Punctuality

I wonder how it is that on any given occasion when I have attended live musical or theatrical productions, no matter the venue, latecomers have always been quietly and efficiently seated even after the event had begun, yet when I try to enter the auditorium mere minutes after the start of a play being performed at a local high school, I am faced with locked doors and no possibility of entry. The locked doors are indicative of the militant stance of a group of high school teachers who have devloped a highly effective method for teaching hard core punctuality. You have to look beyond their present limited scope and see them for perhaps the true visionaries that they will turn out to be. I can see the future headlines: Local opera adopts new punctuality clause purchased from the High School Teachers Consortium. This will enable the Opera Co. to exercise any number of punitive options when deciding not to allow people in during THE main event! These could range from the simple door lock to a full fledged "door block" which would entail large (burly) men in elaborate costume (to match the scenery of course) holding "real" spears, to block all entrances while the opera is in progress. You might also come to find a group of large powerful Katrinkas who stand on guard by the doors using their enormous hats to camouflage the doorways leading into the theatre. As for the ballet, the perfect punishment for not being on time might just be as simple as several men in tutus standing outside the entrances offering compulsory ballet lessons to all offenders. While I am reluctant to say that rigid discipline is adviseable as a solution to changing bad habits, I must confess that those anal high school teachers who kept me from seeing Ophelia might have solved the dilemma of how to make everyone punctual.

Lunch Options

If you are like most of us, you will at some point during your work day find yourself seated next to an assorted group of your colleagues at a long table in the company lunch room. You will unpack your chicken salad sandwich and sliced cukes and prepare to eat. Invariably you will notice what is in front of those seated closest to you and be quite amazed at the story revealed by the food. Someone who is eating stuffed pork tenderloin and rice on a china plate using real cutlery shows you what he and his wife had for dinner last night although it is up to you to figure out who did the cooking. The guy from the "fitness" department is eating his gigantic green apple claiming that it is filling enough and then you know, he did not bother to make himself a lunch and it would appear that no one made him a lunch either. There are always two or three colleagues who arrive with small plastic containers of sliced at home fruit which gets added to one of those fancily packaged new yogurt containers which boast a zillion new flavours and you can tell that these ladies are hellbent on staying in shape. There are always those who make tracks for the microwave so that they can coax a dehydrated serving of pasta back to life and in fact these tend to successfully simulate the home-prepared meals because the aroma fools you into thinking it's actually home-cooked leftovers and not $1.99 frozen Michelina's! If your lunch room has a kettle as most do then you are never surprised to see those mammoth cups of "soup" again, not home cooked but not half bad in a pinch. Lunch room desserts tend to vary from fresh fruit, chocolate bars, cake (some actually are home baked) or the ever popular pudding cup. You find that with a minimum effort, you are well versed insofar as who eats what goes, and the most important thing to remind yourself once you have processed what you have learned is to exercise caution when you select your lunch hour seat; you have discovered that you do not enjoy the smell of that over ripe banana so you know when it is better for you to avoid the "popular" table..

My Brother is a Songwriter!!

My brother the lawyer is now a songwriter too and though this may surprise many people, those of us who really know him do not find it odd at all. Our house afforded us incredible exposure to so many different types of music and as young children we even dabbled in the Ed Sullivan wannabe stereotypical routines trying to prove that we could do it all, we could not only sing (my big brother had a terrific voice) but boy could we dance and emote.. (definitely me) including singing in Spanish as we danced the Cha Cha under our father's expert tutelage. We knew all the songs on the Reader's Digest quadruple LP (that cost us 4 months of saved up allowance) Deluxe Big Band Platinum Edition which we claimed was an anniversary gift to our parents but which actually seemed to belong to us as we'd race to the "music" room any chance we had to hone our dance skills on the awesome marble floor, of course only when our parents didn't beat us to it! We sang and danced our way through the years and along the way actually offered our babysitting services to Mom and Dad in exchange for having the dance floor to ourselves: "W'ell watch the "Little Ones" (a.k.a. our younger sis and bro) you guys go out for a loooong dinner." So it isn't surprising to find my brother returning to his musical roots. I remember when he would serenade his girlfriends down by the lake as he strummed his guitar; by then his voice had changed so I am pleased he has chosen to become a songwriter and not a singer.

