The House Party With A Twist

You have decided to spend a long weekend up north with friends and from the time you arrive it feels as if you have entered a small town pre-Christmas house party zone. One on Thursday, one on Friday and tonight you have yet another. Although you feel partied out you have no readily acceptable excuses available so you console yourself by plotting to put in a brief appearance and then make an early getaway to prepare for your return trip home in the morning. The glow from the brightly lit home shines through the large bay windows reflecting off the newly fallen white snow in the front and the small river at the back. The cars drive slowly down the small street and dislodge the guests who gingerly make their way up the path to the front door. Then it is your turn and the large wooden doors open. You step in from the cold, hang your coats and as your eyes adjust to the light you see the other guests; some seated some standing all with drinks in their hands all in party conversation mode. You join a small group and wonder only for a moment why the conversational tones are hushed, but only for a moment because that is when you hear it. The soft background music that gently wafts into the foyer and seems to settle like a melodious cloud over everyone. No piped in Christmas carols here, but instead, the brilliant sounds that can only come from a live musical instrument. You find yourselves drifting towards the piano as if under a spell. Then you see her, the pianist, tucked away in the corner by the fireplace. Your eyes are drawn to her magical hands and for a long moment you are unable to take your eyes off the perfectly formed fingers that glide effortlessly across the keyboard. Ice cubes tinkle in glasses as people wander in and out of open rooms and somehow, as soft and unintrusive as it is, the music is everywhere. The pianist has created the perfect background pallet for the rainbow of colour that her music seems to paint. This house party is perfect and you know that you will be staying a lot longer than you'd originally planned.

Family Holiday

As we enter the Christmas holiday season it seems that the buzz centers once again on family holiday plans. Much is said about the package deals available which will transport your family unit far from your snowy wonderland to a tropical beach with plenty of sand and sun. If your group is hale and hearty a winter vacation is the way to go and depending on your particular family preferences, you get to choose anything from the 5 star with the hot tub getaway to the esthetically challenging quincee {sp? } hut that you get to carve out of the snow (no not an igloo)all by yourselves. The choices you make will obviously impact the amount of luggage and 'things' you must bring along, not to mention the utensils and/or chains, ice picks etc. for the drive away holiday and/or the size of the limo to the airport which again depends upon the number of family members and the volume of bathing suits, towels and 'just in case' hurricane/tornado/tropical storm apparel. The dilemma of which way to go has been passed down through the ages for as long as there have been Christmas holiday celebrations and it is believed that this quandry is at the root of that old lament; "decisions decisions decisions." Our family happily has another take on holidays and we seem to celebrate whenever we are lucky enough to be together. We need no luggage or "things" and we do perfectly well just bringing ourselves. Our destinations are sometimes wont to change at the last minute and this never wreaks havoc with our flexibility quotient. We get to"holiday' as a family whenever the fates are kind. With the exception of one small black bag that sometimes comes along, we are seasoned travellers who look forward to each and every trip; location notwithstanding.

Shareholders Meeting

The biannual coming together of workers and the uber bosses they rarely see during the course of their work days is usually a time fraught with anxiety. The workers must be prepared to be unceremoniously dumped on for any number of reasons, most ironically having nothing to do with the actual job they have been hired to do. It is perhaps possible that the shareholders are having a bad spell at home and they bring this negative aura to the meeting where they take out their misery via many cutting and critical remarks all made under the guise of "I only have your best interest" etc. etc. etc. The shareholder could be suffering from a bi-polar type of illness but in honour of this meeting he/she has forsaken all meds and again the worker is trounced, only verbally we hope. The boss who is usually supportive, turns into a raging "yes" man/woman who all but forgets workers names in a desperate attempt to curry favour with the omnipotent. Essentially the worker bee is left to stand alone at the mercy of the basic character of the shareholder because it is evident that it matters little whether or not the worker is doing the greatest job on earth, the only thing that matters is the perception the shareholder has, of the worker, not the work he/she does. Normally I would not personally endorse any particular product through this forum but after hearing so many horror stories I feel that it is now time to put in a plug for a recently published workers guide which has many helpful suggestions to alleviate worker stress around these meetings. One of the most helpful hints I read in this must have book is as follows: "Do not let anyone talk down to you no matter their status because this is bullying in the adult arena" I agree with this and further suggest that you either walk away if someone speaks to you inappropriately or cup your hand to your ear as you smile and calmly say; "are you speaking to me? I can't seem to decode speech when it is at high do". Another hint addresses heresay which comes into play when a shareholder tells a worker how his/her co-workers have been polled and 'all agree etc. etc' At this point the worker might like to set the record straight by reminding the shareholder of the inaccuracy of polling results but he/she is better advised to casually mention that idle gossip is never the way to go, and then maybe casually drop the name of a well known lawyer who everyone knows is just the perfect person to look into launching a pro bono defamation of character suit on behalf of the persecuted worker.

