The Eyes Have It

For the last 20 odd years of his life my dad was blind. It's funny how he, our most prolific teacher of life's curriculum, covered every area except for that one. Consequently I can look back and see clearly that I was never made privy to the basics of a life without sight. He never complained, never lamented and never blamed, he also never really described what he actually did see (hues, shadows the vaguest of forms etc.etc.)so recently when I experienced a few hours of 'white' blindness a a result of a test, my thoughts naturally turned to him and the wondering began. If I upon facing a potential ocular problem could be so freaked, how did he ever get used to it enough to take in in his stride? While I in my brief (but too long for me!)moment of fright could not adjust to what I knew was temporary, he seemed to handle it all without 'batting an eye'. This leads me to conclude that his philosophy must have been a nod to that old tune, 'Que Sera' so if that was good enough for him, no retina specialist's words should be powerful enough to knock me for a loop, or cause me to deviate from a tried and true credo. No matter what, the fact that it worked for Dad is proof positive that my only option is to follow (not blindly) suit.

Last Thanksgiving

If you recognize the powerful tug that memories have on your heart strings, it will not surprise you that when making those very memories, you are in a moment where their import is not as obvious to you as it is when you revisit that certain time/occasion. Such was kind of a case in point for me this Thanksgiving just past. While I realized how happy I was during the day itself, I also knew it would be the last time in the forseeable future when all the people I most love would be gathered together under the 'old' family roof. My kids are now grown and have flown as they were meant to; no ruing or wishing them small again can change that fact. I spent my time getting a good handle on the incredible adults they have become and was able to sit back and enjoy their company on a level that had little to do with being their mom. My newly minted memory will have to suffice as there will be no more of these reunions for me. I will always cherish and be grateful for this splendid incomparable moment in time.

A High Maintenence Man

Much has been said about the 'high maintenence' woman but for some unknown reason her male counterpart has been totally ignored....until now!
The high maintenence man is no myth. He exists and under a mask of anonymity, manages to wreak havoc with any and all who come into contact with him. He is like a Mack truck in the way he barrels ahead ignoring the unsturdy roadblocks he meets along his way and he manages to do this because women are generally not adept enough when it comes to roadblock construction. I think that the only key to surviving this type of man is to build a better roadblock. If you do not become a master builder you risk a lifetime of cooking, cleaning, ego stoking and forced laughter at jokes that aren't really funny. Your free time will be usurped by forced listening to the minutae of his days, and all too soon, you will find your "you" time a thing of the distant past. If you have had a 'H.M.M.' and miraculously manage to get to the point where you can still see the forest for the trees despite the glaring headlights of that truck, do not purchase a plane ticket to Mexico, simply run for the hills/forest and let your high maintenence guy get what he needs most at the first available truck stop.

The Last/Lost Weekend

When you have a huge investment whose success or failure hinges on a 'weekend' it would not be hard to understand the following:
No matter your hopes for a positive result, you need to wait and see. While waiting it would be perfectly understandable for you to engage in any manner of second guessing but not realistic to expect the outcome you most want. If you are at all pragmatic, a good way to be, you will need to acknowledge the distinct probability (more than a fleeting possibility)that you will in fact not have things go your way and that in the end, the weekend has the power to irrevocably change the course that you had so carefully charted for yourself. It is always dicey when you are not the sole author of your own big decisions, but if and when you find yourself in this type of situation, you can only bide your time and look deep inside for the optimist you know yourself to be; then you will best be able to handle whatever comes your way.

The Organic Berry Bar

In these fiscally challenging times how wonderful to find when visiting The Organic Berry Bar a well known drinking hole in the neighbourhood, a plethora of newly minted libations that reflect these uncertain times when recession and ecological concerns are at the forefront of virtually everything. I was most pleased to see the following offerings written on the giant display chalkboard:



Green Sidecar

Hydroponic Bloody Mary

Tax Free Martini (with a rebate twist)

Anti-Aging Sloe Gin Fizz

Long Island Anti Oxident Iced Tea

Recyclable Coconut Shell Pina Colada

...........................................

To list but a few.
How rewarding and perhaps instrumental in the decline of the number of alcoholic drinks sold in this bar!