Singing In The Car

The snow is falling gently and though you'd rather not be in your vehicle slipping and sliding as you wend your way home there are advantages to being out and about alone in the car. You tune in to your favourite radio station or pop in that CD that you love and presto you are instantly transported. Of course the place to which you are transported depends totally on the music you are listening to so the possibilities are endless. My sister used to play certain 'Frank' songs when she needed to warm up her voice on her way to a gig; unlike me, she never cared whether or not she was alone in her car, she and Frank had their duets regardless. I know this because on rare occasions I got to join in and we were happy that Frank as he always does, took us back to our parents, the perfect place to go! I seem to favor Jobim when driving in inclement weather and no matter the song, I get to Brazil! I am suddenly totally fluent in Portugese and quite a singer to boot. I can sing as loudly as I like and mispronounce any and or all of the lyrics but as I am a supportive critic of my incar crooning I THINK I sound terrific!! It is interesting to note that had I opted for that much-loved aria, I would no doubt have been transformed into an amazing soprano with an unbelieveable operatic range and perfect Italian as well! The danger of choosing to sing solo when listenting to country and western is the impromptu line dance that is sure to ensue and that is so not conducive to safe driving.

Grab Your Coat

The lyrics for On The Sunny Side of The Street can be as timely today as they were when they were written back in 1930, as long as you are able to apply the addendum that best suits you when you sing along.... In seeking even the palest of lights at the end of our personal storms we need to be aware that changes are part of our reality but that they do not always have to mire us in anguish, denial or negativity. Our "coats" may no longer fit the way they once did but we can still wear them as long as we allow ourselves to"look" a bit different. Our hats may be way out of style or rather without any defining form, but they are ours and we can still wear them even if only on "dress up" days. Our hands may not be able to wear those old gloves anymore but we can sure wrap our fingers safely around them and hold those old gloves the way they used to hold our younger fingers. There is an aura of familiarity within change in our no longer new "clothing" so that no matter how far removed we are from the "old" us, we have only to grab our "coats" and we have the infinite possibility of sun.

Award Night #24 At The Estates

Now that the writers strike has ended, the pre Oscar hysteria is again alive and well especially at the "Estates". There had been talk of scaling back in sympathy with the plight of the writers but now it's full speed ahead. The hors d'oeuvres are ready and waiting for their time in the oven, the roast beef is carved and set to jump onto the rolls and the chip bowls are filled to the brim well prepared for many hands to help themselves. Guests will be dolled up in their Oscar finery guarding their prediction cards in much the same way a student shields his test paper from potential copiers. Bets will be (conservatively of course) placed and the "games" will begin yet again in the tradition that is Awards night at the ESTATES!!!

L'audace? Pas Toujours L'audace!

When setting forth on a new road it is wise to remind yourself that you have made your choice insofar as the road you are walking goes so while you may believe yourself to be audacious, you are in actual fact quite well equipped for your venture. You alone know that were it any other way, you'd not have taken these baby steps away from the old and off to the new and unknown. Audacity is what perhaps first impels you to seek an alternate route but it is not what gets you up and propels you forward, that, is your reborn confidence. The force within that has examined all the parameters and elected to move on is what keeps you going, it is as simple as that. You may well incorporate a bit of swagger yet even that is not to be attributed to audacity, but to bravado instead, and not false at that. If you learn anything from feeling like a cat on a hot tin roof, it should be that all beginnings especially new ones are exciting precisely because their outcomes are impossible to predict.

The Precipice

For some reason the word precipice brings to mind all things not simply uncertain, but extremely perilous too, and we are advised to stay well and safely back. Most of us heed the implied warning and choose not to go against the grain for fear of falling into the abyss that is promised if you stand too close to the edge. It is however important to note that this word also implies a positive and brave (not foolhardy) possibility if we dare to face our demons and not be afraid of taking a different route. Sometimes the best paths to travel are the ones that are simply absent from the everyday map. We can clearly see where the precipice is, but we need some heavy duty binoculars to help us decide if the possible risks are worth the deviation. This is not to say that what you see in your long lensed view is exactly what you will find beyond the precipice, but if standing at the edge of that formidably daunting place doesn't scare you even more than retreating to what you thought was a safe place, I say hang out by the precipice!

