Ballroom With Dad

There is a commercial on tv these days which uses the most beautiful tango I know to sell condos and while I find the ad less then pleasing, it did trigger the coolest memories so maybe that's what I will take away from it in the end despite the ad company's wish for me to focus on real estate. When I was little we began our dancing with the waltz and the chacha, (my brother and I under Dad's tutelage) then in time, progressed to the meringue, mambo, rumba and finally to my favourite, the tango. My dad and mom took ballroom dance lessons and as the level of difficulty of each new dance step increased, my brother was replaced by Dad to whom I became a willing partner whenever he wanted to practice which was more often than not before bedtime when I was elegantly attired in all my pajama finery. My brother became a member of the audience which best suited his youth and two left feet while I learned that there was a whole new world for me right there in our living room as Dad talked me through those intricate bends, dips and sudden turns until I became a proficient glider and lover of those dances not at all the rage of girls in my age bracket. I would gladly forego the jitterbug for a chance to circumnavigate our music room which was an extension of the living room and had a bonafide dance floor which seemed made for our duets. On that floor I became confident enough to kick off those shaggy slippers and dance with nary a worry about having my feet stepped on. Dad was my first and best teacher, he was elegant, we both loved the music and hummed along as we danced. The livingroom/music room is sttill there and hearing that tango made me able to dance backwards in time.

Construction Zone

When you move into your brand new home, condo or reconfigured loft etc. you figure that you can count on the glow of all things shiny and bright to be cause for celebration and what's more, once the boxes have been unpacked and all things have found their permanent place, you expect to be able to kick back and actually enjoy your space. What you did not bargain for was the constant hustle and bustle that is a construction zone, so no rest at all for the 'move weary'. 7o'clock every morning is the start of jackhammering that will continue intermittently throughout the day until 5:30pm at the earliest..(unless it rains)and this includes Saturdays, bonus! People continue to flock to the moving elevators anxious to occupy their dwellings even as they continously keep that one designated elevator busy. The remaining two can go on the fritz with the same ease as the air-conditioning system during a heat wave.The supposed CONCIERGE is rarely if ever at his post should you have issues and have them you will but there will be no resolution. You may and probably will be missing all kinds of little things like towel racks, bath/shower curtain rods, vanities, mirrors, sliding cupboard doors and so it goes. The property manager may well advise you to 'hang in there' but the truth is you'll feel more like having someone else do the hanging.

Leaving Italian?

Two years of Italian classes ( a lifetime ago ) in university have left me with the remnants of very rudimentary language and this has become somewhat problematic as it is now cutting into my singing along to the songs I have redicovered which were originally recorded in Italian. There is no way for me to effect the necessary pronunciation without hundreds of run throughs and frankly my singing voice sucks so that option is imperfect at best. Despite the fact that I love to sing regardless of the off key notes I seem fated to produce, the bad accent is yet another worrisome part of this vocal mess. I am not about to take Italian lessons anymore than I am prepared to take singing lessons which leaves me back where all this began. The only solution that I think I can live with is to become a 'hummer'! If this is my chosen path it will not matter at all how much I seem to be able to butcher a romance language, nor will I need to listen to my off key self in a way that is sure NOT to be music to my ears.

Double Dipping (CPA)

Although usually frowned upon by modern society, surprisingly, the instances of double dipping seem to be on the rise. The physical perils notwithstanding, there are numerous other major dangers that to the 'sane' eye are clear as bells but to the D.D. seem not to exist at all.
I think it takes a special individual or two, to join the D.D. ranks but key among the required personality traits-after sheer stupidity- must be pure egotism which is much worse than the'devil may care' umbrellas under which they think they can hide and remain both undetected and protected for as long as need be.
When a sudden and unexpected gust of wind carries those umbrellas away and the D.D. is left standing alone? to face the elements, we need never feel any pangs of concern for them no matter how severe the raging storm, they easily survive, get back up and start it all over again... no lessons learned here. We can only be concerned for those who incorrectly believed that those D.D.s were their umbrellas. They are the ones who are at greater risk of succumbing to the forces of 'nature' because they are the ones who unwittingly hitched their wagons to the wrong stars.
Double dipping can and will always end in disaster!

Baby Shower Shopping

You have decided what to buy and all is well until you actually get to the baby department and that is where all your plans go amiss, awry and askew. From that first sighting of the mini onesie, all your plans fly out the window and you begin to fill your cart with all manner of things baby, none of which are on your list. From booties to hooded bath towels your buggy is soon overflowing and try as you will, after going through it all with a fine tooth comb, not one single item finds its way back onto the shelves. You stroll to the checkout counter never dreaming how significant the total will be, after all not much material has been used, hence there should be no premium charge for labour etc. and then surprise, even shock when your final total is revealed. You drive home in a state of denial; you could not possibly have spent that much on a baby who hasn't even made its grand entrance yet. You lug your immense bags into the house and then what? Well it was actually quite simple. You assemble the spiral blue baby hamper (yes it will be a boy) and begin to unpack the bags. You refold all those tiny items and pack them carefully into the hamper. With every item, you fold in a little love and by the time you're done, there is no more angst about dollars, only the satisfaction of a shopping expedition excellently accomplished, success! Although this may not be true from the baby's perspective, not one stuffed animal in the lot.!!

Bulldozers

There is a definite difference between the standard bully and the maniacal bulldozer. The bully can be dealt with using the various tried and true methods and the success rate is considered to be good if you are a thorough practitioner of these. The bulldozer on the other hand is a totally different animal. To combat this most dangerous phenomenon, you actually need an army that can stand together and form what I compare to a battering ram. You need to amass your troops, bind them together (the old twig theory) and lead them in their defensive march as the ocassionS arise. You would never want to be viewed as the aggressor so any offensive actions are hors de question! Responding to every threatening forward movement by your particular resident bulldozer is crucial if you are to maintain the safety and sanity of your army. You will need to remain ever vigilent and retain your integrity so that you know beyond the shadow of a doubt that any and/or all of your initiatives are in the name of peace and what is morally right. Due to the fact that you are trapped in a potential war zone you must never let your guard down and make sure that your troops are rested, well fed and ever motivated or the bulldozer will mow you down just as his counterpart demolishes any resistent standing buildings. Beware of the bulldozer who tries the divide and conquer method; this thrust could cost you the war! My final tip is to have those fatigues clean and pressed so that you are always dressed appropriately for battle.

Baby Shower

How strange are the feelings you experience when your kids are about to hatch and you receive an invite to a surprise baby shower that you are not throwing. The dynamics are forever changed when you find yourself discussing 'baby' paraphenalia with one who you have difficulty seeing as the authority on everything baby related. To know that 'the kid' is making increased forays into the baby department while out shopping, is pretty incredible and almost as hard to take in as the fact that he is planning a surprise baby shower for the mother of his soon to be born son. You talk about strollers and after you give your opinion on those two in one car seat vehicles, you find out from the 'new' maven that these are now mandatory if the baby is to be released from hospital. Times have indeed changed and the children who stand on the threshold of parenthood need to be trusted to find their own way just as you did. When you think way back to your time on the precipice of becoming a mom or a dad, remember how much advice you took from your parents and dole it out accordingly. If you've done a reasonably good job, your kids will do as you did without needing to do as you say.