*Newly available exclsively at our Iqaluit branch, Global Warming Arctic Ice Vodka

On The Road...Again

When you feel like you must get away but aren't sure of logistics and don't feel like planning, simply throw the bare necessities into a weekender (you'll not need more)grab some healthy snacks and some bottled water, hop into your chariot (any reliable set of wheels will do)and voila, you're on the road! You drive until you reach a spot that tugs at your innards asking you to rest awhile and that is the first stop on your jaunt. Not planned, not orchestrated by anything sensible or mundane; a new place and the beginning of a future memory. This type of travel will afford you an incredible lightness of being and and will deal with your wanderlust at the same time, un unbeatable combination. As you travel the roads, listen to a copious amount of songs by Johnny Hartman and no matter where you roam, don't listen to country music or you'll end up heading back home.. prematurely.

Fish'n Chips and Other Fast Food

You see a t.v. ad and you think wow, finally an authentic British-like Fish 'n Chips place where the batter doesn't dwarf the fish which would of course be moist as opposed to sere, but no, as good as it looked, as well endorsed as it was, this place in the downtown area was definitely not even worth the drive. Picture the lone fish guy emerging from beyond your eyeview, (rear of the joint) and without so much as a misting of soap and water, beginning to prepare your order. The phone rings and the gloveless wonder answers it while 'prepping' our fish. He has no attention to spare should we have any specific requests and when his conversation ends you may request "light" batter" but that would only produce an annoyed response. "Why didn't you say so before?" (2 min. prior)When you respond that he was otherwise occupied his voice goes up a few decibels as he insists you could have interrupted him if it was important. He then begins a lengthy monologue; "I have no more light battered halibut, I suppose you want me to waste a perfectly good piece of fish (in the fryer for maybe 3 secs.)I don't want to argue, maybe you'd be happy getting your money back" at which point I catapulted my voice into his soliloquoy and said YES PLEASE! The same unwashed hand returned our money with a final caveat from tattoo boy, " I don't want you as customers anyway" Chippy's now joins the long list of fast food places where the ever vigilent consumer must 'gently' remind the prep person to wash those hands especially if the gloves are off!

Baby It's Hot Outside

With the humidex we expect 45 degrees cel. today, what a bonus especially if you're like me and HATE the heat as much as you hate the humidity. I plan to remain indoors in the A.C. zone for as long as this heat wave lasts which kind of puts the kibosh on geting outside to "enjoy" the summer season. So, no more, watching baseball in the park,walking along the shore with an ice cream cone (melting cone)or cycling around the many scenic bike paths etc.etc. I have no choice but to avoid the great outdoors unless I am going for the sweaty look and the sticky feel, I am so NOT!! Living here we all know about seasonal hibernation which normally occurs during the winter when temps. get so low that in the best interest of self-preservation we remain wrapped up at home in front of our fireplaces or space heaters. Summer brings with it hopes of light, air, (no smog...)and infinitely less clothing so it stands to reason that thoughts of summer bring feelings of freedom. For me when it is this hot, summer fills me with dread. No muscle tops, short shorts or flip flops can protect me from the overwhelming feeling of sweatiness and discomfort. I learned early on that unlike winter, summer allows for absolutely not enough unravelling of clothing layers unless you choose to spend it in a nudist colony...not me!

John Cleese Is Ill

Must have been a whopper of an illness to prevent the advertised m.c. of tonights gala from showing. When one of the festival organizers stepped onto the stage to announce that Cleese was too sick to perform, everyone initially suspected this to be a ruse or a joke lead in intro.. but no, it was actually true and it was a festival first to boot. The stand-in host did his best but for us, the bloom was off the rose. We watched countless comics but were amused by only a few. I thought this was due to the initial sense of 'let down' or disappointment, but as I look back on this gala, it becomes clear that it was due to a general lack of great comedy.

When Picking Up...

Anyone even thinking of heading to their local airport during the summer months should never do so alone. It is adviseable to take at least one other picker upper along because there are now multiple possibilities for exiting the arrival lounge and unless you have backup recruits to man the other doors, you may end up losing the friend or relative you are supposed to be meeting. There is always that transparent glass partition through which you will catch your first glimpse of the one you are waiting for, but as it also acts as a sound proof barrier, you have no hopes of calling out a name or whistling a secret tune to announce that you are there. You might be inclined to try to perform a series of jumping jacks in a bid to attract your particular passengers attention, but this is not a guaranteed means to that end unless you are trying to get the entire populace gathered in the arrivals area to witness your gymnastics and deem you to be a few screws loose. There is a new service available at most airports that just might be perfect if you cannot get anyone to accompany you. In fact this option could well make it preferable to go to the airport alone because you can rest assured that the knowledgeable individuals who have been well trained to make your airport experience that much easier are only a phonecall away. Call 1-800-Rent A Greeter

The Hybrid Again...Still...