When To Go

When it has been strongly suggested by your spouse that you leave and become the captain of the 'leaving' ship, where do you begin once you have agreed that the time has come to disembark from the 'couple' ship. Are you ready to take the helm of"the Bounty" and forever be known as the mutineer who broke up a "happy" home? You must seriously examine what your chores will entail before taking up your new post and only when you think you are up for the challenge do you make your move. You do not require any reminders from anybody regarding all that you will need to do. You might consider makng a series of simple pro/con lists to enable you to see the whole picture with a clearer eye and then make a more informed and less emotional decision. You may be overwhelmed at the onset but consider the long term positive effects gravol has on motion sickness and be sure to visit your local pharmacy before you take that first step off terra firma.

Pre-Baby gifts

Who is to say exactly which gifts should or should not be purchased for a baby set to make his/her entrance a few months from now? A recently acquired stuffed puppy holding a deck of cards and having the musical option ( courtesy of Kenny Rogers) of the "Gambler" might possibly be deemed a poor choice but then just because it doesn't come with a disclaimer a la "this toy will not promote gambling"does not make it a less than desireable choice for a nursery. After you find this gift an optimum perch on a shelf you may safely sit back in the grandma rocking chair and listen to a modern type lullaby as sung by Mr. Rogers while you rationalize that the newborn will certainly develop an early sense of cards oops math and numbers albeit with a view to four of a kind!

The Retractor Begins Planning for the Weekend

This is perhaps the weekend of all weekends for both the Mooner and the 'mooned over' and with it comes the usual spate of nerves and "first time" stress but surprsingly none of the anxious feelings that the former partner engendered. What a dichotomy, something new and unfamiliar without the craziness of what we already know and have been unwittingly locked into. You may wonder if the absence of weird and inexplicable behaviours has any negative implications for the Retractor and the answer is surprisingly no. In opting to pursue the Mooner, the erstwhile Retractor has chosen a more sane and stable type of character who embraces the normal side of life and is sure not to make any waves that may cause motion sickness. When heading back to sea as it were, it is definitely a bonus to be able to do so without the necessity for Gravol!

Guest/Usurping Bloggers

What to do when comments about what you have posted are so lengthy that they rival the actual posting both in size and content, is an unexplored area of the blog and a dilemma that can and probably will rear it's verbose head from time to time so it begs a resolution or a plan of action at the very least. I feel safe in saying that I have devised the perfect antidote should this situation befall you and your blog. Simply create a blogspace for the offending commenter so that he/she can comment to their hearts content free from any fears of censure and/or feelings of animosity from the original blogger towards the blogger wannabe. You may have to cut and paste the comment and post it yourself but that is quite a small price to pay for getting your blog back. The only possible alternative might perhaps be setting a limit on the size of comment you will allow. Think of it as a telegram and when the prescribed limit of words is exceeded, the entire comment will be automatically deleted!

Family Day

If you are among the 60% not working on this our first time out as celebrants of the newly minted "holiday" you may be wondering how best to spend your bonus day or you might be commiserating with the 40% who will have to remain on the job. They are no doubt justifiably dealing with a myriad of feelings which range from envy to frustration when faced with what they consider to be pure and unadulterated preferential treatment. Now back to us, the MAJORITY. What to do with this extra day has become a hot topic and aside from those with child care difficulties the options are interesting to say the least. Museums are open as are outdoor sports facilities and there is always the public park for sledding which can easily be followed by hot chocolate at home so it seems there is something for everyone. The challenge will be how not to seek out those shopping opportunities because you might then be accused of being shallow and materialistic which is certainly far from the truth.... Many of us do not normally take enough time for ourselves and though the 'family' part in the holiday name might seem to be the antithesis of "selfish"we need to remember that we are after all part of a "family" and as such this day really can be pretty much about us. Assuming the children are now adults, what's to stop you from having a huge FAMILY dinner on the Sunday, and saving the actual holiday just for yourself? You can choose to sleep late, read, listen to jazz or go for a skate. Don't cook or clean but do feel bad for those who have Monday off every week because they have not been included in the 60/40 ratio of statistics. Have a great FAMILY DAY!!

More on the retraction by the Retractor of the infamous retraction!!

