The Resurrection

Numbers one and three have risen again so it's back to the mixed grab bag for our fearless dater. Number One however has undergone a name change and will from now on be known as Sparky, while Number Three retains her original moniker! How now will our dating hero make his ultimate decision? Will any bamboo be involved? It is hoped that he will be at least a bit cautious where Sparky is concerned, and more flexible with Number Three. For now the score is Sparky two points, won on Saturday, the universal date night, over dinner and a romantic stroll? which may just be a sign that the tides have turned and you are back in like Flynn, while Number Three waits patiently? for her day in the sun (and her points)not at all aware that she just may have already become one of the fish on the salmon run. Only time and the upcoming birthday will tell how she fares in her upstream battle. Will sparks fly on the 19th? Will green be the colour du jour? Stay tuned and Happy Birthday.

I'm Going Fishing!

After hearing the joys of fishing extolled via a myriad of descriptors which always seem to be male generated, ( "the gentlemen's sport " ) I have decided to see what all the fuss is about or if in fact there really is anything to make a fuss over. I have been advised by a near pro fisherman that I must have a license, so I have secured one and as I write, my waders, rod,(staff!!!!) net and tackle box stand at the ready by the front door, I am sooo prepared. I do have one minor concern; I love to talk, sometimes too much and I wonder if my fishing crew will be as happy to have me in the stern of the boat once we get there. I suspect it takes a special fisherman to smile when he finds himself in the middle of a small lake surrounded by schools of fish and perhaps too many syllables. My 'rockin' fishing hat is not only going to keep the harmful rays at bay, but it is sure to be the perfect showcase for the new fishing pins that I just HAD to have. I may even decide to design and market a line of semi precious fishing ornaments for those discerning fishing lovers who have seen the wisdom in maintaining a jewelry fund!!

A Bachelor Again? Still?

When considering your status it is always important to be as honest with yourself as you possibly can before you make any life changes or poor decisions. Spend some quality time with the new you, ALONE, and if after six months, or six weeks (depending on how much time you need to do it right) you really believe that you have succeeded in reinventing yourself then by all means go ahead and proclaim your bachelorhood for all to hear but you are advised to remember that it is not always enough to simply "like" yourself because that is not a guarantee that you are totally prepared. If however you enjoy your own company AND you are absolutely fine with "alone" time, then maybe you are ready. At this point, it will matter little whether Sparky or Number Three have designated you as a "keeper" because you will be the one who decides who, what, where, when and how which is certainly the best of all possibilities.

Father's Day Postscript

All (but one) of your chickens have flown the coop and the one that remains is on holiday so what's a dad to do for dad's day? You decide that two out of three ain't bad so you invite your hatchlings for an afternoon barbecue. You do a nice sized supermarket shop and squeeze in a ball game all before your children are due to arrive; you are oranized, not exactly a dad quality but then you are after all no ordinary dad, you are a dad against the grain. At the last minute you find out that your daughter misread her work schedule and had to be at work at the precise time the barbecue was to have begun while your son upon hearing that his sister was going to be a no show decided that he'd not be coming either. This is where your against the grainness kicked into high gear. Instead of feeling blue, getting "lips", and/or eating all the food yourself, you wisely decided to freeze the feast and postpone the celebration until all three of your babies are available. Most men would not be as flexible but because you are secure in the knowledge that your children so love you each and every day of the year, you can hold Father's Day whenever you like because for you, any/everyday is Father's Day.

Dad's Rules For Dating

It goes without saying that our father's rules for his daughters' dating lives differed greatly from what he expected of his sons. When my sister and I tried to gain some parity with our brothers, it was always a no go.


For Les Girls


1. No key to the house till you're 17 (Ring the bell, Dad will answer) (He mostly answered except for the times he slept so soundly he did not hear the bell)

2. Do not come home pregnant (this was an edict issued on a first date to an in house coed party when we were 12!)

3. No boys to call us on the phone after 8:00pm.

4. No going out with any boys who did not come to the front door to collect us

5. No dating at all before the prospective beau sat down for "the" chat in the tall backed 'interview' chair in the living-room

6. No dancing cheek to cheek especially at family celebrations or Dad would simply dance/follow you around the dance floor with Mom in his arms

7. No pdas.

8. Curfew ALWAYS non-negotiable

9. No make-up

10. No boys at home unless parents were there too

In later years one rule was added:

11. If after an interview Dad offered the young man in question a drink, and his offer was accepted, Dad served the drink and announced that the suitor was probably an alcoholic and therefore entirely unsuitable.


