Fondue??? ( D.N. )

Just in case you see the error of your ways insofar as forbidden fruit goes, you might consider joining forces with an honest chocolate lover who has learned the art of moderation. The best possible combination is a fondue of formerly forbidden fruit (before it reaches its expiration date of course) and chocolate, but obviously not just any chocolate, you must never settle for anything less than the top of the line with the highest percentage of cocoa. If you choose fondue in a timely manner, you might be able to legitimize your operation before drastic measures are required and you have no choice but to enter the Witness Protection Program. I leave you with only one cautionary note; no double dipping!!!!Happy Victoria Day.

How To Hide Your Stash Of Forbidden Fruit, Chocolate, etc.etc.

Everyone has at least something to hide but more often than not there are things that we need to be hiding from ourselves. For a variety of reasons, hiding can be and often is an excellent means of self-preservation. We can hide how we really look when we see ourselves in the mirror with an affirming statement such as, " gee I look pretty good for a 64 year old!" We can hide how annoying we find certain colleagues by saying that we are lucky to work with people "most" of whom are positive forces in our work places. We can choose to hide our heads in the sand and not see the disturbing qualities -that seem to multiply with time- in certain family members and friends. We can hide our fears by working on our bravado skills until we really are not as afraid as we once were. We can hide just about anything from anyone and depending on the level of our hiding prowess, we can be really good at it. The trick though, is to hide and not seek if you want the ultimate hiding experience. Let's say that you love chocolate and although you should lower your consumption rate, you are lacking in the willpower department. You can always stash your chocolate as you would your forbidden fruit. The crucial difference between the chocolate and the fruit is that you must not seek out the chocolate in the willy nilly manner that you seek out the fruit. You will have to develop an honour system where chocolate is concerned-this is clearly not a possible option for your forbidden fruit- You need to determine just how much of the chocolate is truly necessary and after you have come up with a consumption schedule you can hide that chocolate safe in the knowledge that you are now on the road to becoming less self absorbed and more sensible in your dalliances with cocoa. As for the forbidden fruit, so far it has been proven that hidden away fruit is perishable and goes bad a lot faster than properly refrigerated fruit which can and should be left out in the open not only because it has nothing to hide.

For Mother's Day Sunday May 11, 2008

When I was a little girl I knew that I wanted to grow up and become a mommy, but in the blissful ignorance of childhood I had no idea what that would entail beyond the requisite adorable bundles of babies that I was so sure I wanted. I clearly gave no thought to actually "having" those babies but I did see myself with fluffy haired wide-eyed cherubs wrapped snugly in soft flannel blankets in tones of pale pastel. I gave no thought to raising these perfect angels but I did see myself bottle feeding my babies (clearly I had no knowledge of breast feeding and its obvious benefits) and making them even fluffier as they lay in their bassinets. I never saw MY babies crying, with diapers that needed changing. I never saw MY babies with colic, they were always smiling..and no it wasn't gas!! I never saw MY babies suffering from the terrible twos. By the same token I never saw MY angst on their first day of school anymore than I saw it when they were finishing school, moving out and leaving their mom behind. I never saw MY babies grown and self-sufficient making their way in the world on their own without their mom pushing them in a pram or leading them by the hand. I always knew that I wanted four children because I was one of four, and after having two miracles, I ended up having three more come into my life. Though I got to help raise them all for a fair amount of time, in what seems like the blink of an eye, all of them have flown away from the nest. I never knew that mom time would pass so quickly. My mom is the greatest mom ever and I didn't even try to be like her because I knew it would not be possible. I never understood it when my mother and father would say that their time with us had sped by much too quickly because although we thought they were the perfect parents, we four couldn't wait to grow up and leave home. Today it all feels like a near perfect circle. The babies are no longer babies but this mom remains a mom albeit a different one. Older, still learning the tricks of the trade and somewhere inside is a very happy little girl whose dreams of becoming a mommy came true.

Family Reunion

Many of us are leery when faced with the prospect of an upcoming reunion, especially when the stakeholders are your sibs with whom you maintain a healthy but long distance relationship. There is a milestone patriarchal birthday to be celebrated and as you push your feelings of trepidation to the back of your mind, you are able to convince yourself that the great rapport you now share with your brothers has nothing to do with the physical distance between you. You feel that because you are now adults, there will be no more sibling rivalry, only love and appreciation for who you have become and that au fond you are the same closely knit brothers you once were growing up together in the little cottage by the sea that you called home. You forget the teenage to young adult years of numerous boxing sessions both verbal and physical and you remember only the laughter as you make your travel plans with scarcely any misgivings at all. If your luck holds, you will sail through the weekend with no instances of name-calling, confrontation, recrimination or familiar jealousy and you will rediscover the joy of family. You will recapture the love and laughter and find that you CAN go home again.

Continuing Dysfunctionality

Alas and alack, poor Yorrick the computer remains incommunicado as a result of latent usury by certain jumbo stores who have no trouble selling but have a great deal of trouble servicing what they sell. In view of and in conjunction with the EXTENDED "repair" time, (not to be confused with the EXTENDED warranty) there will be an EXTENDED period of sporadic postings for the next several weeks.

After The Winnowing

You have successfully winnowed and are left with numbers One and Three without a concrete plan for what to do next.....How do you find that perfect zone that lies mysteriously between not too fast and disinterested? How do you become a juggler so late in the game and how can we ask you to do more than you already do? You run marathons, FISH, winnow, etc. etc. so perhaps we are expecting too much...It would appear that you now have the ideal situation with Number One on the road a lot and Number Three conveniently away when Number One is here so the juggling skills you require are on a much smaller scale which is a good thing. There does however appear to be one other skill you may want to acquire. You have come to realize that you are stretched a little too thin and therefore need to recoup some "me" time. I think that the best way to do this is to become adept at RELEASE. Yes, this is indeed a well known term/strategy most often associated with fishing but every REAL "SPORTS"man know in his heart that if release is done properly, it will adapt well and be equally as effective when used post winnowing as well. Just think of the time you would save if you were brave enough to release the catch (after CLOSE inspection of course) and go with the frontrunner. Imagine how easy it could be to find the time to visit the DECOR center, pick the granite, the upgraded wood and still have time left to telephone your sister!

Catch and Release

Now that the fishing season is upon us, we review the fishing laws and find that there is a quota on Rainbow Trout. This year, while we may continue to fish to our heart's content we are legally allowed to keep only two. This is a very sensible addendum to the rules and regs as it allows for greater conservation/preservation of the aquatic world without taking anything away from the sport. I think that it might be beneficial to the conservation/preservation of our species if a quota was an addendum to the dating rules and regs that exist under the fishing umbrella. Consider how well it could work out if our quota of keepers was one! This new quota might scare some, and may be perceived as prohibitive upon first reading, but as you become used to the new lay of the land/sea?you will be gratified to realize that there is absolutely no reason not to continue to engage in the hunt, oops fishing experience. You will feel a sense of pride and accomplishment as your adherence to the quota supports conservation/preservation of the human world. Over time you will become masters of finesse and experts at catch and release.