Today Mom was mistress of the long fairway shot courtesy of good playing AND the #4 Hybrid. She finally got the 'swing' of the club and made short shrift of all fairways no matter how long and winding. I had no choice but to try again and as each practice shot was a flop I refused to take an actual shot with that club. In a stroke? of genius, I measured her Hybrid against my 3 wood and found a distinct disparity in the length, no wonder my shots were for naught, her Hybrid is tooooo short for me. Once I had the problem sorted out I happily returned to my clubs even surpassing my hopes/expectations (as in overshooting the green!!)with my 5 wood so I have decided to forego any contact with Moms Hybrid until further notice; kind of like when the fat lady sings or when the shaft of the club grows!

Rabbit Overflow

You are decidedly a pet lover who for years, due to allergies, has been unable to offer shelter to any homeless animal. Your dry "petless" run finally ended when Mox moved in and watching you slice and dice his mini salads it was clear to all that you had found THE furry creature to love and care for. Mox quickly became ruler of the 'family' room and even had his own personal partiion (cardboard) for those occasions when leaving the family room would not have been in his best interest; (safety wise) yet he is given free reign to roam the house when you are there. Mox is totally devoted to you and to demonstrate solidarity, he doesn't miss an opportunity to join you on the sofa to be serenaded by your husbands guitar. Things have been hopping along at a perfect pace but somehow you managed to find not one but TWO more homeless rabbits and your big warren-like heart just had to 'rescue' them. There is no turning back, you are never going to abandon these orphans. You now have your own bonafide rabbit hutch where none of the three get along, you need to be thrice as vigilent AND most fun of all, you have become like those overworked people at the zoo who have that one very important job; SANITATION! Still, better you than me, you love them and if it was me, there'd be a loss of sanity way before I even considered sanitation!

Rolls Etc.....

By far, the best bread products this side of Toronto are to be found and enjoyed in La Belle Province. They are soo good that it scarcely matters what topping you choose because truth be known, they are absolutely perfect on their own! The only problem is how does one avoid becoming a bread gourmand when it is so readily available. After much deliberation, the answer has come to me. One does not avoid it at all. You must indulge to the fullest (only if you are a vacationer!!) and make sure that every trip to your local boulangerie/patisserie counts. Unforunately you can also count on tons of extra poundage but in the end, what's a little weight gain between friends of les pains? Don't forget to try the brioches, croissants, baguettes, parisiennes, petits fours, assorted patisseries, coeurs de France et al or you haven't really lived.

Lobster In A Box

On the shore of the river in the old port there is a metallic container that folds open to reveal a hidden gem; a tiny resto bar that serves dynamite lobster rolls and calls to mind those made famous by Henry's Diner. The setting is ideal and the 'rolls' perfection. This spot remains an insiders secret so there is no wait and no difficulty getting a seat at one of the four mini tables in the teeny courtyard area. A big screen t.v. airs not the latest violent soccer game or staid British Open; instead it charts the journey of the lobster from water to table minus that screeching that we all know lobsters do when they come into contact with those boiling vats. As you sit and dine? the boats glide by, the bikes race along their special path and the tour busses wend their way down the parallel streets. It is quiet enough for you to actually hear the guided tour recording so that you get a bit of the old city history at the same time. Lobster in a box is the best historical eating experience you can ever hope to have unless you get to dine on seal hearts in the great north!

Runnng A Mile

When you feel like you have to run is it away from something or is it onwards and upwards? Perhaps the truth is that you are killing two birds etc. You may suddenly feel an overpowering urge to bolt yet what is it that has kept you from doing so up to this point and why now? Perhaps life too has a statute of limitations and when that runs out you run the mile! There are clearly things that keep you anchored in one spot in much the same way a boat is moored in a marina. You, like that boat, will sway with the waves but in the end you remain in the same general area which can cause your progress to stagnate and this is exactly the moment when if you are even slightly intuitive, you realize you need to run. No matter how peaceful the waters it is never adviseable to remain knotted in place, anchored in port. 'Real' life can only be lived beyond the perimeters of the seemingly safe (dream) harbour ergo if you choose not to run a mile you are relegating yourself to half of what is out there for the taking. The half you get to keep if you don't run is not necessarily always the more attractive half, but in most instances it is the half that seems the easiest to maintain despite all that it is missing. I hope that you can run a mile because you need to see for yourself that there is so much more waiting for you. You have paid your marina fees and are now free to untie the rope and sail away..or run a mile.

