Going South

Haven't gone away during March Break for years..not since the kids were small, and now unexpectedly I find that I am going to fly to the place of palm trees, sandy beaches, swimming pools and bright sunny days. I am thinking that with all our recent precipitation, I need to have a super duper powerful pair of sunglasses to prevent having difficulty when engaging in anything ambulatory. I will not need to avoid puddles anymore than I will need to beware of slush and/or black ice, all of which can be a shock to the eyes and to the feet as well. How foolish would I look stepping high to avoid the obvious and flat paved surfaces? My feet will have to feel their way around the sand and this will be done in the absence of the cloddy boots I have worn non-stop since December. I will need to leave the heavy parka, scarf, hat and mitts behind and get reacquainted with the lighter version of myself who can just walk out the door in jeans and a tee shirt. I wonder how I will fare with all those extra layers suddenly gone. I could easily blow away were a sudden sou'wester to come from out of nowhere and I am wondering how best to anchor myself so I do not feel out of my winter element. Flying into the same time zone does not of course result in any manner of jet lag, but what about jet 'perception'? The truth is that this is certainly a going concern when flying south from a home which is still under the thumb of Old Man Winter. I am going to do some research now to find out what to do to avoid this side affect, then I will be flying south better equipped to deal with the sudden shock of beautiful summery weather.

Say What You Have To Say

Yesterday a 'friend' at work decided to accept a position in another company. No, my friend wasn't looking to make any major changes in his life, but when he was given his assignment for 2011-12, he found that leaving was the only option, given that his new assignment was totally implausible and quite ridiculous. While you may be wondering if my friend had delusions of his own importance and if ego played a part in his decision, let me assure you that this is the farthest thing from the truth. The real story is that my friend, the voice of reason and sanity in our workplace has been a veritable thorn in our new boss' side. We his colleagues who while not utter buffoons, have nothing on our colleague's brain power and so it fell to him to be our conscience, to keep it all on the straight and for our boss, too narrow. When you work with a group of people who are easily divided ergo easily conquered, that old model of 'uber boss' is able to thrive and march on unchecked in her quest to ensure that her underlings tow whatever party-line said boss espouses and woe be to anyone who dares to point out even one single sensible,humane and palpable alternative. It matters not at all that the 'pointing out' is always done 'respectfully' the boss does not do well with any type of stop gap checks so now you will understand how my friend met his fate. Under the 'umbrella' of "there's nothing I can do" about your job, my hands are tied, my friend was effectively forced out. Talk about feeling powerless...it is interesting that my friend had no power to change anything anymore than his colleagues and I had any power to change anything. The only one with the power is our boss who absolutely did have multiple options available but chose instead to be cruelly 'creative' when offering my friend a position which was not only nonsensical, it was also nowhere close to being in his field of expertise. We all know that our boss has confidence issues but at some point even she needs to admit that she will never have enough digits to plug all the holes she perceives. The bottom line is the saddest of all. We lose an invaluable member of our crew, and I lose the joy of having him be part of my day to day life at work. Now that I am older, I see some things a little differently. I no longer believe that we can change every important outcome if we speak out and make our true and valid points. I do however feel the need to express what I feel and to make those true and valid statements. I am not afraid of fallout nearly as much as I fear not saying what in my heart I know needs to be said.