It might be moot to suggest retracting the retraction if the retractor hasn't exactly tendered a bona fide retraction in the first place. The semi quasi retraction might be as simple as a barely discernable pulling back from the original offer and in truth might not have actually been noticed at all by the busily mooning Mooner. If this is in fact the lay of the land, the Retractor is home free. He can smoothly reenter the "interested" arena and make it look so natural that the Mooner quickly pushes aside any misgivings that she might have felt when what she perceived as the 'natural progression' of things wasn't actually any progress at all. The Mooner will undoubtedly be over the moon as she basks in the warmth of his smile and renewed interest, never to know that in a weaker moment that interest had all but disappeared. She will never know because the 'privileged' secret keeper has tied that eternal string to her finger to insure that not even old age allows her to divulge one iota of the cherished confidence.
Now that the Retractor is good to go and he has only one last question to ask himself; does he need to invest in heart protectors or not!

Romance at Work Part 5 or...The Retraction of the Retraction

An unusual situation arises when the "retractor" suddenly decides to retract his retraction! There is no rhyme or reason for his decision but the ramifications are almost too numerous to ponder. Back to the intrigue and probable office gossip in spades as the gloves are removed so to speak and the wooing is about to begin in earnest. The inside track allows me to be aware of this change of HEART even as the Mooner is still totally unaware that things are about to be rearranged yet again. The difficulty of course will be in finding out just how to stay neutral and not betray any confidences or secrets that I have been keeping. This does make a case for being a responsible confidante and not giving anything away, until that statute of limitations runs out. I can only hope that this time around the "retractor" knows what he is doing because it would be rather difficult to say the least if another retraction should be required. I know that I for one, would be unable to author that and what is even harder to predict is the negative fallout for the Mooner should this come to pass..For now, the Mooner wallows in ignorance, the Retractor is on a high as he plots Plan C and I, the silent witness am petrified!

Keeping Secrets..Still?

I wonder if there is a statute of limitations on the amount of time we need to keep the secrets that others share with us. When if ever do we get to do the great REVEAL and not be considered untrustworthy?? It goes without saying that there are some very dark secrets that should never see the light of day while there are countless others which if shared could save someone a lot of grief. How do you weigh the choice? I think that you need to do some soul searching and if you can manage to look at each secret as an idividual situation instead of lumping them all together into a parcel of random secrets, you will be able to make a more educated decision . Although some secrets spill over onto others there is almost always that important dividing line that is there for you to find if you take the time to look and once you have mastered the delicate art of secret separation you should be good to go, or rather tell!. If you think about it, secrets bear a strong resemblance to lies by omission and those are very very hard secrets to keep for any length of time. When you contract to "keep" these secrets you must think ahead. If you decide that the keeping will result in an increased level of stress for you and those you love, then simply decline. Those who wish you would help shoulder some of their burden will just have to look elsewhere. On the other hand if a long enough time has passed, and no one can be hurt, some of those secrets would make wonderful stories that you could easily publish. All things considered, a monetary reward for your years of silence would not be a terrible thing would it? The only forseeable problem could be if a ' secret keeper' gets so caught up in amassing a horde of secrets that he loses sight of the altruist he was when he began and turns into a mercenary secret collecting money-hungry would be writer!

Valentine's Day On your Own

If this is your first Feb. 14th on your own, think positive and get used to it because it is pretty likely not to be your last. This mind-set may not be something you can easily manage if you look at the glass as half empty, but if you are the half full type you will be totally fine. While it might seem that all around you are happy loving couples and families buying into the Valentine hype, remember that you are there standing on your own, a beacon of independence in a sea of hearts and flowers. There is a lot to be thankful for not the least are good friends who leave you in peace so that you can enjoy those chocolate dipped strawberries by yourself without having to share! You have only to sit back with your feet up taking extravagant sips of your Moet and admiring the tulips you bought for yourself that sit on your mantle. Leftovers feel like comfort food as you recognize how grateful you are not to be out at any restaurant waiting an hour past your reservation time for bad service and so so fare while watching an alarming number of men scattered throughout the dining room suddenly drop to their knees as they do the Valentine's Day proposal dance. You have not had to race to your local jewellery store on your way home from work to purchase the last minute bauble de rigeur that she either would have returned for something she preferred or that she would have worn saying" it's not anything I would have chosen for myself but what can I do?" You also get to bypass the Hallmark store and miss madly looking through the racks of picked over sentimental "To My Loving Wife" cards so in all , I'd say your glass is most definitely half full.

