amassed, your fortune in 'acquired' goods. From old baby toys, to non-vinyl lps, from Girl Guide catalogues and badges, to old high school anatomy texts, from corncob pipes to old style fishing rods, from old address books to old Yellow Pages tomes, from more than musty Dick and Jane readers, to many cans of olive green paint that you used in the kitchen of your first apartment in 1955, and the "collection" continues....One day you realize that you can no longer walk a straight line from one end of your cavern (basement??) to the other without it being like an obstacle course and now some of your treasures pose health and safety problems too. You decide to tackle this EYESORE immediately so with the aid of your p.r. helpers you begin the arduous task of bagging and throwing. Each miniscule inch of the over-cluttered surface that you manage to clear gives you a tremendous feeling of power not to mention lightheartedness after you grieve for those whose lives you have preserved in boxes for all these years. You are perhaps and hopefully better able to let go. The only danger with carrying out this massive PURGE is that suddenly you realize that there is no room for your cars in the garage because this place is now occupied by the boxes you have decided were keepers. It turns out that you may no longer be a pack rat but you have become a bona fide collector.

How Did I Get To Be The Luckiest?

Whenever anything doesn't go exactly as you plan , or if things in general are less than perfect, you must take comfort in the knowledge that you are still the luckiest person in the world. This is not merely a think positive tactic it is an important truth that a very wise man taught me many many years ago and he was NEVER wrong! No matter what cards you are dealt, no matter how many lousy hands play out badly, you are still the luckiest. We all have our own personalized "lucky" lists which consist of all the great things that we have going for us yet when life in shades of gray throws us a few curves we crumple up our lists, toss them into dusty corners and wallow in our 'poor me' cocoons. Instead of wallowing perhaps it is time to take back the "luck" and never let it go too far again because the reality is, if tossed too many times the list becomes irretrieveable leaving the luckiest to turn into their far less attractive polar opposites and that is not an appealing prospect.

When To Retire

As in your personal life, in your professional life it is always a good thing to know when to go. For some reason our private lives no matter how murky they may appear, turn out to be the easiest to extricate ourselves from. In fact we are sometimes over achievers when it comes to the "Big Leave" we do it seemingly without much provocation or care for the inevitable fallout that always ensues yet when it comes to leaving a job or retiring, we lose all sense of perspective and enter into a collossal morass of denial. Somehow the fact that we've been at the same work place for eons and/or are at a retireable age, results in us becoming tenacious clinging vines apparently unable to sever ourselves from the tree even as we know the tree will continue to thrive once the excess weeds and nearly dead branches have been trimmed away, in a nutshell no one is irreplaceable yet there are legions of men and women out there in the work force who are clearly past their prime. They have in fact turned into those nearly dead branches, but they can't see the forest for the trees! Who then has to step up to the plate..chainsaw and make the tree viable once again? We cannot blame retirement packages that are less than stellar anymore than we can hold the no mandatory retirement age law accountable. We must place blame squarely on the shoulders of those who refuse to see their own particular degrees of incompetence along with the fact that they have definitely reached their personal crossroads and it is NOW their time to go. Extolling the virtues of retirement or a change of work place. might help but only slightly and will not guarantee optimum results. What is needed most besides the promise of an awesome goodbye party would probably be an instructural course of substance to act as a buttress and counselling which would educate as well as serve -in an outreach manner-the increasingly growing number of people who with the correct tools as well as the necessary support in place might be inspired through being better informed that the "right" time to decamp is today!

The Lyricist/ Illusionist?

All of us have our favourite songs seemingly tailor written for each specific mood or occasion that they bring to mind whenever we hear them. If we need cheering up we may listen to "Put On A Happy Face" and while that example is admittedly pat, we all identify at some time or another with a certain song which for us will always represent a certain something: a lost love, a wedding, a divorce, a child's teen years (we still hate those songs!!) and of course certain songs will always remind us of parents no longer here but in truth it is invariably the lyric that sucks us in. The music may be less than stellar but if the words fit the bill and provide what we need, that's good enough, in fact it's more than that, it's PERFECT! Thanks to the lyrics, we take ownership of the songs we've chosen. (ie.."that's OUR song") Which brings me to my question; how is it that a lyricist can march right into our hearts without so much as a 'by your leave' and make that unseen connection with us when we are the only ones who take the lyrics seriously? The "lyricist" is doing a "job" writing words to sell. He/She does not necessarily feel the way the words tell us he/she feels, in fact I wager that the true lyricist could actually be a mercenary disguised as a romantic who is totally adept at his/her craft. We are lucky that we never get to know the lyricists of those songs that have become 'our' songs because if we did, perhaps the sense of disillusionment would be too much to bear and we'd never find the perfect lyrics to deal with that.