The Closet

Although to some, the closet is a safe retreat from many realities too daunting to face in the light of day, it is sadly not the way to go unless one wants to spend his allotted time shrouded in the cloying darkness that the closed closet door can provide. Don't be fooled by the darkness, it won't be able to keep you safe even if the door is locked. You will in effect be taking a pass on the many prisms of life available beyond the closet confines and that leaves you with a very marginal day to day which is so much less than what you should be aspiring to. Failure to 'come out' results in feeding the party line that believes you to be a less than valued citizen of the world so why would you want to support the narrowest view of all? If you can muster up even just a bit of courage, your hand might have an easier time finding the latch to the closet and undoing it to let the light in and to let yourself out.

The Hybrid

Until this morning I was under the misconception that I knew what a hybrid was. In fact, I'd have wagered money that it referred to a model of Toyota so it clearly came as quite a shock to learn that here up north, nestled in the pristine wooded area of a natural habitat that is also known as Hillsdale,'hybrid' refers to a certain golf club which I (probably incorrectly) assume is a cross between a wood and an iron though physically it calls to mind the wood family albeit on a smaller scale. I had not expected to trade in my favourite fairway club (3 wood of course) in order to "try" the hybrid but that is just what I ended up doing. After watching the great hybrid shots my mom had, it was my turn and I fully and as it turns out foolishly expected the same success quotient. Boy was I off in my thinking. This hybrid fought me every step of the fairway and totally refused to cooperate. My ball went sideways and seemed to be playing Mother May I Take A Step as it grudgingly advanced baby step by baby step each time I handled the incomparable HYBRID!! By the 5th hole I had finally seen the light. I would be best off sticking with what I know so with a smile and an inner glow of gratitude for the sunshine and my trusty 'old' clubs, I returned Mr. Hybrid to Mom!!!

From Sand Trap To Sand Trap

The name of this blog may bring to mind the lyrics "from sea to shining sea" but the reality that inspires my title is much less majestic, much less pastoral. It is in fact what happens when you do not maintain a proper stance while addressing that infamous little fluorescent mini globe known everywhere as a golf ball. On a hole where there are at least 5 different sand traps what are the odds that I'd gain such seemingly effortless entry to each? Actually the odds were in my favour and I managed to do just that. It was like playing a new age game of hopscotch as I wound up for the swing and propelled that little shocking pink orb into all dunes newly swept by the groundskeeper who literally had to run for cover when I hit bunker number 3. I offered to trade places with him and take over grooming the traps but was informed that he "isn't great at golf". I on the other hand know that I am great at playing in the sand.

When in/at Panama

When you go "home" for a visit despite not having lived in that city for at least 35 years, you will almost always meet someone you knew but it's so much better when that happens and there is genuine pleasure and even an element of surprise in the meeting. Last night out to dinner with Mom and family friends, I met someone who I had the most occasion to see when he was a little boy. Aside from no immediate recognition on my part (how on earth could he know this much older version of me??) when my brain finally did catch up to what I had already known- he was a married father- I still found it a touch surreal that here he was with his wife talking about their daughters travel plans while I was still getting used to the time warp that surely must be at the root of his 'catching up' to his sister and me in terms of growing up! Youngest brothers adored by older sisters cannot remain little boys forever but there was something special about this 'adult' little brother and that mysterious 'something' brought me back to a time when everything was ahead and regrets were for the mostpart innane and few. I think that meeting this young couple has made me appreciate how lucky I am. My regret chart isn't full yet and I still have much to look forward to. All lessons aside though, as I said, it is always much better to run into someone you are truly happy to re-meet, and so it was for me last night.