Listening

I have often advised male friends to take a fair amount of time prior to responding to anything said to them by their other halves and the reason for my suggestion has always been the same; I sought to save my friends from any and all harm that would surely have come to them had they simply interpreted what females said, and then in typical male manner opted for the immediate response plan. I am pleased to announce that I have one friend who has finally begun to see the light. While I do not yet know if he has truly gained any substantial amount of insight into the female psyche, I do know that he has devised a method of behaviour that will be totally disarming to all women and it is thanks to his innovative approach that his lady who had of late been giving him a bit of a hard time, has suddenly elevated my friend to "good listener" status, almost an oxymoron in the English language when women speak of men. My friend had decided to become a better listener and the plan he devised to point out his intent to his spouse was brilliant! During a recent telephone conversation he threw out his net by not responding at all beyond several "mmmm's, I sees, etc. etc. and catch the fish he did! I figure that if he keeps this up for any sustained length of time he will no longer be even vaguely tempted to return to those old fighting days but he will also never really listen again. As a woman I lament the lost instances where men might actually HEAR a thing or two when we speak to them, but in the interest of keeping the peace my vote must go to the NEW AGE listener.

Office Romance/Retraction Disclaimer

It has been brought to my attention that the "Office Romance" blog along with its partner "Retraction"could be misconstrued by any number of my devoted readers and taken as an account of actual events at my work place. This would not be a good thing as not only is it FAR from the truth, but the unfounded speculation could result in normally highly intelligent people jumping to any number of incorrect conclusions among which could be the grossly inaccurate perception that I may be a "mooner"! ( So not me!!!!) In order to nip the 'wondering' in the bud I will only say that events depicted in those blogs are only slightly similar to real events which occurred in London England about as far away as you can get from where I work. I probably should have added this phrase at the end of at least one if not both of the abovementioned blogs; "Any resemblance to persons working with me is purely coincidental and not in any way fact-based."

Plus Ca Change

Dating Overload (after 30 years)
There is much to be said for those old adages like "my cup runneth over" or "when it rains it pours". Having braved reentry into that sometimes stormy dating sea and after two years of planting seeds as it were, the harvest is finally upon you and what you reap is what you had not expected to see again, a part of your carefree singlehood reborn! After that successful reintroductory date you learn that there are three more people who would like at least a "first date" with you and suddenly you are almost more in demand than you were way back in the day. Now the dilemma is who, when, where, what and any number of other variables that you never counted on even having to consider at this stage in your life. You are seriously thinking that you might need juggling lessons ( to add to the ballroom dancing and Greek lessons...) even as your ego is having a total resurrection and at the risk of sounding smug and being accused of gloating, you are planning your imminent forays with the clear-eyed focus of an unattached young Romeo. You confidently shred the "just in case" prescription for Viagra that the doctor pressed into your hand at your last physical. You begin to play with your "look" and decide for example to shave the beard in a bid to appear as different on the ouside as your new inner persona demands. You wonder if this new look will be appreciated or if it will even be noticed, and you begin the subtle dance of disengagement( from the first datee) even as you plan to meet your number one choice from among the other three contenders. Of course you will have to wait until her jet lag wears off and now you cannot help but wonder who you can squeeze into the date void while you wait. Perhaps you ought to reconsider a brief second outing with the one who got you to back into the dating pool but then again no, as you are best off letting sleeping dates lie, at least for now.
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Sheepdogs

In view of the devotion with which the sheepdog takes care of his herd of sheep, I have begun to wonder if it would be at all possible for this uniquely noble breed to take care of "others" and not be exclusive to sheep. Imagine the boon to senior citizen homes whose directors will confidently tell prospective clientele when the "security" issue is raised" "We at Shuffleboard Manor use only the highly trained and totally adept sheepdog, so if your loved ones should wander off into the fields, Hammy our loving people herder will bring them back!" Alternative work for the sheepdog might cause some annoyance in certain fields that heretofore have been limited to humans, but we must look at the larger picture. A sheepdog to replace a child's nanny (NOT NURSE!!) would be quite brilliant as Charlie the children's sheepdog would head off all undesireable approaches to his charges staring them down and blocking their way until they are on the run. Parents would probably pay big bucks for the teen oriented sheepdog who in actual fact is none other than Charles ( father of Charlie) who is the chaperone sheepdog deluxe and will definitely keep his young adults out of harm's way without causing them any acute embarrasment. Training (depending upon your specific needs) for your sheepdog begins on Family Day Feb. 18, 2008.
Check sheepdogs@cityhall.com for the location nearest you.