A Date Or Non Date Between Friends

When is it ok to even refer to a "meeting" with a friend of the opposite sex as a non "date" or should the "D" word not enter into the discussion at all? I have always reserved the "D" word for instances when the relationships were strictly non-PLATONIC but I am willing to concede that this is perhaps an archaic opinion that needs modernizing so that I may remain current. If asked on a "non date" I am likely to have misgivings and this is probably not the best way to be. I should be able to graciously accept it for what I am told it is and nothng more right? What probably holds me back is the sheer number of years of Mom's daughter to daughter talks about dating that span from the boys to men era during which she never wavered in her conviction that "there is no such thing as a male friend"! Try as I may. I cannot shed the lessons taught through Mom's unique brand of brainwashing so although I'd like to say that I am amenable to change, I suppose that in the end some things cannot be shifted about. It is not as if I fear the torpedoes of wrath should I waffle, it is simply that I fear the impending PLAGUE that is sure to befall me should I stray from the "straight and narrow".

Appreciating The Arts

While you may not be a die hard fan of modern art you can certainly appreciate at least some of it and so you might decide to visit an international exhibit in your city to perhaps add some colour and culture to your life. You may be ill prepared for and somewhat overwhelmed by the feast of shapes, sizes metals, paints clay etc. which greets your eyes but you must soldier on visiting each and every booth in order to have the full ART experience. It is quite possible that your benevolent feelings towards the visual arts will undergo a significant drop after only 5 or 10 minutes spent visiting any number of artsy kiosks. This will result in a palpable loss of enthusiasm but still you mustn't throw in the towel so prematurely. Continue to walk those aisles with an open heart in the hopes that something will tug at your insides other than an overpowering urge to bolt! Meet those hard working creative artists and try to listen to what they want to share with you about their passion. It is quite alright to realize that their passion is light years away from yours because there is still joy and beauty to find.... only maybe not at this particular venue!.

Winter Travel Advisory

When heading south and away from our winter wonderland it is always better to dress for where you are leaving from than for where you are headed ( of course if you are coming back to winter the opposite applies!!). No matter how beautiful your toes may now look after their first pedi since last summer, resist the urge to show them off at the airport and choose warm socks and runners instead of the de rigeur flip flops, after all you'll have plenty of time to wiggle your exposed tootsies when you finally arrive at the beach. Wearing socks will keep your feet warm and comfortable on the plane and the runners will afford you some type of dignity during your time at the airport. You may have visited your local tanning salon prior to your departure or you may be returning home after days of baking in the sun, but you must try to resist the urge to show off your tanned gams by shunning those bermudas and skimpy sun dresses in favor of normal length jeans or pants that will manage to protect you from looking like a complete idiot when the snow is falling along with the temperatures. If you remember that television crews love to frequent busy airports especially when the weather is not conducive to punctual or reliable departures and landings then you might perhaps avoid looking foolish should your fifteen minutes of fame become available at the airport.

Losing Weight

We all know that there are major differences between men and women insofar as language and verbal expression are concerned but as different as we may seem to be on levels too numerous to count, we are pretty similar when it comes to losing that annoying extra weight. We more often than not have the same factors which motivate us to upgrade our physical casings and though we go about making the changes in similar ways, in the end when we stand back and look into the mirror to admire the new us we react differently to what we see. Granted there are those men who like their female counterparts notice each and every new wrinkle, gray hair, extra inches etc. however most men are more general in their self scrutiny. A woman will let you know to the precise inch just how much of her waistline has fallen away; a man will simply reveal the poundage that he has dropped offering no other details as the woman rambles on about her new hip size, pant size etc. etc. While I think that we need to acknowledge the hard work and dedication it takes to overhaul what needs tapering, we cannot expect everyone to be enthralled with our trip down chubby lane. We have to decide how much information is too much information. Personally I prefer the male version of weight loss as expressed by a friend: " I can take my old jeans off without undoing them!" That pretty much says it all and you are spared reliving the gruelling process that someone you know and love has had to endure

Way To Be

In the case of the at work romance? what do you do when your supposed "date" has not only not been acknowledged as such but has been dismissed with no explanation. What is the correct response because after all much is at stake in terms of your reputation should you err and respond incorrectly. Do you come right out and ask why your phonecall wasn't even returned or does that make you sound too needy? Do you ignore the whole thing and act like you too believe your "plans" were made of thin air or does that make you seem too blase? Do you continue to smile and banter as if the whole "possible" romance thing is no big deal at all or does this indicate that you really couldn't care less? Whatever you do, be sure that you do not walk around hang dog like feeling forlorn and unable to muster even the ghost of a smile when your paths cross. You must show outer strength at all times never even hinting at the deep sense of utter confusion you continue to feel not only when women simply open their mouths and speak but when they act or do not act in a way that you expect them to. You are actually between a rock and a hard place. You must continue to try to decipher the codes so that you will not be known as a quitter. At the same time you must not expect any in detail clarification, explanations, excuses etc. etc. etc. You must learn to accept that you will never really understand at all but if you are to have even the smallest of successes, you must at least pretend to have an interest and appear to be "trying"!