This guide has numerous scenarios culled from various workplaces and I predict that in a very short time frame it will become a #1 bestseller. The book is called A User Friendly "Green" Guide on How to Become the Mouse That Roars No Matter Who The Cat Is.


Author: B. Poisson





ISBN62da

Long Underwear

The cold weather is back and the onus is on me to prove that I do in fact prefer the rigors of staying warm in the bitter cold to the thankless task of staying cool when the temperatures are in my opinion, way too high. As a connaisseur of "layering' although I fit quite well into this group, I have chosen to break away from the mainstream to found my own wee niche called 'attractive' layering. The rebel in me rises to the challenge of disproving the heretofore synonymity of the words layering and unattractive. I have decided to forsake the heavily padded snowflake infested pastels of old and go for the wafer thin and delicate slinky black that has only recently become an option. Every good layerer knows that it is futile to waste any thought on what goes underneath the underneath but in my new role as a maverick layerer I have come up with a myriad of choices to replace the same old same old. These range in various styles of decolletage and 'interesting "T"s in a rainbow of muted hues with nary a white or beige cotton blend in sight. Once the ensemble is complete and to my liking I might finish it off with a cashmere layer of socks (black of course) and voila! Long underwear a la haute couture.

Sleeping In

For years I have felt myself to be sleep deprived and to counterbalance what I perceive to be at least a bit of a problem, I make promises to myself throughout any given week. My promises are either to take a cat nap after work, to go to bed earlier than usual or to catch up on all the hours missed by having two sleep in days each weekend. This is all in an effort to be proactive but by the time Friday rolls around and I have fulfilled neither of the first two, I plan for the big sleep in. I stay up really late because I know I can sleep in. I turn off all the telephone ringers and then the funniest thing happens. My inner body alarm clock goes off anywhere between 6:00 and 7:00am and no matter how few zzzzzs I've had, I am fully awake. I fool myself into thinking that I can drift off again but with the sun reaching its long fingers of light under my window shades, this becomes mission impossible. My head begins to fill with the endless possibilities that a brand new day offers and then suddenly everything becomes crystal clear. No matter how little sleep I've had or how much sleep I know I need, the bottom line is that I cannot possibly donate another moment of a precious new day to my bed and my lost sleep. I have finally decided to focus less on my grown up nocturnal challenges and more on the philosophy of my younger days, 'Carpe Deim'!!

An Alternative To Pre-Christmas Hysteria In The Malls

If you are at all interested in keeping your sanity while the world around you seems to go mad in a shopping frenzy, do your Christmas shopping in August. One advantage aside from the obvious -lack of hordes who are all away on summer vacation- is that the sales are genuinely sales. End of August is the time when everything needs to be removed from store shelves to make way for the transition (through merchandise) from summer to fall. The markdowns guarantee that the leftover stock will clear with ease and you reap the true benefits in your wallet. The pre- Christmas sales are simply someone's clever idea of selling a mirage. In November the prices are generally higher then they need to be which allows those savy big corporations to offer us 50% off if you opt for door # 1 or the ever popular "buy one get one free" should you go for door #2. All their brilliant sublimimal messaging lulls you into a completely unrealistic state where you are certain you are actually saving! During the month of August you also have a good chance of being able to walk the entire mall without being plowed down by a runaway pram or toddler. You have no reason to duck as no one will be walking too closely beside you thus removing the threat of bodily harm which is inevitable during the pre Xmas season when the throngs juggle their oversize packages, boxes and unruly children. The other plus to the August shop is the parking lot which is easy to enter and/or exit and where you can actually find a spot. It is clear that during the Nov.-Dec. season the only one who can navigate those lots is Santa, because he doesn't drive, he flies!!

Saying Goodbye To A Friend ( L. L.)

How odd that friends from our past with whom we lose touch remain, at least in our perceptions, our friends. You move away and the day to day contact is gone but the feelings remain intact defying both time and distance. It is perhaps more difficult to handle when suddenly and with no preamble or warning your friend is gone because when you begin that inevitable road trip backward in time, you need to travel on your own. The one who could so easily corroborate all your memories is not going to be able to give testimony. Your memories need to become totally independent and must forever more stand on their own. You reminisce, you are back in Vermont, you laugh, you cry, you become wistful, you say goodbye but deep down you know that as long as you remember, there is that certain voice that you will always be able to hear.