Never

Haven't we all at some point or other been advised against using the word 'never'? That almost over-used warning; "never say never" is all too often an admonishment, should we slip, and after years of brainwashing I know that whenever I dare to use it, I feel a tiny pang of worry. I do not worry about the actual use of the word, I do however worry that I will not be able to do it justice once it has left my lips. If I cannot redeem myself and stick to my guns then why bother to speak at all? I can swear off late night eating and say that I will never again have that last bowl of ice cream prior to lights out, but can I stick to my word? I can say that I will never be overly critical of anyone I work with but that is purely good intent and definitely not etched in stone no matter how emphatically I might have said it. I can say that I will not bother with anyone who has revealed themselves to be ultra selfish, but to say that I will never speak to them again is far from the sublime..it is in fact much closer to the ridiculous. I can say that I will never go to bed angry and never wake up still angry but everyone knows that upon leaving the heaviness of deep sleep there is too little control to make that 'never' stick. In short, after much reflection which I 'never' really like to engage in, there seems to be only a few 'nevers' in my life that are genuine and true and I am actually glad about this. I recognize that in fact I can say it and mean it when I say I will never climb Mt. Kilimanjaro, I can mean it when I say that I will never bungee jump anymore than I will dance ballet or sing opera, but I cannot say never to karaoke, as I may revisit that one although until recently, karaoke was well protected under the never umbrella. Now you've guessed it..my never realm is inhabited by a multitude of things which frighten me.They will remain there until/unless I can find a way back to fearless, when I NEVER said never.

A Close Family

We always say that our family of 5 is close and gets along with the minimum of fuss and/or angst. We supposedly do not meddle and have been known to be diplomatic when trying to offer support rather than speaking the words that oftentimes race across our minds depending upon the situation. None of us live in the same city, actually only 3 are in the same country but this does not prevent our consistent telephone connection no matter the time difference or price of long distance calling. After all, with family money is no object. This past year one of us has placed himself in what the others consider a precarious social condition. At first we did the diplomacy thing but it did not have the desired effect so little by little we became more succinct about our opinions and suggestions. We stopped just short of an all out FIGHT (anathema to our CLOSE family!!) and still we could not convince him to make the necessary modifications. We found ourselves in uncharted territory. What to do when all plans fail and the sib in question insists on wallowing in the mire? We find ourselves with no choice but to withdraw from the normal week to week sharing sessions and believe me, this is no mean feat given our familial norms. We do a complete rollback and we cease communications in Toto. Surprisingly, while this does not solve the problem for our sib, it is exactly what the doc ordered for us! Suddenly we are no longer feeling those pangs in the pits of our stomachs that are the by-products of worry. With each passing week of no 'new' information, we get stronger and the quilt of guilt (for not having been able to help)that we had become used to wearing, seems to be disintegrating. What becomes apparent as time goes by is that a truly 'close' family is one whose members rarely speak!

Wind

Well it seems that our high winds are a mere 19 clicks removed from a hurricane which doesn't seem to go with what I know as we are still in the midst of a full blown winter. I guess the piper needs to be paid if we suddenly have a 'balmy' sunny February day at +9. We get the water warnings, the thin ice warnings the squall and whiteout warnings but we do not get what I consider to be a proper wind warning. I am certain that no battening down of the hatches occurred in anticipation of potential wind damage, and so we are now the proud residents of this city where fallen trees are strewn across streets and snow swirls in tornado fashion wreaking havoc with our roads and highways though we are told to expect only a 2cm accumulation. How do you dress for this weather? Personally, I will not be leaving home until I am safely zipped into my wind tunnel repellent coat. It has many pipe like attachments which do a spectacular job of deflecting the wind and actually reversing it's attack. I do get that when viewed simply as a piece of clothing, the wind coat will never be up there with its more fashionable counterparts, the trench coat and parka but on days like these, no one will be noticing how you are dressed...The wind coat has its own special wind deflector goggles which are part of the hood, and the control panel (fashionably hidden) on the sleeve will allow you to easily deploy the metal rods that can instantaneously transform into a mini cell like structure, completely enclosing you and keeping you safe from blowing debris; the metal is uncrushable of course and the structure adheres to any surface, from pavement to frozen earth so you are well grounded with no fear. I LOVE my wind coat and the only concern I have is that the structure deactivator has been known to jam, leaving you temporarily 'stuck' and very much still 'out there' when the winds have long gone...then passersby do get to see you and you do look totally ridiculous.
Don't you just love the wind???

My OLD Friend (For S.G.)

