Never

Haven't we all at some point or other been advised against using the word 'never'? That almost over-used warning; "never say never" is all too often an admonishment, should we slip, and after years of brainwashing I know that whenever I dare to use it, I feel a tiny pang of worry. I do not worry about the actual use of the word, I do however worry that I will not be able to do it justice once it has left my lips. If I cannot redeem myself and stick to my guns then why bother to speak at all? I can swear off late night eating and say that I will never again have that last bowl of ice cream prior to lights out, but can I stick to my word? I can say that I will never be overly critical of anyone I work with but that is purely good intent and definitely not etched in stone no matter how emphatically I might have said it. I can say that I will not bother with anyone who has revealed themselves to be ultra selfish, but to say that I will never speak to them again is far from the sublime..it is in fact much closer to the ridiculous. I can say that I will never go to bed angry and never wake up still angry but everyone knows that upon leaving the heaviness of deep sleep there is too little control to make that 'never' stick. In short, after much reflection which I 'never' really like to engage in, there seems to be only a few 'nevers' in my life that are genuine and true and I am actually glad about this. I recognize that in fact I can say it and mean it when I say I will never climb Mt. Kilimanjaro, I can mean it when I say that I will never bungee jump anymore than I will dance ballet or sing opera, but I cannot say never to karaoke, as I may revisit that one although until recently, karaoke was well protected under the never umbrella. Now you've guessed it..my never realm is inhabited by a multitude of things which frighten me.They will remain there until/unless I can find a way back to fearless, when I NEVER said never.