John Cleese Is Ill

Must have been a whopper of an illness to prevent the advertised m.c. of tonights gala from showing. When one of the festival organizers stepped onto the stage to announce that Cleese was too sick to perform, everyone initially suspected this to be a ruse or a joke lead in intro.. but no, it was actually true and it was a festival first to boot. The stand-in host did his best but for us, the bloom was off the rose. We watched countless comics but were amused by only a few. I thought this was due to the initial sense of 'let down' or disappointment, but as I look back on this gala, it becomes clear that it was due to a general lack of great comedy.

When Picking Up...

Anyone even thinking of heading to their local airport during the summer months should never do so alone. It is adviseable to take at least one other picker upper along because there are now multiple possibilities for exiting the arrival lounge and unless you have backup recruits to man the other doors, you may end up losing the friend or relative you are supposed to be meeting. There is always that transparent glass partition through which you will catch your first glimpse of the one you are waiting for, but as it also acts as a sound proof barrier, you have no hopes of calling out a name or whistling a secret tune to announce that you are there. You might be inclined to try to perform a series of jumping jacks in a bid to attract your particular passengers attention, but this is not a guaranteed means to that end unless you are trying to get the entire populace gathered in the arrivals area to witness your gymnastics and deem you to be a few screws loose. There is a new service available at most airports that just might be perfect if you cannot get anyone to accompany you. In fact this option could well make it preferable to go to the airport alone because you can rest assured that the knowledgeable individuals who have been well trained to make your airport experience that much easier are only a phonecall away. Call 1-800-Rent A Greeter

The Hybrid Again...Still...

Today Mom was mistress of the long fairway shot courtesy of good playing AND the #4 Hybrid. She finally got the 'swing' of the club and made short shrift of all fairways no matter how long and winding. I had no choice but to try again and as each practice shot was a flop I refused to take an actual shot with that club. In a stroke? of genius, I measured her Hybrid against my 3 wood and found a distinct disparity in the length, no wonder my shots were for naught, her Hybrid is tooooo short for me. Once I had the problem sorted out I happily returned to my clubs even surpassing my hopes/expectations (as in overshooting the green!!)with my 5 wood so I have decided to forego any contact with Moms Hybrid until further notice; kind of like when the fat lady sings or when the shaft of the club grows!

Rabbit Overflow

You are decidedly a pet lover who for years, due to allergies, has been unable to offer shelter to any homeless animal. Your dry "petless" run finally ended when Mox moved in and watching you slice and dice his mini salads it was clear to all that you had found THE furry creature to love and care for. Mox quickly became ruler of the 'family' room and even had his own personal partiion (cardboard) for those occasions when leaving the family room would not have been in his best interest; (safety wise) yet he is given free reign to roam the house when you are there. Mox is totally devoted to you and to demonstrate solidarity, he doesn't miss an opportunity to join you on the sofa to be serenaded by your husbands guitar. Things have been hopping along at a perfect pace but somehow you managed to find not one but TWO more homeless rabbits and your big warren-like heart just had to 'rescue' them. There is no turning back, you are never going to abandon these orphans. You now have your own bonafide rabbit hutch where none of the three get along, you need to be thrice as vigilent AND most fun of all, you have become like those overworked people at the zoo who have that one very important job; SANITATION! Still, better you than me, you love them and if it was me, there'd be a loss of sanity way before I even considered sanitation!

Rolls Etc.....

By far, the best bread products this side of Toronto are to be found and enjoyed in La Belle Province. They are soo good that it scarcely matters what topping you choose because truth be known, they are absolutely perfect on their own! The only problem is how does one avoid becoming a bread gourmand when it is so readily available. After much deliberation, the answer has come to me. One does not avoid it at all. You must indulge to the fullest (only if you are a vacationer!!) and make sure that every trip to your local boulangerie/patisserie counts. Unforunately you can also count on tons of extra poundage but in the end, what's a little weight gain between friends of les pains? Don't forget to try the brioches, croissants, baguettes, parisiennes, petits fours, assorted patisseries, coeurs de France et al or you haven't really lived.

Lobster In A Box

On the shore of the river in the old port there is a metallic container that folds open to reveal a hidden gem; a tiny resto bar that serves dynamite lobster rolls and calls to mind those made famous by Henry's Diner. The setting is ideal and the 'rolls' perfection. This spot remains an insiders secret so there is no wait and no difficulty getting a seat at one of the four mini tables in the teeny courtyard area. A big screen t.v. airs not the latest violent soccer game or staid British Open; instead it charts the journey of the lobster from water to table minus that screeching that we all know lobsters do when they come into contact with those boiling vats. As you sit and dine? the boats glide by, the bikes race along their special path and the tour busses wend their way down the parallel streets. It is quiet enough for you to actually hear the guided tour recording so that you get a bit of the old city history at the same time. Lobster in a box is the best historical eating experience you can ever hope to have unless you get to dine on seal hearts in the great north!