Get A Grip

When is it ok to get emotional in public? When you win a Nobel Peace Prize or maybe during the photo op when you win big at the lottery game? Or is it perhaps possible that emotions are best left at home to be taken out whenever you are alone or with close family members who won't feel ackward as you bare all your innards. I am not talking about seething anger, an emotion not always welcome in the public arena but certainly understood if the provocation is proven to be top notch. This does not mean that you may respond in anger while operating a vehicle or piloting a plane although it does mean that sometimes in the workplace there are provocateurs who really do need a hefty dose of your pent up frustration (which only exisits because of them)to finally be released directly back at them in the form of 'put you in your place I won't take this anymore' controlled but devastating, feel great (to you) payback anger. Now that we've dealt with the anger let's look at the flip side... the crybaby who feels an innate need to let all his personal grief, guilt and any other manner of neuroses which had heretofore lain more or less dormant come bubbling to the surface in any public arena no matter how inappropriate the venue...This is the consummate emotional wreck who really has no business being in any public arenas whatsoever until intense therapy has taught him how to manage his many needs and moods without drawing the innocent into the fray of his web of hysteria or self-aggrandization. The crier has been known to elicit all manner of responses from people unexpectedly on the receiving end of this emotional roller coaster gone wildly out of control. In fact these overzealous kleenex addicts get better and better at 'pulling the wool etc" than a family pack of Australian sheep herders. We must be ever vigilant and never succumb to this well rehearsed camouflage. If you get a chance to say to one of these lost souls, "get a grip!" and they do, it will be a miracle. If the 'get a grip' advisory doesn't work, and if you care, get them to a good facility.

See-Saw

There comes a time although we may fight it, when we need to relinquish our optimistic take on childish games in much the same way that we've given up on regular visits to the playground sections at the park. There are so many instances in life that recall the see-saws we loved to go on as children, and it is probably that fondly remembered up and down ride that prevents us from stamping out the non-wonderful see-saw experiences that seem to be everywhere in our adult lives. Our memories are sun-dappled and remain untarnished so it is not easy to ward off the rides that are nothing like our sepia hued past experiences at the playground. The simplest way to end the newer type of ride that can only end badly-not unlike those rare instances where your "supposed" best friend left you high up in the air only to drop you suddenly with little fanfare and a resounding painful boom- is to refuse to get on. The power of just saying "no" is great enough to protect from any and/or all types of sudden unexpected let downs and does wonders for keeping your
--- covered.

Parents And Children by guest writer Sophia

What is the issue on parents and children? Is it fair for adults to boss children around, maybe not but children have to deal with it. So sometimes kids get pushed around and sometimes they are told to do something they don't want to do. Most of the time the parents make the right decission and the kids end up making the wrong one, but don't you think that once in a while the parents should just let the kid do what they want and have them make the wrong decision. It is really unhealthy for the kid to not be able to make their own decisions, because later in life they're not going to have their parents say "honey you can't do that you have to do this" They are on their own. So through their childhood you need to mix in the occasional okay honey. Even if they make the wrong decision they have to learn from their mistakes.

When Dad won't Listen For Sophia

How does a 12 year old child make her father listen. It's not that he cannot hear what she says, it is that he chooses to disregard and in so doing he is unable to correct a behaviour that causes her consternation. It is totally within his power to change and actually he would be demonstrating a non stubborn streak which would be a really good thing but it's as if he can't see the forest for the trees. The fact that he sees his daughter as headstrong and/or stubborn is the perfect instance where the apples don't fall far from the.........

Not 60 Yet

Somehow entering my 60th year is a lot less traumatic than my next birthday will be, at least this is what I think today when scotch drunk in celebration fails to result in any numbing and the absence of a cake doesn't phase me one bit. Something has to give so I assume that I am saving my angst for next April. This is in fact a plan as why should I summon up perfectly good angst until I really need it? Dinner with great live music and excellent company has made today just perfect and that along with not yet being 60 makes this birthday the best in a long time.

Is It A Plane? No It's A Bird

If you believe in reincarnation you have surely wondered in what form you might have previously manifested yourself. It is usually a crapshoot when one opines or hazards a guess except for the case of the 'artiste' then it is crystal clear what one must have been prior to taking on the human form. A musician has to have been a bird, so taken is he/she with the various trills and whistles, bells too that there could be no other possible explanation. The nomadic wanderlust that defines the artiste surely evolves from the constant flights through the air and the many nests that have been so ably feathered, by the bird! The nouveau artiste with a penchant for things 'green' must have been a bird who spent his/her avian nightlife sheltered beneath the green ceilings of the boughs of the trees. The degrees of difficulty where life is concerned vary only slightly when comparing humans and birds. Migration south as birds are wont to do is definitely akin to moving to wherever there is a market for your art. The two have many converging points and perhaps it is wise to maintain some of the things you learned as a bird and to incorporate them into your human persona. This may involve teaching yourself to 'whistle while you work' and if you do, things should go just swimmingly, unless of course you figure out that you were once a water creature; that, clearly, is a whole other kettle of fish!!