The Retraction or Romance At Work Almost Part 4

At long last having seen the writing on the wall in the form of the beginning of harmful fallout and the inordinate possibilities for further chaos and destruction at work, the person who only a brief moment ago seemed incurably over zealous and hell-bent on setting up that first rendez-vous is suddenly scrambling to RETRACT! The problem now is how to initiate the taking back of an invitation without causing any undue angst to the "mooner". What appears to be certain though is that no matter how it is done there will be repercussions, some of which may turn out to be worse than the actual "date" and all that would have come in that package. Some might suggest honesty as in "I'm very sorry but it seems that I was a tad premature in issuing my "coffee" invitation, so could we possibly revisit this idea in perhaps a few months, years , NEVER"?? Or " Gee I hadn't realized how pervasive office gossip could be even though we've barely had a chance to get to know each other". Then there is always the "lie to be kind" route that if taken might sound something like this: "my boss has pretty well told me in no uncertain terms that I am not to mix business with pleasure and while I totally disagree with his philosophy, I find myself with no recourse but to bow to his will inasmuch as I do need my job!!" Anyway you slice it, there will be grovelling involved and if you are a reluctant groveller you will want to keep this to a minimum: "I completely understand, and whether you believe this or not, it's a very difficult situation for me too. Surely you know how very much I had been looking forward to our getting better acquainted." You seal your successful retraction in true gentlemanly fashion like this. " I KNEW you would understand, and at this point all I can say is thanks for letting our little office "maybe" fade gracefully from the public eye." In the end, once you choose the path best suited for you, the retraction is a piece of cake!

Penny Poker At The Estates

Poker For On The Cusp Seniors?
Is it any wonder that games like poker have long been considered to be luxuries reserved for retirement and/or the senior citizen age bracket? Bridge, poker, Blackjack and many more of their ilk have reared their heads prematurely during our youthful university days when we really couldn't pursue them with any degree of committment. These "games" became an alternative either to starvation (if lucky and playing for money} or studying, because as every dedicated student knows, they provide a lot more excitement than the tomes which seem to require constant attention if degrees are to be issued. It is possible to make it through both an undergraduate and graduate degree while remaining a poker virgin, and in fact you could plausibly coast through your years as a young married, and then on through the child rearing years in that same state of addictive? gaming innocence but one thing is certain, that gap in your formation, that pokerless adult that you have become will and does have to change no matter how many years you have avoided learning the game unless of course you have no desire to stay current. As we get older and tend to pursue a more sedate lifestyle, at least those of us who have no fear of getting older do, we still look for things that are exciting, challenging, competetive (a positive trait ) and affordable both where time and money are concerned and we do this because although we are still young at heart, maturity has removed the panic stricken mania of our "carefree" younger days and we no longer seem nearly as driven to flog that dead horse; eternal youth. We have played hockey, soccer, football, baseball, skied, snowboarded mountain climbed and hang glided yet we are in no way ready for shuffleboard. This is where life lived a tad more moderately and poker come in, because at this juncture in our lives we are not about to become out of control gamblers (not having the same powers of concentration or memory that we once took for granted) or habitual casino goers. Ours is the more refined poker played at home with friends and the ante is extremely low in keeping with our more evolved and mature attitude of "less is more". Poker is ideal for the pre-senior group because it meets all the necessary criteria of social interaction, without forcing us to constantly look in the mirror and see proof positive that we have indeed moved on to the next phase no matter how we try to fool ourselves; The Royal Flush!!

Romance At work Part 3

It has become abundantly evident that all my recommendations regarding slowing down 'the great rush', have gone unheeded. That brief deskside visit, (you will recall the advice touting the possible benefits of BRIEF 'pass -by' incidents of "idle"chitchat) has somehow evolved into a way too large chunk of time spent adjacent to the desk of the mooner under the guise of being occupied by 'supposedly' legitimate at work tasks. The utter "failure" to adhere to the suggestion that one is best advised to WAIT, at least a little while, is apparent in the increased "mooning" opportunities (taken of course..) which have resulted in a few OTHER people noticing that something is going on though exactly what that something is, is thankully not as apparent....yet. I find myself compelled to state what is obvious to me, and to issue one final cautionary bit of counsel; If you maintain your present pace, EVERYONE will catch on and there will be no other choice but to request a transfer to another branch of your company! You decide!!!