The Visitor

He arrives at the airport and although he is 40 minutes early he makes his way to the arrivals lounge and takes up his position at the appropriate gate. He watches intently his eyes wading through the masses that seem to be like a moving tidal wave of people entering the arrivals hall from the inner sanctum of the customs area. The info board warns of a delayed flight and still he waits patiently no grumbling or agitated movements, but an inner calm below the surface masks the sheer excitement of this impending visit. As all who wait are usually rewarded so is he when the crowds suddenly part and he finally sees the face he had been searching for. A tall elegantly turned out man with a twinkling smile comes into view and the wait is over. The two men hug for several moments and to anyone watching the love is apparent. The years since they were last together and the oceans that separate them fade away as the brothers begin their reunion.

The Writer Goes West

After several years of non-stop writing his perseverence seems to have paid off...finally! In matters of discipline, the writer is an expert and no matter how dire the circumstances the writing never wavered. Time was found when none seemed available and somehow the writing continued. Dry spells were ignored before they had a chance to rear their heads and so it went, for years. The writer and his small but loyal coterie of supporters never once doubted that success would be his but they were not clear about the timelines. If he is nothing else, our writer is modest to a fault which has proved an invaluable quality when one considers the disadvantages to the swelled head syndrome. Only in fables of long ago might one find a moral to prove that big heads have their uses so since this is today the writer simply packs up his writing gear, gets those bags backed and heads off to a small island of his destiny, in the west.
Bon Voyage!

What To Do When The Road Is Finally Paved (D.M.N).

You feel as if you have been living in a war zone. Not only have you been dodging a multitude of roadblocks (see stockades)but the intolerable noise factor makes you wonder if the daily intrigue you've undergone in order to leave and/or return to your home each and every day for the past 8 weeks is worth waging personal transportation war over. You had begun to ponder living elsewhere for the duration when just as suddenly as they invaded all the trucks are gone and the street has been returned to you; peace and quiet miraculously restored. Unlike a post battle scene there are no visible scars to bear witness to the siegelike state in which you had been dwelling and although you find it hard to believe, the artillary noises have not left any permanent dents in your hearing. What stretches before you like an amazing vista (that is if you are an admirer of cement and tar) is a beautifully flat paved road. It is in fact so perfect that you are hesitant to drive on it, walk your baby in his pram or even use your bicycle lest you leave any tire marks. Digging out your old nearly worn fuzzy slippers you you put them on, go out the front door and gingerly take your first steps onto the 'new' surface. You begin to walk, (almost on tiptoes) and suddenly the street that seconds earlier had been sooo silent, is teeming with neighbours you'd forgotten you had while the war raged, you barely hear their footsteps as they shuffle along smiling at their good fortune, they have won back their street. You quickly glance down and notice that everyone is shod as you are, almost like post traumatic syndrome behaviour it seems that you are all reluctant to mar the pristine patina of the street where you live. Suddenly you all turn at the sound of a strange noise you can't quite identify which has broken the hushed tones that had prevailed until this point in time; then you see him, your neighbour the firefighter. He is bravely wending his way down the street on ROLLERBLADES!!!!

Taking A Break/Making A Change

At some time or other everyone needs a break from something. This can be as simple as a deviation or two in our day to day routines, as radical as a career change, a leave of absence or as simple as a change of address. Whatever needs taking a break from should be treated as a priority. How odd that we often procrastinate when faced with things we 'must' do that are the even the slightest bit 'difficult' and whose outcomes are uncertain. When our list of 'to dos" exceeds the size of our 'don't want to dos' it is clearly tme to revisit our situations and make at least a few changes that would alter the negative ratio. Kick boxing is a little known source for boosting our combative skills and may help us 'tackle' at least a few of those things we have been keeping on the back burner. You can try Tai Chi, Yoga or just plain walking but whatever you decide, make that change and/or take that break NOW! You CAN do it!!!

Click Click Click

Guess what causes the "click click clicks" that you hear even in a noisy crowded room from someone seated across and two seats over from you. Use your imagination but know, even if you do figure it out, the constant sighs intermingled with the endless clicks, were rather annoying and distasteful to say the very least. It's not as if you can turn to the click clicker and request that he cease all further clicking because (a) that would be rude and (b) it is quite possible that the clicks are involuntary. It is when you come to suspect that the click click clicker is completely unaware that his click clicks are disturbing, that you change your mind-set. Suddenly you feel empathetic and each click click click instead of causing you to erupt into nervous laughter, has you thinking about how best to deal with the invasion of your hearing sphere. You come upon the ingenius plan of holding your thumb over the opening of your ear, the one closest to the clicker. This proves effective in blocking out the sounds and your evening can proceed with nary a click click click click to bother you. CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK CLICK!