The Dating Game 1-0

Once you have agreed upon a day for your "rendez-vous" it seems that it is full steam ahead until the arrival of the designated date. What goes without saying is that you are filled with waiting euphoria which only increases as the day approaches so that by "D' day you are at the max insofar as emotions go and as ready as you'll ever be to spend a wonderful time with the person you've decided to get to know. What you are not prepared for however, is for your plans to be cancelled at the very last minute and not formally or officially cancelled, but annulled via no communication whatsoever not even so much as an apologetic phone call which after some consideration you figure must be attributed to the lack of a confirmation/ non-confirmation clause. You may say that you knew from the start that these plans were not carved in stone but this does not negate your feelings of melancholy as you rue not meeting up with that someone you had so looked forward to seeing. There are of course a myraid of possible explanations as to what went wrong with your 'plans' but the bottom line is that you need a better system next time you choose to make any of these types of arrangements. You may not make plans that hinge on the "if as in If I'm not too busy", To be absolutely certain that you have all your ducks in a row, do not agree to call it a date unless you have FIRM confimation; time, day, place etc. etc. you will in the future treat all romantic assignations as if they were orders from a catalogue therefore without written (sic..verbal) confirmation there is no order..no DATE!

Bathing Beauty

Why do you think that in houses scattered around the city in the cold of winter, women are prancing about their kitchens in their bathing suits? Well it's really quite simple, these women are getting ready to fly south for March Break and although the weather is mid January like in terms of temperature and snow on the ground, these brave ladies have elected to shun their warm and cozy indoor winter attire in exchange for their swimsuits. They bravely shimmy into halter top suits, bikinis, tankinis etc. and when they begin to quake it is not as you might expect from the cold, but from the fear that the images in their mirrors reflect. How they wonder could a mere few months of winter so radically alter their physical forms? They find to their total surprise and dismay that their beachwear looks to be a minimum of two sizes too small. This is the time when most opt for the latest in fast losing weight plans that is available. They choose to diet and at the same time they begin to pray for bodies that will fit into the array of bathing suits that haven't seen the light of day since August. They are however optimistic that they can once again become the bathing beauties they were last summer!

Date Night (The Dating Game) On Sunday

For most of us date night in the big city is on Saturday but for the unorthodox office romantics it would seem that against the grain is the ticket as they have decided to forego the norm and do the deed on Sunday. This of course gives them the added benefit of having the entire weekend not only to get prepared but psyched as well. It also pretty much guarantees them super ultra protection from running into anyone they might (heaven forbid) work with. The dilemma however is whether they will be able to pull off what they need to pull off come Monday morning when they are back at the office in the real world again. They will have to become paragons of discretion in order to maintain the professional distance that working at the same site demands. The cards have been dealt, the hand played (the game is afoot) and all that remains to be seen is who will win this edition of the dating game.

Reporting

Every big company has 'reporting' times and deadlines to deal with and the other commonality they share is the stress. N0 employees are exempt from the high levels of discomfort that accompany all reporting periods and for as long as these last, all stakeholders run the risk of having to deal with increased levels of angst, there is no getting away from that. Contrary to what you might think, our able CEOs do not arbitrarily demand that reports be completed by a certain date, it is their rightful expectation based upon your job description and if you are doing your job, this is part and parcel of your chosen career so it's best that you just get it done and return to the working life you knew and loved before the chaos kicked in. Some positives regarding this difficult time at work are however hard not to enjoy. You will note that many colleagues with whom you occasionally engage in inane conversation, race by you in the halls barely nodding a greeting as they make tracks for their cubby hole offices, while the water cooler is suddenly wide open with no line up in sight. The normal 5:00pm mass exodus from the building has turns into a virtual trickle and in fact you only have to wait 2 seconds for an elevator! If you've forgotten to bring lunch you make your way to the small in house snack bar and surprise, they haven't sold out of today's special and there is no jockeying for a position in the queue. Enjoy these small gifts that seem to come to you just when you most need them. Now get back to work!