It is absolutely untrue..I mean out of sight for me and my 'OLD' friend is definitely NOT out of mind. I have a very close friend and the fact that we have not laid eyes on each other for at least 23 years, has nothing whatsoever to do with altering/annulling our friendship. Granted, we may not be all that well informed when it comes to the minutiae of our day to day lives, but we still manage to remain solidly linked across the miles,and to somehow know all that is important, kind of like down to basics or no frills friendship.. Although having only this sporadic knowledge works just fine for us, its success defies reason, yet nevertheless remains our absolute truth. We have missed seeing each other, we have missed seeing our children grow up and we continue to be physically absent for each other as we march forward in time. Despite this, the tie that binds us is unbreakable. We still wishfully plan our reunion trips and dream about reintroducing our children who last saw each other as babies. We share so much history (approx. 33 years worth and the same birthday month!!) that even if we were to try to cut each other loose, we would surely fail in those attempts. Sometimes it can be challenging to maintain our connection. The computer can only do so much and eaddresses may change so we must be ever vigilant in our determination not to 'lose' each other. Once we resolve to 'know where we are' the rest is pretty much the icing on the cake. We get to keep each other as friends and I think that was always our intent even way back when when we first began.
My friend is still as beautiful as I found her to be when first we met. I do not need to see any recent photos or to see her in person to prove what I already know. She is my OLDEST and best friend who just happens to live very far away.

Am I Ready For Spring???

Once upon a time I thought that I only had 2 favourite seasons and that the ones I didn't love were nothing worth writing home about. I even contemplated telling people who asked me, that we only really had two proper seasons and I loved both! My faves are of course spring and fall. The reasons should be clear but just in case; changing leaf colours, gentle wafting breezes, getting to go out in a tee shirt and sweater instead of being multi layered to stave off the bitter cold, eating on the street beside a favourite food truck, picnics in the park, long walks anywhere and an occasional bike ride, fresh fruit growing willy nilly, gardens in bloom in a full palette of vivid hues, loafers, flip flops, (I am obviously not differentiating in my reasons list)cool rain boots and funky socks..jeans and capris interspersed with skirts and the odd (very) dress, a leather jacket and that old standby, the trench-coat. I love that my scraper is safely stored in the boot of my car and my fat cumbersome snow tires are tucked away in storage along with an assortment of shovels, heavy parkas, scarves, mitts, hats and boots.
There is however one chink in my seasonal armor...I actually do love snow. There is nothing as beautiful as freshly fallen powder that gracefully blankets all ground surfaces as far as the eye can see. The sheer fluffiness of the 'look' is hard to describe in mere words. I know I would miss it terribly were winter not one of the seasons available to me so in a surprise move, I add it to my faves. I do after all have all the accoutrement needed to survive the coldest of the cold and remain nominally toasty. The only drawback would have to be the dirty snow that is all you can see after winter has perhaps overstayed its welcome. The brilliant white can turn to ashen gray in the blink of an eye and the vista is no longer breathtaking, instead it has become grim. I know it is said that we eat with our eyes but I think we feel with them too because on those dismally grim days no one feels a lightness in their step; they feel an incredible heaviness deep in the soles of their ugly but functional winter boots. This brings us to my other non favourite..summer. Yes I love the balmy nights with wonderfully warm breezes that can almost be called 'wind', yes I love to swim outdoors but only when it is possible to go into and exit the lake or pool without having to run for cover from the cold. For me towels should only be needed to dry off not as a portable tent to protect against the elements. What could I possibly have against what nearly everyone calls 'glorious' summer? Well it's actually quite simple; I HATE those heavily humid hot summer days when even the skimpiest of clothing is still too much...no relief from oppressive heat and dangerous rays unless one is lucky enough to be able to spend those hot hours in an air conditioned space. (at least until sunset)This is an especially challenging season for us ladies who cannot go about topless with the same nonchalance as our male counterparts. So with March breathing down our necks and masses of dirty gray snow everywhere, despite spring being the prelude to summer, I think I'm ready!