Runnng A Mile

When you feel like you have to run is it away from something or is it onwards and upwards? Perhaps the truth is that you are killing two birds etc. You may suddenly feel an overpowering urge to bolt yet what is it that has kept you from doing so up to this point and why now? Perhaps life too has a statute of limitations and when that runs out you run the mile! There are clearly things that keep you anchored in one spot in much the same way a boat is moored in a marina. You, like that boat, will sway with the waves but in the end you remain in the same general area which can cause your progress to stagnate and this is exactly the moment when if you are even slightly intuitive, you realize you need to run. No matter how peaceful the waters it is never adviseable to remain knotted in place, anchored in port. 'Real' life can only be lived beyond the perimeters of the seemingly safe (dream) harbour ergo if you choose not to run a mile you are relegating yourself to half of what is out there for the taking. The half you get to keep if you don't run is not necessarily always the more attractive half, but in most instances it is the half that seems the easiest to maintain despite all that it is missing. I hope that you can run a mile because you need to see for yourself that there is so much more waiting for you. You have paid your marina fees and are now free to untie the rope and sail away..or run a mile.

The Closet

Although to some, the closet is a safe retreat from many realities too daunting to face in the light of day, it is sadly not the way to go unless one wants to spend his allotted time shrouded in the cloying darkness that the closed closet door can provide. Don't be fooled by the darkness, it won't be able to keep you safe even if the door is locked. You will in effect be taking a pass on the many prisms of life available beyond the closet confines and that leaves you with a very marginal day to day which is so much less than what you should be aspiring to. Failure to 'come out' results in feeding the party line that believes you to be a less than valued citizen of the world so why would you want to support the narrowest view of all? If you can muster up even just a bit of courage, your hand might have an easier time finding the latch to the closet and undoing it to let the light in and to let yourself out.

The Hybrid

Until this morning I was under the misconception that I knew what a hybrid was. In fact, I'd have wagered money that it referred to a model of Toyota so it clearly came as quite a shock to learn that here up north, nestled in the pristine wooded area of a natural habitat that is also known as Hillsdale,'hybrid' refers to a certain golf club which I (probably incorrectly) assume is a cross between a wood and an iron though physically it calls to mind the wood family albeit on a smaller scale. I had not expected to trade in my favourite fairway club (3 wood of course) in order to "try" the hybrid but that is just what I ended up doing. After watching the great hybrid shots my mom had, it was my turn and I fully and as it turns out foolishly expected the same success quotient. Boy was I off in my thinking. This hybrid fought me every step of the fairway and totally refused to cooperate. My ball went sideways and seemed to be playing Mother May I Take A Step as it grudgingly advanced baby step by baby step each time I handled the incomparable HYBRID!! By the 5th hole I had finally seen the light. I would be best off sticking with what I know so with a smile and an inner glow of gratitude for the sunshine and my trusty 'old' clubs, I returned Mr. Hybrid to Mom!!!

From Sand Trap To Sand Trap

The name of this blog may bring to mind the lyrics "from sea to shining sea" but the reality that inspires my title is much less majestic, much less pastoral. It is in fact what happens when you do not maintain a proper stance while addressing that infamous little fluorescent mini globe known everywhere as a golf ball. On a hole where there are at least 5 different sand traps what are the odds that I'd gain such seemingly effortless entry to each? Actually the odds were in my favour and I managed to do just that. It was like playing a new age game of hopscotch as I wound up for the swing and propelled that little shocking pink orb into all dunes newly swept by the groundskeeper who literally had to run for cover when I hit bunker number 3. I offered to trade places with him and take over grooming the traps but was informed that he "isn't great at golf". I on the other hand know that I am great at playing in the sand.

When in/at Panama

When you go "home" for a visit despite not having lived in that city for at least 35 years, you will almost always meet someone you knew but it's so much better when that happens and there is genuine pleasure and even an element of surprise in the meeting. Last night out to dinner with Mom and family friends, I met someone who I had the most occasion to see when he was a little boy. Aside from no immediate recognition on my part (how on earth could he know this much older version of me??) when my brain finally did catch up to what I had already known- he was a married father- I still found it a touch surreal that here he was with his wife talking about their daughters travel plans while I was still getting used to the time warp that surely must be at the root of his 'catching up' to his sister and me in terms of growing up! Youngest brothers adored by older sisters cannot remain little boys forever but there was something special about this 'adult' little brother and that mysterious 'something' brought me back to a time when everything was ahead and regrets were for the mostpart innane and few. I think that meeting this young couple has made me appreciate how lucky I am. My regret chart isn't full yet and I still have much to look forward to. All lessons aside though, as I said, it is always much better to run into someone you are truly happy to re-meet, and so it was for me last night.