Romance At Work Part 2

The dilemma is clear but the waters appear too murky for you to be able to see any definitive solution. You have prematurely set the wheels in motion for your "office" romance and only now do you realize that you must pull back before you can go forward. While you are unsure of how best to proceed, you recognize the irony that that first telephone call (because every authentic office intrigue must begin with an off-site communication) was the easiest step of all, nerves notwithstanding. You have neglected to put any safety measures into place so that you are free-falling without a net with no alternative but to literally put the brakes on. It is not that you rue your initial contact, only that you can now see many of the pitfalls that you failed to address prior to your telephone invitation! Those early"mooning" looks have grown in frequency and intensity and you find you are out of your element when it comes to the politically correct response. Do you dash quickly past her desk or linger for a few moments of idle chit chat before you make your getaway? Whichever path you choose, the end result will be the same; you RUN by her desk!! Do other colleagues notice that you are dressed for the "JOG" or do they chalk it up to the fact that you are after all the CEO's personal trainer and therefore almost always wear runners at work....In the end you have no choice but to make an appointment to discuss your "situation" with the company wellness expert who just happens to be pretty cozy with the V.P. . ... You may even develop a fine sense of paranoia as you wonder what those two might be talking about when they meet up for their daily gab session at the water cooler...

First Date .......Again!

After a 25 year marriage ends and you have lived on your own for quite some time you will suddenly realize that you are in fact single again yet so far removed from the "dating" scene, that you are reticent to plunge back in but you are well advised to gather your courage and jump, both feet forward. It could be as simple as two adults meeting in a health club and starting up a friendly conversation. If the conversation is pleasant enough and continues through several weeks of chance encounters you may wish to be brave and suggest an actual meeting in let's say the hot tub of the club on a Saturday afternoon. Several more weeks of good conversation in the calming waters of the hot tub, and you just might recoup your pre-dating voice. You surprise yourself by casually suggesting an after tub drink at your local pub and when she accepts, you realize that you have just successfully completed round one of the "getting back to dating" process that you had so been dreading. You congratulate yourself and settle in for "Happy Hour" where the conversation flows as easily as it did at the club and as your comfort level increases so does your daring.
You realize that you want to extend this mini date into a bona fide dating experience and somewhere you find the words to extend an invitation to dine at a local Nepalese Restaurant. Once again she accepts and you are now on an official DATE!!! The cool part is that dinner is highly enjoyable for both of you and after a fine meal that reluctance for the date to end, sets in and you extend yet another invitation, this one to you flat. You know that her acceptance confirms what you have strongly suspected earlier on in the evening; this is you, back in the dating saddle again. Once back at your place, your "date" may be surprised/disappointed that you choose to conduct yourself as a true gentleman but you are gratified to see yourself as an older but definitely wiser version of the dater you used to be thirty years ago. Wecome back!!!

Romance At Work?

Statistically "office romance" has been referred to as one of the lower forms of bad work ethics and etiquette, and for some it ranks right up there with industrial espionage, but upon closer examination perhaps love at work is not the death knell of a good working atmosphere. There are always legitimate concerns when contemplating going for the gusto and these need to be carefully addressed before you take the leap. It is probably a good idea to establish some ground rules in order to avoid the usual pitfalls that will certainly ensue if you aren't well prepared. The number one concern is always that old favourite, "office gossip" which is usually a highly exaggerated take on something that becomes "public" knowledge and turns into cheap fodder in the rumour gristmill if you have not taken precautions. You must always conduct yourselves as the professionals you are, and herein lies the challenge especially in that first glow of infatuation when there are sparks that could easily become flames, because if these are detected it will be too late even if you are a veteran fire chief! You must never sit at your desk and look dreamily at the object of your affection nor must you make endless runs by a certain someone's desk when you really have no reason to do so that is not personal. You must not be seen alone together anywhere within the building where you work, you must not be seen hanging into each others car windows as you leave and you must NEVER be seen arriving at work in one car. If you plan well and save the hearts and flowers for after hours you will be fine and once in awhile you may even get to sneak in a secret wave or smile .