For Les Boys


1. Do you have your key?


2. Do you need the car?


3. Don't forget to fill up the tank if you do a lot of driving


4. Have fun and see you in the morning



Note to my brothers who found our rules quite humorous: It is very clear that Dad loved us more because he gave us way more rules and regs!






Happy Father's Day to the man who always kept us safe, WE were the luckiest.

Ten Things I Learned

When we are very young, our 'real' and 'true' education begins. (NOT the one at school!!) We learn many things from our parents (if we're lucky) long before we get to the "life" lessons that kick in in earnest almost as soon as we leave home. If you go way way back in time and try to compress all the lessons learned at parents' knees into a top ten list, the task will surely turn out to be a bit daunting to say the least, it did for me. I list ours here, in no particular order.

1. Family comes first, ALWAYS

2. LOVE
3. Don't ever lie to yourself

4. Find at least one hour in every twenty four, just for you
5. Don't be a quitter

6. You do not need a lot of friends and you are lucky if you have one GOOD one

7. Read Read Read, learn forever and always know what's going on in the world

8. Be kind and considerate, never selfish

9. Exercise Exercise Exercise: Play golf, tennis swim do archery, gymnastics, ski, (water and downhill )take Taekwondo, boxing, wrestling, roller and ice skate, toboggan, play basketball in the driveway, swim, lift weights, do push-ups, play ping-pong nightly etc.etc.

10. Always try your best and don't let anyone tell you that you can't

Dad, Not Just For Father's Day

Thirteen years ago last month our family lost its co-creator and although we had often heard/used that popular phrase, "time heals all etc.etc." thankfully, we never really had to test it out before. Suddenly the "allest" of wounds was upon us and we found ourselves clinging to the hope that time would indeed prevail and save us from the pain that we could not even fathom let alone discuss amongst ourselves on that day in 1995 and/or in the weeks, months and years that followed. We had been so well trained in the art of minimalism with regards to complaining or bemoaning any personally perceived injustice that we simply did not know how to deal with the gaping chasm that now seemed to be a permanent part of the fabric that made up our family. We had to learn how to be a different kind of family, and that took inordinate amounts of time and effort, not to master, just to be. Our family was like a rudderless ship, a vessel without its captain minus an anchor and though we are so blessed to have Mom our safe harbour, we found being witness to her loss almost too much to bear. Although I cannot pinpoint the specific year, I do remember the first time a 'Daddy' memory did not cause that desperate sense of loss that seemed to be my shadow everytime I thought of him, missed him, quoted him or tried to do things in a way that would have made him proud. I worried about Mom, my siblings and the grandchildren because as the eldest I thought that Dad would have expected no less of me. How I wondered could there still be that incredible drive within all of us to please a man who could no longer express the boundless joy and pride that he took in his family and their endeavours . We were driven to heal in the old school way, Dad's way, mostly on our own and with a hefty dash of stoicism to boot until that one day when surprisingly, we were able to talk about him again. It seemed that we had gotten all our memories back, and when that happened it was almost like having Dad back too. His birthdays were celebrated once more and Father's Day was no longer an occasion from which we felt excluded. Granted, no more ties, gloves, teeshirts, golf clubs, baseball caps, pajamas, pens, sweaters, bathrobes, socks, etc. were purchased for our father, but with each passing Father's Day we somehow got another tiny piece of him back. We remember that no one mattered more to him than we four, and I think we have managed to pass that on to our children. We remember how he would drop anything and everything if we needed him and today we are the same with his grandchildren. No one ever loved or believed in us more than Dad and now we stand firmly behind our sons and daughters encouraging and fully believing in them. I never looked for those unique qualities in anyone believing that when Dad was made they threw away the mold, but I was only partly correct because those qualities live and breathe in my three sibs, I just never really saw them until Dad was gone. As another Father's Day approaches, although I will forever miss my Daddy who claimed to be the "luckiest father in the whole world" I am so so grateful to Mom who said yes to a champion in life and love.