How To Be Supportive At Superbowl Fest

It happens every year but thankfully only once... Superbowl Sunday. Whether you get roped into hosting or pressed into attendance at someone elses party, the angst is pretty much the same if you carry that terrible secret deep inside; that would be your total indifference not only to the outcome of the big game, but to football in general. In an ideal scenario, you host, because then you can busy yourself in the kitchen, prepping and heating with only periodic appearances in the t.v. room when you have to be there for serving purposes. Trust me, as host, no one will notice that you are not glued to the edge of your seat on the sofa, biting your acrylic nails and whooping it up with the guys, as long as you keep the real fans well fed and hydrated.If (unfortunately) you are a guest, you must deputize yourself- immediately upon arrival- to the kitchen crew. If you fail in your mission, the consequences are sure to be pretty harsh. You will be relegated to a seat that will be yours for the duration. You will have to know which teams are playing, have some knowledge of the key athletes and be ever vigilant so that you can cheer and toast at exactly the right time so that no one will be able to know that you are a follower. If you are revealed as a follower the cat will be out of the bag, and this cannot be a good thing. You will be outed as someone who has absolutely no knowledge of how the game is played, how long the quarters are, what the 'downs' really mean etc. etc. In short, you will be like the Emperors New Clothes revealed which will not be pleasant. That sense of camaraderie that prevails at Superbowl house parties will be lost to you and what's perhaps even more punitive, you may well be asked to forefit your seat. The food served to you will not be warm but worse than tepid chicken wings,your beer will probably be the one that never made it into the cooler. In order to carry off this tremendous deception, you must be able to turn in an academy award winning performance, but I believe in you. You CAN do it. By the way, one of the teams is the Steelers!