Shift Work

Although we know that envy is not an admirable charater trait, sometimes we just can't seem to help ourselves. How many couples do you wish you could trade places with because as you see it, they look soooo happy ALL the time!? You probably go through many different mood swings as you ponder this anomoly; you begin the "disbelief" phase by not quite believing that any couple could be THAT happy and then you move on to the wondering phase. You wonder why your girlfriend or boyfriend can't be as attentive, handsome, beautiful, talented. funny, and unabashedly brave about sharing each and every part of their lives with you! Next comes the"red" phase wherein you are surprisingly overcome by a pure and unadulterated feeling of envy which begins when you start looking to find fault with the "dream team" and find it you do. Strangely though, finding imperfection doesn't make you envy less or feel better about what you think you are missing, While you lament all those things that you see as minuses in your own relationship when you compare it to that of the "model" couple, raely do you ever really glean sufficient "inside" info to make any kind of an accurate or valid judgement. You never learn for example that "he" works the night shift from 7:00pm till 2:00am. You never learn that "she wakes up to hear about his work"day" and as he falls asleep, she prepares to leave for her early morning shift. When he wakes up to prepare for his night job, she is on the subway en route to her second job. When she finally gets home just before midnight, there is no one there to greet her or to ask about her day, and so it goes until that one day in the week when if the stars are properly aligned, they both have the same day off. That one day is always more difficult than easy and usually entails housecleaning, shopping, banking, and any number of assorted tasks that are relegated to the back burner during the rest of their hectic work week. If they do manage to muster up some energy, they will on occasion venture forth which is where you spot them, the PERFECT couple. so happy and seemingly carefree. You don't see how tired they are and you never see them displaying anything but contentment to be in each other's company. You see what you fear you will never have, and you are envious.. You wish you could be that couple! Whenever those uninvited feelings of angst begin to settle over you like a shroud, there is a perfect and highly effective antidote available.... get jobs that offer shift work. To maximize your odds of success, make sure that you are always on opposite shifts and almost never have more than one common day off together. There is of course always the option of finding yourself a musician or an on call obstetrician because both of these professions will afford you endless nights, weekends and statutory holidays where you are sure to find yourself alone. If you follow this simple plan, I promise that you will slay the "envy" dragon, faster than a speeding bullet!

Happy at Work

When your working environment gets a bit stale as most are wont to do, there is a simple enough way to clear the air, turn negativity on its ear and promote an extreme sense of well-being. Almost every work place has some sort of a staffroom where different configurations of staff commune at different times of the day. Some are found there during coffee breaks while other clusters appear during lunch hour, but no matter who is there during whichever shift, the demographic is the same; certain groups always stick together while others never seem to find their niche and just cannot get comfortable within either the "inner sanctum or the populist groupings. When you feel it is up to you to try to alter the oppressive cloud that hangs over your mildly disfunctional staff', there is a highly effective form of team building that you can use . Simply hire a "personal" chef and invite all stakeholders to a "choose your own omelette breakfast with all the trimmings". You have only to find the perfect like-minded colleague with whom you can partner up for both financial and moral cooperation, provide the numbers and suggested menu options taking into consideration any food allergies etc. and let the chef do the rest. If the food is great and the desserts are tantalizingly delicious, you will see a staffroom unlike any you have ever seen before. Small or large tables are teeming with people who though they work in the same building, have never really SEEN or spoken to each other other than the "normal" cursory greetings mumbled in passing. People actually appear to be enjoying the company of their tablemates and not simply tolerating them as they normally do while they wolf down their sandwiches and/or eat their microwave lunches. You and your partner can plainly see a more relaxed populace who are actually lingering at their tables in animated discussion as they ooh and aah over the food which appears to be the tie that binds, at least during this early morning test drive of a "sit down/buffet style" breakkfast. I think that the freshly prepared customized eggs are the impetus for our co-workers to remain in the staffroom and break bread together as opposed to the non-chef routine buffet which allows us to grab our food and beat a hasty retreat back to our personal fortresses. In order to make this work you will need not only a creative chef, but a creative administrator with that rare gift of heart. If you are lucky these pieces will be in place and you will be able bring at least a temporary end to to apathy at work. This is of course a rather costly endeavour but has been proven to be well worth the outlay for the positive energy and feelings of goodwill it promotes. You must however be prepared not to be able to reach all your colleagues as you throw out the safety in comfort food rope...There will unfortunately always be at least one or two staff members who are beyond saving. You must decide to let them go, allow them to wallow in their own particular unhappiness and you must in the end be grateful that they chose not to enter the happy space that the rest of you inhabited at least for that one shining moment. Long term effects are something to look forward to.